nursery

[robsters]

so my son been at his new nursery for 3 months now, he only got a week left before easter break. he seems to be making friends there but everytime myself or my wife go pick him up the ladys in there over last couple of weeks seem to be telling us he being naughty but yesterday was worst day, lady complaining he broke a toy of theres, when they tell him off he won't listen and that he tried to hit and spit at them, my reaction quite shocked because i said i never ever seen my son ever do any of this stuff, while i talking to the lady my son trying to get me to leave with him and get out the door he was clearly stressed to get out of the place, i grabbed his things and left they then said good bye to him outside but my son just frowned at them. we left as i walking my son to the car he kicking hits feet and looking extremely depressed and down. to make matters worse he just refusing to eat there. i said to my wife i plan to pull him out of the nursery agrees with me but we both feel sad he has no other place to go we not sure if we can find him another place now until september at best. any thoughts or ideas on this situation that just seems to be spiralling out of control. my feeling is these ladies there are just being to harsh on our son as behavior seems to got worse since been there even at home at times but def not as bad as what they told me which is very concerning.

The nursery clearly isn’t a good fit for him. I think you’re right to pull him out. Have you considered a childminder? It sounds like nursery might be too much for him and a childminder will probably be a bit calmer and it will be a consistent caregiver. However, it might also be worth mentioning to your HV or doctor if you’re worried that the behaviour is more than just the fact that he’s not happy at nursery.

mostly wanted him at a nursery so get him ready for school mix with other children, yeah i think he not settled at all, as for behavior i believe spitting was due to his cold/throat my wife said he trying to spit out the felm as for hitting all i ever seen him do is flap his arms if he upset but to call it "proper hitting" like the way they described is not right

I think you (and your wife) need to make an appointment to go and talk to the Nursery staff.
Clearly he has been anxious there.
How old is he ?
Has he been anywhere before where he has been mixing with other children (a Play group or a 'Stay and play' or a creche) ?
What is his speech like ?
What is his understanding like ?
What is his eating like at home.
The fact you say he "flaps his arms if he is upset" is something I would discuss with them
I would ask them if they have any concerns about his play skills and his social and interaction skills.

Don't get me wrong, some Nurseries and some children don't 'just fit', and sometimes it is worth finding a better match, but I would want to talk with the staff about why they feel he hasn't settled and if they feel they have concerns about his development. Children quite often respond differently at Nursery from at home, as obviously it is a completely different situation.
I would also want to know about specific examples of this "being naughty", and what led up to it (what was happening just before, and then at the time, what the 'trigger' might have been) , and what happened afterwards. I wold ask them what they then put into place to help him cope better with the situation next time.