Emetophobia in 10 year old girl - please help my friend!

[OrdinaryGirl]

My friend's 10 year old daughter has emetophobia following a bout of very severe vomiting 4 years ago. It has gradually been getting worse and it's now reached the point where she is refusing to eat.

Her parents have tried helping her over the 4 years with counselling sessions, hypnotherapy, relaxation, yoga, rhythmic breathing, All with limited amounts of success.

My friend understands that all these things take time to work, but is anxious that it's getting worse and not better.

She is planning on trying Emotional Freedom Technique but is understandably at her wits' end. I said I would ask the awesomeness that is the Mumsnet hive mind and see what you could come up with. There just have to be parents / carers on here whose kids have suffered with the same thing.

Thank you all very much in advance. 💐

I haven’t got much advice for now, but just wanted to give some reassurance. I suffered with this terribly from the age of about 9. It eased on its own over the years, and although I am still phobic (aged 33) it doesn’t affect my day to day life at all - I’m actually a nurse so see it quite a lot!

One ‘benefit’ I suppose was that I didn’t ever want to try alcohol, and didn’t get tipsy until I was about 25. I’ve never been so drunk that I was sick, purely as I am so frightened of it. Pretty reassuring for my parents when I was a teenager!

My parents were just very kind and understanding about it, didn’t pressure me into anything, and just let me eat whatever I wanted (although that wasn’t a huge problem). They just supported me, and listened to me when I was scared or anxious. They never minimised it, but just gave me gentle reassurance.

Thank you so much for your reply Sipper - I will pass this on. Really glad you have been able to overcome your emetophobia - that's brilliant news!

I've suffered with this since about 18. Therapy didn't do much for me I felt, it just gradually got better over time. I still avoid contact with sick people, eating out and drinking alcohol, and wash my hands religiously (though I think everyone should do that!), and have the occasional panic, but I am able to have a pretty normal life now. I work, travel, and even managed to get through pregnancy (so far)!

I would suggest finding a balance of 'indulging' just enough avoidant behaviour to make her not panic constantly (eg avoiding the most scary foods), and then very slowly challenging those behaviours a bit more, one by one. This may vary a lot between people but I was always able to be quite rational about the irrational fear, if that makes any sense. For instance, if she's mature enough for that, the parents can talk to her about the relative risks of different foods etc. and try to establish some rules/patterns that make her feel safe enough to eat at least certain things. Also explain that not eating actually makes nausea worse and vomiting more painful so it's always better to eat small amounts. I feel for her, it's a nasty thing to shake!

And I strongly agree with pp that minimising her fear will definitely the opposite effect, though it sounds like your friends are lovely and understanding parents. Still, even unintentionally, all these therapies etc. may make her feel pressured to make progress, and it's very tiring to work on a mental health problem. Time and patience can do a lot of good.

I just found these replies! Thanks so much. I will pass these on - some important points made here.