14 month old development worries

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Hi all.
Firstly i just want to say i am in no way comparing my child or slating him in any way, i love him very much regardless of anything.
I just have some worries, and health visitor seems no use! Have spoken to two health visitors about my concerns and they just base everything on teething.
My little boy is 14 months old, will be 15 months soon. He has been walking from a young age around 9 months and is fine in all physical development. Thare are just a few certain things that i am worried about, firsty, he can not say any words, he used to babble, but very little and would only say dddd. But he has since stopped that aswell, he only really makes screaming or shouting noises, but he crys alot and moans an awful lot too. He also does not respond to his name, although i know he can hear as if i say something that hes interested in such as “no more monkeys jumping on the bed” he will look at me and maybe give me a smile. When we sit down and play i have tried so many things to get him to share, but he doesnt understand what it means to give something back, i put my hand out and say please but he doesnt understand, i try things like putting the phone to my ear and pretending to talk but he wont follow me at all he just likes to press the buttons. I have been trying for a long time to get him to wave goodbye at the door and i constantly show him how to do so but he doesnt understand the concept of this either, although he is intellegent in other aspects such as he can point to the ceiling and clap when i sing “wind the bobbin up”, and he will also clap my hands when i sing “pat-a-cake”, so i know he does understad when he watches me do something. He does not like playing with other children and im not sure why as i allways take him to play groups and have lots of play dates but he just ignores them, if he wants to get past he just pushes them and he takes anything they are playing with off them, i tell him no firmly but he just looks right through me. I am really struggling to take him around to other peoples homes because all he does is scream and cry untill we get back home. He doesnt like shouting from loud people, my dad shouted the other day and he was hysterical, sobbing. He is very clingy and doesnt like to go to others. He also loves wheels on pushchairs, blankets and anything related to the kitchen, and seems to get angry when you try to take him away from them.
Here is another of my concerns, meal times. I am really struggling to get him to eat solid food, he will only eat food that has been completely blended, I try relentlessly to get him to eat foods on his own like dinners all chopped up on his high chair or finger foods but he does not take to them he throws them on the floor and screams, i have tried giving him lumps in his food ( and i do most days ) and end up throwing it and having to make something else to make sure he has ate, if he finds a lump he pulls it out of his mouth and throws it and cries and will then refuse any more food. He will eat toast etc but it will have to be in small torn off bits, he will also eat sandwiches and everything else as long as it it cut into small bits, rather than taking a bite out of things he just puts it all into his mouth and nearly chokes.
I would just like to know if this is normal for his age really, any advice is welcome.
Thanks

Sorry about the long post! So much to fit into one post!

My niece didn't talk at all until she was two and then said whole sentences . Some kids are like that. She's fine academically speaking (now 9 years old).

Any sort of regression should be mentioned to HV as first port of call. Not to put ideas in your head but my son was saying several words at around 12 month. Seemed on track if not ever so slightly behind but everything was ok. Soon as he hit 12/13 months he regressed badly. This continued to get worse and transpires he has a gross developmental delay and autism. Always mention to HV if your worried.

Some kids leap ahead rather than progressing gradually. My child didnt call me Mum until he was 3 and can talk very well now, his understanding is excellent and he is now exceeding in his reception class.
Your son is so young I wouldnt worry at all yet.

Imacliche, i have already been to the health visitors about it but they just say its probably because hes teething and in pain. But i have now booked a development check so hopefully they will be able to give me some advice, just thought i would pop on here for some advice before hand as im getting worried. Thank you :-)

Mine is about a month younger than yours. He gives you things, he likes other children and he eats lumpy food. But he can’t walk, speak or wave, and he also doesn’t like shouting (who does?!) Imo it’s all in the normal range of development for this age group.

Mine is also a month younger. I would book a GP appointment to discuss your concerns, if you feel the health visitors are being dismissive. Maybe your GP can either reassure you or refer you to a specialist.

Two more thoughts- how many languages do you speak in the home?

And around 1 year old they should be eating by themselves, apparently. We were also having issues with food refusal etc. Have you tried a completely different approach? Ie dinner with the family, give him a selection of cut up foods (offer a plate for example so he chooses), no pressure, model the eating behaviour yourselves. It's revolutionised our meal times. Maybe try that for 3 days and see whether anything changes?

Thanks for the advice, if i am still worried after the HV developmental check then i will be in touch with my GP. Also, there is only one language spoken at home. And yes i have tried lots of things to get him to eat finger foods and a variety, he allways eats at family meal times and i have tried lots of different foods, and gave him the choice of what he would like to eat, but he throws them all. Not sure what is up in regards to eating, but i shall soon ask the HV and see what they have to say. This will be a different HV so i really hope she/he will be more helpful.

I have a 15 month old and to be honest, this all sounds pretty normal to me!

Ahh we're just coming out the other side of a throwing phase... I hope! Everything was on the floor, it hurt me to throw away so much food. Urgh. Good luck! I hope the developmental check will prove reassuring.

