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Siblings constantly fighting

7 replies

SheisMammyof2 · 11/03/2019 17:07

Hi, I'm just wondering how other families deal with siblings fighting. DS 11 and DS 9 are constantly bickering with each other over every little thing and it regularly becomes physical, usually just a quick punch or shove as DH or I shut it down quickly. Punishment for physical fighting includes being sent to their room or screentime bans. This kind of thing is annoying but I kind of know how to handle it. What I can't figure out how to deal with is DS 11's complete intolerance of DS 9. A lot of the time he can't bear to be in the same room as him. Everything annoys him from his sniffling, to the way he shuffles his feet, his humming or singing to himself, the sound of him eating! He goes into a rage, shouts at him to stop and stomps out of the room banging doors. Sometimes I know DS9 deliberately goads him, but a lot of time he's just being himself. It really upsets DS9 that everything about him annoys DS11. I'm at a loss as to how to deal with it. I've tried talking to DS11 about how he's making his brother feel but he doesn't alter his behavior. I've tried punishing him, but he just thinks it's so unfair as he feels he genuinely can't help it. I did consider it was a sensory issue, but it literally only manifests in relation to DS9. I don't want to tell DS9 that he has to alter his reasonable behavior in his own house, but sometimes I just tell him to give it a break for some peace. Sorry for the essay. Any suggestions? Thanks.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
reallygrumpytonight · 11/03/2019 17:11

Wait, did I write this?
My 'dc' are exactly the same to the point of reducing me to tears. I have no advice as everything I've tried (even threatening me and dh split up and we live apart with a child each) has worked.

YepImafraidImgivingmyopinion · 11/03/2019 17:15

Omg! I could've have written. Exact ages too!

I'm at a loss with mine.

SheisMammyof2 · 11/03/2019 17:51

Well ye're a great help! Grin Nice to know I'm not alone though.

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10IAR · 11/03/2019 17:53

DS1 is like this with DD. Honestly, I've found giving them both their own space a lot of the time is the only way. I'm hoping it gets better as they get older.

SheisMammyof2 · 11/03/2019 20:48

10IAR yes we do have to separate them a lot, but it would be nice to be able to have the whole family in the same room occasionally.

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TigerQuoll · 12/03/2019 07:07

Do something terribly unfair to both of them so they band together against you! If you have siblings, you can probably draw from your own memories.

10IAR · 12/03/2019 07:11

Aye I'm hoping we can manage that at some point. That said they're all happily round the table munching breakfast this morning. Yesterday was an entirely different story 😂

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