Daughter wants to call my partners mum, nanny

[Cherim90]

Hi all. My partners mum has shown a massive interest in supporting me and my partner and my child who is from a previous relationship. My daughter is soon to be 6 and has started calling her nanny sometimes, sometimes by her first name too! Now....... the problem lies with my mum. She is telling me what to do, telling me it's not right and to correct her etc. What's your opinion on this?

My partners mum treats her like a grandchild and actually babysits more than my own mum (I know it's not about point scoring) but just wanted to point out that she helps out and is more than happy too

My dc call my mil's partner grandad. Obviously they have 2 other grandads but it's never been an issue.

If you, your child and your partners mum are fine... I'd be telling your mum that DD gets to use that word.

I don’t see why it’s not right. It’s lovely that your daughter has an extra grandparent. My son is 6 months old at the moment but we call my parents partners nanny/grandma as that’s how they treat him. Extra love can only be a good thing!

If your daughter and your DP’s mum are fine with it then it shouldn’t be a problem. It’s not really anything to do with your mum

I called my step father’s parents Grandma and Grandad. Come to think of it, my step father has always been ‘Dad’ too.
If she loves your DD and behaves like ‘nanny’, why the heck shouldn’t she be nanny?

It's not your mum's choice it's yours

My DC call my partners mother Nain as we are all Welsh (other than the DC ) and frankly if my mother had a problem with that I'd tell her it was none of her business

Children often like an affectionate terminology to those they view as family and your partners mum would be one (presuming she isn't Batshit of course )

Tell your mum to butt out

Why not call her ‘Nanny Sue’ and your mum just ‘Nanny’ or ‘gran’ or whatever. Over time she might drop the Sue part but could appease your mum in the short term.

I grew up calling my dad’s stepdad Grandpa. Weirdly my dad’s stepmum has no interest in being Nanny/Granny/etc. So was always Auntie X. That always confused me far more tbh!

I have step parents on both sides. My kids call them all Nanna / Grandad. We've had to add nicknames to differentiate them all, i.e. Nanna Up The Hill.

It's not up to your DM.

If your DD has a good relationship with your partners mum, and you are planning to be together long term then it's fine.

My DS has/had a bunch of grandparents and step grandparents. He started calling my DH's parents grandma a d grandad shortly after we married - so he would have been 10 yo. I like it. Shows that he's comfortable with them.

Your DM cannot dictate what your DD calls your partners mom. She's being ridiculous.

My mom told me not to let my DD call my step mom Nanny. I ignored her. They're never in the same room at the same time anyway (whole other story) so it really makes no difference what DD calls who, what!

My DD calls my partner's parents nanny and grandad. It never even occurred to me to think about my mum's reaction to it. She knows she's a well loved Nana in her own right

Sounds like your DM is jealous. Ignore her and let your DD call the person she sees as her nanny what she likes.

Thank you all for you're replies you've just confirmed my thoughts really. My mum tries to compare it to how I would feel if my daughter called someone else mum etc etc to persuade me not to let it happen, which is an entirely different thing in my eyes. I'll just let my daughter call her nanny followed by her first name and my mum will have to grow up and deal with it 😄😃😀😁 plus I am pregnant currently so makes sense even more to allow it

It’s fine. Children can have several nannies or whatever they wish to call their grandparents.

I was talking to a lady in the queue at the bank yesterday and she was telling me she had no grandchildren but her son had a partner and the partner had a sister and the sister had children and she just lit up when she was talking about these children. I thought it was lovely.

My kids used to call our neighbor granny, she loved it and we let them off.
It should be about the child not the adults.

I am a nanny to my son's ex partners son , My son has a child with his ex , and even though they are no longer together he treats her son as his own and shares parenting with both children
Families arent just blood , they are whoever you accept into your heart

My mum is remarried. My son calls my stepdad grandad. I have a close relationship with my own dad and he is obviously grandad as well. But I wouldn't dream of my son not calling my stepdad grandad

I think it’s nice that mil is taking an interest in her step -granddaughter. It’s absolutely fine for dd to call her nanny. Grandparents don’t have to be blood related to be grandparents.

It’s not your mum’s decision, end of.

I'm nearly 30 .... My nan has a "boyfriend" and I called him grandad for as long as I can remember - he married my nan only a few years ago and my daughter (7) also now calls him great-grandad

He's done everything a grandad would do, I'm lucky to have him and so is my daughter.
He never had his own children and he said he loves it that we have continued to call him grandad even when he gave us the option to stop - when I was about 13 I think
My daughters other great grandad doesn't mind - and my other grandad didn't mind either

Wouldn't be even more confusing if your new child is allowed to call her Nannie but your first child isn't?

I've never thought of it to be honest. I my Mum has a partner and I even call him the dog's Grandad so I can't imagine not having our child call him Grandad haha. So be honest, he also has his own biological Grandchildren but it would just be so weird for him to be our child's Grandad as he's basically fulfilling that role, the same as a biological one would.