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Parenting

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Original poster

Should I let him take our 2 year old abroad?

39 replies

Wellybobs2 · 14/03/2019 02:35

My OH’s parents are ex pats who live in Cyprus. We have visited them every single summer for 2 weeks for at least 4/5 years, including only months after DS was born.
I have a awful fear of flying so spend months leading up to going dreading it and then have to take diazepam, which isn’t ideal when I now have a child to look after.
I don’t particularly enjoy it when we are there as it’s too hot for DS to be out so we are basically stuck sweating inside all day, and then they like to go out on a night to restaurants/bars until the small hours, which was fine when it was the 2 of us but I don’t agree with it when we have a tired child with us! We spend the whole time basically doing what they want to do, visiting their friends etc so they can show DS off.
I’ve said since last year I want a year off from going as I said I spend the whole lead up dreading it and then counting down the days when we are there. OH agreed but then decided with his mum that he would go without me for a week and take DS with him alone. I know he’s his dad and he’ll take care of him but I feel like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place of being without my baby for a week and letting him be abroad without me or spending months of my year dreading a fortnight I hate. I suggested they come over here and we all go on a UK break but that was ignored. Everyone I have spoke to said they can’t believe I’m letting my child go away without me but I know if I told him he couldn’t take him his parents would be calling me all the names under the sun.
What do you think?

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Wallywobbles · 14/03/2019 06:53

At 2 my DDs grandparents took them for a 10 day holiday. They took each DC when they got to that age. It was a special time for all involved.

nrpmum · 14/03/2019 06:57

50 degrees is too hot for a 2 year old. 😂

My daughter managed when we lived there for 2 years at 6 months to 2 years 6 months. Plenty of hydration, light clothes, hat, sun lotion, air conditioned buildings.

I'd let him take your son, and take the week off.

AnotherEmma · 14/03/2019 06:59

Oh come on. It's different if you live there. You adjust. Not the same as a 1-2 week visit.

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2 year olds Families General parenting

VelvetPineapple · 14/03/2019 07:03

It would be ok if your OH could be trusted to look after the baby and have him in bed at an appropriate time. But it sounds like the GPs have already set a precedent for not catering for the baby’s needs, and last time your OH just went along with it? I wouldn’t be happy if my child wasn’t being prioritised so on that basis I’d probably say no.

nrpmum · 14/03/2019 07:09

It's not the first year you live there. Plus the grandparents do live there and would know the sensibilities of when to stay in, etc

AbeFroman · 14/03/2019 07:14

I wouldn't let him, no way. The parents sound selfish. I'd worry about my baby far too much and would see it as a waste of annual leave for me and my partner to holiday away from one another. I'd go the year after.

ems137 · 14/03/2019 07:16

I definitely wouldn't let him but then that's because I wouldn't trust DH to put DS needs first. But then again, have YOU put DS needs first whilst there?

notapizzaeater · 14/03/2019 07:20

Thousands of families with kids will be going to Cyprus this summer on hols. They will be staying up late. Yabu.

He's taking his son to visit his family, your own anxieties are stopping
You going.

JenniferJareau · 14/03/2019 07:40

I'd let him go and use the time they are away to rest and have some you time.

AnotherEmma · 14/03/2019 07:58

OP didn't post in AIBU but people are still replying as if she did 🙄

OP unfortunately most people who are lucky enough to have normal, reasonable parents and PILs have absolutely no understanding of what's it's like to be pressured into visiting selfish, unreasonable parents or PILs to the detriment of your own family unit - your child(ren) and your relationship.

You would probably get more understanding and helpful replies on the Relationships board.

BorsetshireBlew · 14/03/2019 08:00

Only a week? Of course you shouldn't stop him from taking him.

Jackshouse · 14/03/2019 08:09

At home I always put DDs interests first and follow her routine but I think you are being unreasonable.

People have given lots of suggestions of how to make it work. It’s holiday so time to be more flexible your toddler (not baby) routine. Can you go later in the year when it’s a bit cooler? Talk your DH about you can do to make it more suitable. Eg not going to a restaurant every night occasionally you can say no it’s toddler is over tired and needs and earlier night. Although if they are having a longer nap due to late night and the heat they might not need it.

MNHQ

LilyMumsnet · 14/03/2019 09:09

Hi folks

Can we remind everyone that it's not great netiquette to bring up past posts on the boards? It often derails a discussion. Thanks all.

Cherim90 · 14/03/2019 18:21

Ummm it's a hard one as I would feel the same as you. They should come over to see you guys it's hardly fair you going there every year for 2 weeks x

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