Bottle instead of Breastfeeding making me feel sad

[Poppy1989]

I feel like talking on here is the only way I can explain how I feel right now.

Iv ebf for 8 months now and loved it. Every second, even the nights on little sleep.

Lately Iv felt at night my baby is waking too often through the night and that maybe he's still hungry. He eats 3 good meals every day now and is still bf on demand. But from putting him down he will wake constantly through the night.
I decided to defrost some of my milk stash and the other night, gave him a bottle.
I cried.
I missed our bed time feed.

He slept soundly from 7pm -2am... probably the longest he's done since he was tiny. I fed him and from 3am he only woke twice and then woke up properly at 6am.

I think maybe the bottle did what I needed it to do for him. But I feel so guilty. He's obviously not getting enough of a feed from me at bed time. I'm worried that my milk will slowly stop if I'm pumping and not breastfeeding.

I don't want him to loose the bond with me. It's such a special time for me and him.

Has anyone else felt this way? I really don't want to introduce formula. So will keep pumping as much as I can. I don't know if there is a way to increase my milk supply?

If anyone has any ideas? Tips? Or their story to share I would appreciate it a lot.
Thank you.

I’m no expert about bfing beyond my own experience but if he’s done OK for 8 months and you haven’t done anything to reduce your supply it seems unlikely that you aren’t making enough milk. But you can take fenugreek if you like.
It sounds like he maybe feeds to sleep and so asks for milk when he wakes up because he can’t self-soothe and get back to sleep on his own. If he can learn to fall asleep he won’t need you to help him in the night.

I still breastfeed at 12 months. As soon as I stopped night feeds he slept through! Isn't bottle related I don't think. I think when they know they won't get boob they sleep! So don't feel like you have to bottle feed, but obviously if you do it doesn't matter at all, baby is still getting all the nutrients they need!

It sounds like this is really affecting you. I'm a breastfeeding peer supporter so I hope I can give you some useful information.

I just want to reassure you that babies wake up for all sorts of reasons and that breastfed babies take in the amount of milk that they need - they regulate their own intake. This is less common when bottle feeding.

It's extremely unlikely that your baby isn't getting enough from you if you've already managed 8 months. Bf babies feed little and often, on average.

Also, it's very, very normal for breastfed babies (and FF babies) to wake frequently. It's not always a sign of hunger.

The long stretch of sleep could have been a coincidence.

My son woke every 1.5-2 hours until he was 2.5 (when I night-weaned him - though this is not recommended for babies under 12-18m)!

This might be useful: kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/

Hang in there

Have faith in your supply. To have got to 8 months is amazing. Remember that what you're able to pump is no indication of what your little one is getting, your DS will be much more efficient than any pump.
Also bottle feeding is so different, bottle fed babies tend to drink more because of the faster flow. It doesn't mean he needs that much.
If there was a magic formula for good sleep, I certainly haven't found it. It sounds like you really enjoy breastfeeding, please dont think that switching to bottles would guarantee better sleep.

I wonder if you could feed him yourself when you feel like it and in the times you do use the bottle to feed him the milk you could pump before you go to bed at 10/11 whenever. That way you’re keeping up your supply and keeping the freezer stash going. Getting milk from a bottle is more functional and fast so he probably got in one bottle the same as he would’ve from 2/3 sleepy feeds. He then slept as he was fuller and maybe wakening for a bottle wasn’t as tempting as a cozy boob. Which is totally fine. He slept and was fed and happy and it was your milk still so it’s all good.
Try to just find a balance that works for you. Even when he is only having one feed a day it can still be special for you both. You’ve done fab to get this far don’t doubt yourself now.

Hi. My Lo is 11 mths and bf and I'm getting to the stage where I'm trying to wean her off it. It's proving quite difficult! I'm sure with my other 2, I just gradually replaced feeds with bottles until my supply dropped and they were weaned off. This one seems to rely on bfing a lot more to settle to sleep. We introduced a bottle at about 6 months at bedtime as sometimes I'm out with my other dd for activities in the evening and Lo's dad needed to be able to look after her and hopefully settle her. She's taken a bottle since 6 mths, to start with ebm and then formula because where my supply had regulated and was more efficient, I couldn't pump enough. I also didn't have time and half the time she wouldn't drink it all so it's wasted. Anyway, for her the bottle doesn't make any difference to how long she sleeps, she still wakes at least twice in the night and requires bf to get back to sleep. She eats plenty of food and snacks in the day and drinks water from a beaker so I don't think it's hunger. And sometimes when her dad looks after her, she stays awake until I get back! Sometimes crying, but sometimes not. I'm starting to get run down and exhausted as much as I love bf. I think when I stop it, she might not wake as much in the night. Not saying you should stop atall, just saying that the bottle might not guarantee he sleeps! It didn't affect my supply giving one bottle a day but then I've always seemed to have plenty of milk.