6-8 week growth spurt? Any light at the end of this sleepless tunnel?

[RoyalGalas]

Looking for some hair-strokes and hand-holds from experienced Mamas!

My daughter is 8 weeks old and is going through what is - I hope - a growth spurt/sleep regression. Problem is, she's been like this since week 6. She has been an absolute sunshine baby - docile, easy to sleep, an early smiler, not much of a crier. Her weight gain is good - just over an ounce a day.

Until we hit Week Six. Now, she's refusing daytime naps unless in the sling or pram, when she's awake she's miserable wherever she is - in my arms, on her mat, in her bouncer. Unless I'm walking around holding her, she's grumpy. Her sleep at night was pretty good - up at midnight, 3ish, 6ish and straight back down. She's now going to midnight and then up every hour or so, feeds for about 3 minutes (I'm BF, but on the verge of giving up), then back to sleep if we're lucky. By 5am I give up, and have her sleep on me for an hour or so. I'm a wreck, and the exhaustion is having an impact on my mental health. I have risk factors for PND and, while everything has been wonderful so far, I'm terrified that I'm going to end up in a spiral and I can feel it starting to creep in.

I'm being a bit more disciplined with her feeds during the day as they were pretty chaotic - I'm now feeding her 2.5/3 hourly, where before I was feeding her anywhere from every 30 minutes to every 4 hours. Too early to say if it's making any difference to her, but I at least feel slightly less like a hostage.

Someone please tell me this is temporary?! I'm worried that I've inadvertently done/doing something wrong and have set her back (I'm very anxious, is it obvious?!). Does this end?

Things change so much and so regularly with a baby’s sleep. It’s never linear. And it’s never something you’ve done! I have an 8 week old (my third baby) and 2 weeks ago I was sobbing that he’d never sleep past 4am in his crib (I was having to have him on my chest after that). Guess what? The past 3 days he’s slept in his crib until 6.30.
I think that as it’s my third time now I’m more ‘relaxed’ abour the various phases as I know it’s just that... a phase. Also, do what works! Mine doesn’t nap in the day if we’re at home, so we go out a lot. Even if the last thing I feel like doing is traipsing the streets with him in his pram I drag myself out as I know he’ll be happier for the sleep and the fresh air and lack of whinging will help me!
You’ve not done anything wrong. It’s a phase. Honestly.

@SoyDora thank you - this is just what I needed to hear! I'll try to relax a bit and take some of the pressure off myself (and her!) - will just do whatever gets us through.

You're right about going out - I've been dragging myself out whatever the weather every afternoon to get her to have a decent nap. I think the fresh air and change of scene is probably helping me more than I realise.

Of course it will not always be like this but you need to be mentally prepared that it might be for a while. Or that it’ll get better and then worse again. Try to keep busy in the day - go out to baby groups and pass the time out and about. At night just push through, try to take joy in comforting baby with the boob. Try to ride the sleep deprivation with pride that you are able to function the following day.

Do you have a partner that can take baby in morning or help with the evening cluster feeds (hold baby between feeds).

And it is totally totally normal. Another thing I sometimes tell myself is a baby that wakes up frequently at night is much much less likely to suffer from
SIDS. Also my experience is “vibrant” babies turn into vibrant people (again maybe something I just try to tell myself to get through the 10th wake up of the night).

My DD didn't really grow out of this although was like this from about 2 weeks and I ended up stopping BF entirely by 10 weeks but that was due to pain and nipple damage that no amount of professionals could correct. Ooh apart from her night time sleep was pretty good from birth really until it went a bit dodgy at 4 months ish. But it's all normal. She's 8 months and still hardly naps and every nap is a battle, and she cries a loooooot still and I've come to terms with the fact that she's never going to be a chilled baby lol. But she does better if we are out and about as she often sleeps in the pushchair on walks and then enjoys the stimulation of baby groups. I know your LO is tiny and won't get much/anything out of baby groups yet, I went to my first when DD was 9 weeks old and OMG it did me the world of good. It was a baby time at the children's centre for under 1s. Look at what's going on near you and try to get yourselves out a bit, it will really help. You're doing great and as Soy says, literally everything is a phase, they change all the time often for no discernible reason and tis usually not anything we have done or can understand, the tough parts usually just need riding out.

In my experience I would say that 8 weeks is very early to be interfering with your baby trying to settle into a pattern. I totally understand that weeks feel like eons at this stage but from the other side it really is a very short time. My advice, such as it is, is to stop looking at clocks and to go with the flow feeding wise. Your only jobs at the moment are to look after your child ( which by all measurements you are doing very well) and yourself ( daily walks, food , rest etc) as best you can. Everything sounds as if it is going well. Best of luck

Thanks everyone. Having a terrible day today - I've put so much pressure on myself about what she "should" be doing (stupid, I know) that I've ended up feeling totally overwhelmed. Feeling too anxious to go to baby groups etc, although I know I ought to. If I could just get a decent stretch of uninterrupted sleep, I think I'd be able to get some perspective, but I'm absolutely exhausted. I can see why sleep deprivation is a torture method! Will heed advice to look after myself - definitely not doing enough of that. Thanks all for the kind words and encouragement - this too shall pass, right?!

for you, it’s so bloody hard. I could tell you until I’m blue in the face that there’s no ‘should’ where babies and sleep are concerned, but it wouldn’t make you feel any better in this moment I know.
Sleep deprivation is torture. If there is any possible way you can get a break, take it.