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Original poster

How did you know you were ready to start a family?

15 replies

ThomasOMalley · 14/03/2019 19:25

Just that really!

I'm getting married this year and would love to start a family soon, I've wanted a baby for a long time.

However, as I'm still in my 20s the couple of friends I've confided in about wanting a baby have seemed horrified and just talk about how far away they are from wanting kids.

I've got lots of kids in my family so have always been comfortable around babies and kids and I spent a good chunk of my 20s travelling so dont feel like I've missed out on anything.

Me and DP have stable jobs, mine pays quite well and his pays even better. We've owned our own home for a number of years.

I feel ready but wondered how you knew you were ready for a baby?

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FTMF30 · 14/03/2019 21:14

If you feel ready then go for it. Your friends are at different places in their lives and that's fine.
I desperately wanted a baby since my mid twenties but OH wanted to wait until we were completely ready (which would have been never), kind of accidently got pregnant when I was 30 and had a mild panic attack and was mourning my old care free life. I was bricking it when having an actual baby became reality and not an idyllic fantasy.
I'm finally getting into the swing of things now DS is 8months and I'm enjoying being a mum. Most of my friends are like yours (horrified at the thought of having kids yet) but I've always felt I want to have that lovely bit of life in my 50s where I can enjoy my kids who are more independent, rather than having a kid in my late 30s and be going through the thick of things in my 40s. I'm happy to have had my first at my age. Maybe even a couple of years younger would have been ideal.

MeadowHay · 14/03/2019 21:22

Didn't, just was both broody, thought about pros and cons and decided to give it a go. We weren't "ready", and we knew that - but we both also believed nobody ever is, and we still feel like that now - she's 9 months. I don't believe there is ever a right time and lots of people do big life events in different ways/different orders and have different priorities etc. We are mid-twenties.

boosterrooster · 14/03/2019 22:27

Broodiness just kicked in! Had to wait for hubby, then boyfriend to catch up though

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Original poster
ThomasOMalley · 14/03/2019 22:40

Thanks guys that makes me feel better about it all! Star

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Contraceptionismyfriend · 14/03/2019 22:50

I was sat in a disabled toilet and the test came back positive. I was 21 and we'd been together a couple of months.

We are now married and expecting our third.
I don't think I'd ever have felt ready. But it was the best thing that could've happened.

If your relationship is stable, loving and you are both financially secure then go for it.
I'm now happy that I started that bit younger as it will be over quicker 😂

VelvetPineapple · 14/03/2019 22:58

I didn’t. I wasn’t. But I’d reached the point where 40 was beckoning and if I didn’t have a child it would be too late. I was married and had a house and no debt, there was nothing else to tick off the list. And my parents were getting old, if I waited much longer they wouldn’t get to meet their grandchild. If I’d waited till I actually felt ready I’d be 50 or 60 - or possibly never!

Downhillrider · 14/03/2019 23:01

I don't think we was ready to start a family i was 17 and my wife was 18 at the time it just happen. My oldest is now 12 and we had 2 more children

coral13 · 15/03/2019 13:00

To be fair, you sound a lot more 'sorted' than just being in your 20s so I wouldn't worry about that bit.

I wanted the security of the house and comfortability of enough money. We reached that point and knew if we waited a few more years that realistically nothing else was going to chance, but fertility might decline so seemed like the best time!

coral13 · 15/03/2019 13:01

I should also add that I've been most places in the world I've wanted as I've been very lucky so I had also got all of that out of my system already. (a lot of our friends are just starting to do that now)

faifyandtatsforeva · 15/03/2019 13:05

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ShabbyAbby · 15/03/2019 13:08

When I saw the positive pregnancy test Blush

FartnissEverbeans · 15/03/2019 15:51

I didn’t, I got pregnant accidentally at 32. I had pretty much decided I didn’t want children so it was a shock.

However, I really enjoy being a mum and actually part of me wishes I’d done it years ago (because then I could have more babies Grin) I think you should go for it if that’s what you want.

Bobcatcornea · 15/03/2019 15:55

Following with interest. DP and I own our own house and have done for a while. I feel ready but in reality I know it's not happening yet as I'm off to university in September. Ahh well, maybe in 3 years time we'll be in a more financially secure position to try

Original poster
ThomasOMalley · 16/03/2019 11:12

These answers have been so helpful and positive, thank you!

I guess I just need to remember that everyone is at different stages! Some of my friends did do masters degrees/phd's etc or struggled to get the jobs they wanted after uni so I guess they're just at different points them I am - which is a whole nother scary point in itself haha!

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Beansprout30 · 16/03/2019 20:16

I turned 30 and it was like a switched had flicked and suddenly I just wanted a baby. It took 2 years to conceive which we were not expecting and a lot of stress, would have started ttc sooner if we knew it would take so long. If you are in a good place in your life just go for it

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