Thank you! How are your 15 month olds with there speech? Do you think it is normal for my 14 month old to not say any words yet? I have had mixed opinions some say it is normal and others say its not.

From memory at our 11-13m check, that is below expectations, but it definitely doesn't mean he won't catch up! My DS doesn't use any words yet - lots of babbling and noises, recognises his name and other words like "ball", sometimes makes "woof-woof" noises at dogs... But we speak 3 languages- one from me, one from dad and another between me and his dad. So we are expecting speech delays- hence my question about how many languages you use.

My 3yo didn't start talking until 18m, not even mum. After 18m so many words and sentences quickly came. I couldn't believe what she knew, colours/parts of the body/animals

I would definitely agree with taking him for a developmental check. The other thing is getting his hearing tested. He could have glue ear and be in pain/ not be able to hear would also affect his speech.
He may well catch up, but there is enough in your post to warrant further intervention. Good luck.

I would Google your local area and speech and language - there should be an advice line number for parents. I would call and say you have concerns, and emphasise the difficulties he has eating solid foods in particular - including the choking on foods.

My 14 month old is pretty similar to this. He does understand giving things but does quickly snatch them back. He says dada, mama and hiya but that is literally it. He isn’t a big talker and only babbles in dribs and drabs.
He’s my first so I don’t have anything to compare too, but I’m not worried, I can see he is developing and they all do things in their own time.
If HVs are happy I would be comfortable with that, but only you can decide for you and your LO.

Just looking at your OP again, I wouldn't (aha, but I am not a professional!) be concerned about him not sharing or playing with other children. As far as I know children play in parallel until the age of around 3. Just gentle encouragement or physically moving him a bit so he doesn't shove them out of the way should be fine. Likewise I'm not surprised he was hysterical at someone shouting, he was probably terrified! He won't equate his own shouting with an adult yelling.

Going back to the food thing, if you're giving in and giving him things that he likes, that may be part of the issue. He knows that if he refuses, he gets "nice" food (we had this issue too recently and had to toughen up. I'm not judging!). In your position I'd do 48-72hs of what I suggested earlier, and if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. Just make sure he has milk and water available. You need to look at what children eat over a week rather than daily, as they are good at self moderating, at that age. Obviously don't push it for more than 48hs if you're really getting nowhere, because maybe it is an issue with his mouth/throat, and you don't want him to get poorly!

If someone with medical expertise (or your GP) disagrees with my advice, please do ignore! But that's what I'd do, in your shoes.

Thanks for the advice! Also, just to clarify my dad wasnt shouting at him, he just shouted something to my mom who was in the kitchen, and it really startled him, he was sobbing. But even so, it was probably just shock.

I think some of the concerns you raise are completely typical developmentally for his age, such as not wanting to play with peers and not having any words yet. However, without wanting to worry you I would recommend you follow your instincts and see your GP, outline your concerns, you know him better than anyone. If your GP recommendsan assessment there may be a long waiting list so there is no harm in getting on it.

Things like limited responses to social cues, (his name, eye contact, responding to your requests) possible sensory distress at solid food, loud noises, and the preference for very familiar places, resistance to change (giving up his favourite toys, unfamiliar places) with marked distress are all typical in isolation, but all happening together may be an indicator of delay or neurodiverse development.

I have several years experience working with children with ASC and learning difficulties but I don't work on a diagnostic team. If there is anything to be concerned about, the earlier intervention you receive, the better.

You sound like a great parent and really on the ball.

I do think that a mum's instinct should not be ignored. My HV dismissed my concerns (as did many other professionals). I self referred to the speech and language therapist in the first instance and then when he was older I convinced the GP to refer to a paediatrician. I would look at the 'Talking point' website for a progress checker and useful information, if you are still concerned then see if you can self refer to the speech therapist. Ours see children in two weeks for an initial assessment and if there are no concerns then you have lost nothing however early help can make a huge difference if your concerns are warranted.

Having had two kids, one with delayed speech, there's nothing in your OP that has any red flags to me. The only thing I would say is about refusing to eat solid food. But like other PP have mentioned, I wonder how much that would change if perhaps you didn't offer him any alternative.

Do get him checked if your concerned but so much of what you describe is within normal range of a child that age.

Don't worry, I didn't think he had shouted at him! Hope you can get some helpful advice, agree with pp that it's better to get checked out and start interventions sooner rather than later. Keep us posted!

Thanks all, i will update following Hv developmental check x

He sounds pretty normal to me, but as everyone else says it's always worth getting him checked out if you're worried.

It does sound like you're quite intense with him, trying to get him to wave/to share/to speak/to play/to eat lumps. You may need to just relax a little bit and follow his lead. Rather than trying over and over to get him to pretend to use a phone, press the buttons with him if that's what he wants to do. If he doesn't want to wave, fine. You can wave and model it for him, but if you're saying 'wave DS, go on wave, wave goodbye, wave DS, look like this, come on wave' it might just be too much for him!