How has your childhood affected how you bring up your children?

[bohemianbint]

I'm curious, as it's struck me recently that my crappy childhood has come back to haunt me and I am doing the exact opposite to what my parents did, on the whole...

Yes

my mother had violent unpredicatable rages

was terrifying

hence not much shouting and lots of cuddles chez Enid

Hi,

My childhood was very enjoyable and I think my parents did a good job

However, one thing I will not do to DD (or any further DCs) is record her (on DVD/video/whatever) while she is playing and unaware.

I was an only child and my parents thought it a good idea to record me playing with my dolls house, when I was about 7 or so without me knowing...I remember being very angry, even though it might seem really trivial, to this day, if anyone tries to record me on film (or, less likely these days, tape) and I'm unaware, it really stresses me out . I had real problems a few years ago while attending a training course on making a presentation...

similar to Enid. Sometimes when I am cross I start to hear that same tone coming out of my mouth, which isn't good. I am a bit of a wuss with my two, partly as a result I think.

I will never drink alcohol when I am looking after my children. I will never emotionally, verbally or physically abuse my children.I will never tell my daughters that they are fat ( My mother always commented nastily on my weight and I was usually between a size 10-12 )

I will tell my children I love them every day,I will show them appropriate boundaries. I will praise and respect them as individuals.
Above all lots of cuddles every day

I love mytwopenceworth's post about the loorolls.

As for what sort of parent I am, I'm only 12 weeks in, but generally my memories of childhood are instructive in that I know exactly how I won't be bringing up my daughter. I will never hit her for any reason, I won't spend every evening in the pub, there won't be a nuclear holocaust if she should bring home a less than glowing school report, I won't bully her to the point of breakdown to to get straight As in her GCSEs and A-Levels.

This was all my dad, mind you. My mum though - looking back, I reckon she was depressed for the better part of 20 years. Very emotionally withdrawn, irritable, exasperated and tired all the time. She worked extremely hard, but never spent any money on herself, and never seemed to have any time to herself. I love her dearly and am so indebted to her for the sacrifices she made for me and my brother. On the other hand, if I've learned one thing from her it's that if things should go tits-up between me and my husband, I won't stay married to him for the sake of our children - the upheaval of a divorce has to be much less bad for a child's emotional wellbeing than years of slow-burn friction and resentment.

Great post lazyemma.