Help! Breastfeeding and dummies/ expressed bottle

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Hoping some of you veteran parents can help an exhausted ftm. My dd is nearly 4 weeks old. She’s exclusively breastfed. She also doesn’t sleep well at all. We get maybe 4 hours at night and maybe 2 hours nap in the day which is spread out through the whole day. She likes to fight sleep and is easily woken. I’d really like to give her a dummy and start expressing a few feeds so my dh can feed her and I can rest. I spoke to a breastfeeding support worker and she was dead against it until 6 weeks. The problem is I don’t think I can manage until then. She sucks for comfort but as I have an oversupply issue she ends up drinking loads and then throwing up as she’s to full or ends up full of wind as she’s not sucking to feed really. Has anyone got any positive stories of giving breastfed babies dummies/ bottles and not had them refuse the breast the rest of the time?

Not so much bottles but a dummy saved my sanity with DD1. I started offering her one from the get-go really and she accepted it quite readily with no impact on breastfeeding. Unfortunately DD2 wouldn’t take one for life nor money and her poor sleep and intense breastfeeding requirements nearly broke me!

I took a dummy in my hospital bag!! Bf all my dc and most had a dummy. We used the MAM 0-2 month size ones. And the MAM bottles that sterilise in the microwave.

Thank you so much ladies!! The breastfeeding supporter really put me off my plan as she was saying how she’d get confused then wouldn’t feed at all and my supply would dry up etc etc. I know they have to push breastfeeding but I think they should support parents in their plans as well.

I had oversupply, and DS at 6 weeks was perpetually feeding/ choking/ puking/ crying/ dozing/ whimpering and producing explosive green nappies from excessive lactose fermentation.
I was advised by a very experienced paediatrician to put him on an old-fashioned 4hrly schedule and to use a dummy in between. He improved in one day and my milk supply quickly dropped to his optimal level.

My DS is 7 weeks old and at 3 weeks we ended up in hospital with him projectile vomiting. The pediatrician said he was eating too much and didn’t need it and so was vomiting. He suggested a dummy, and to try and feed him every 3 hours in the day and however long he went at night. He said that if baby is constantly suckling for around 20 mins that’s enough each feed. So I got some dummy’s (mam) and started using it to settle him and he’s been fine! He took to three hourly feeds straight away and now is starting to go 3.5-4 hours. He can settle himself to sleep with the dummy and has been going 6-7 hours at night this past week. I was dead against a dummy as I felt I was failing, even still at baby groups I feel like I’m being judged, but it saved my sanity, anexiety and nipples!!!

As for a bottle my ds has had a bottle of formula or pumped probably every few days since week 1. We use tommee tippee or medela bottles and haven’t had a problem.

People who are breastfeeding supporters can be far too pushy, even nhs staff who are meant to be unbiased can be very judgemental, or at least appear judgemental to a worried mumma.

As long as your bub is growing you’re doing great, and if giving a dummy makes baby fussy on the boob you can always stop for a day or two and try a different one :)

@villainousbroodmare I’m glad someone else had the same advice I was given. When I asked about it at my feeding support group they all muttered about feeding on demand and milk drying up etc!!

Also OP I’ve been using an app called BabyFeedTimer since DS was born, it’s really good for tracking feeds and nappies and all sorts of bits. It’s free, but if you buy it (£5 I think) you can have it on multiple phones. So my husband can add things and I can see if he has done a nappy or given expressed in the evening etc.

Seconding Mam - bottles and dummies worked great for us. Got a dummy in panic on day 3 as she just cried and cried and my nipples were killing me and it's been fine. She's now EBF at 5 months and takes one or 2 bottles a week from my partner so I can go out for longer than a few hours. Still has a dummy at night or to tide her over while she's grizzling ready for a feed.

I'm actually really happy she takes one as the evidence shows there is an association with reduced SIDS rates in babies who have a dummy at night

ps1991 it does reduce your milk supply, but that's what was needed!
I have twins now, and I had enough milk to ebf both to 6mo with no need of breast pads, pumping or any of that extra hassle. For one baby I just had too much milk.

Yes, me - I really really struggled with BF, mostly because it was absolute agony for me. DH gave the odd bottle of expressed milk from 2 weeks old and we also introduced a dummy at that time. I say 'odd' - the first week it was literally just 2 bottles in the week and then we gradually increased it to a few a week and so on, eventually introduced some formula too at 6 weeks and then I would say the bottles started to interfere with BF at about 9 weeks when she was sort of half on bottles and half BF and as a result I stopped BF after 10 weeks as it became a huge battle but I was intentionally weaning her onto formula anyway as BF was too painful for me and my nipples are permanently scarred as a result of the damage that was caused (had lots of support from HCPs and BF support workers but nobody could figure out how to fix it). So I would say as long as baby is mostly BF, they will be absolutely fine with a bottle. With dummy, we introduced around 2 weeks old as she had started her inconsolable crying fits by then and it was that or BF to stop it, and as I BF was agony for me and she was already feeding for most of each day, sometimes I just needed 20 minutes without hysterical screaming and without severe pain feeding her. We gradually increased its use but until I stopped BF at around 10 weeks we mostly just used it at a night to settle her if I'd already fed her off both sides (or if she'd already had a bottle), and if we were out and she'd not long had a feed so I knew she wasn't hungry. So if I was at home with her then I would mostly just keep her on the boob if she cried so she wasn't having the dummy tons, but it didn't interfere at all with BF. We increased dummy usage loads after I stopped BF. The BF support workers I saw were all really helpful and did help me BF longer than if I hadn't had the support, however like you say they were all really negative about dummies, bottles, and expressing, when those things actually helped me BF longer than I would have if I hadn't have done them. If I couldn't have expressed the odd bottle at 2 weeks I would have stopped BF then and there, I literally got through feeding her by thinking tonight/tomorrow/in 2 days time (as it was so infrequent at first) DH will give her a bottle and I can have a longer stretch of sleep and rest my scarred nipples, it was all that got me through it, I'm not exageratting.

DM combi-fed me from 10 days old, and that was mostly BF in the day and only formula at night, and did similar with my DSis and DB from birth and it didn't affect her BF any of us. DSis also had a dummy from birth.

Mam bottles and dummies are good and NUK are suppose to be. I hate to be the one to break it but at 4 weeks that is good sleep for a baby

We've been breastfeeding and topping up with formula since day 3 (now near six weeks). We think around 70% of his intake is breast (based on expressed volumes) and haven't seen any issues with him not going for one or the other.

I would say go for it! Start expressing and theres no harm in a dummy if you think it could work for her. I'm a Ftm of ds who is 6 weeks today and I've learnt There's no right or wrong!

Due to baby having jaundice and losing a bit too much weight, the midwives at hospital put Ds on a feeding plan and we have continued with it and it's naturally evolved. Ds enjoyed the suck on breast but wasn't taking in enough milk so we are on a combination feed half formula half breast milk. I express milk 3 Times a day and feed him through a bottle so I know the exact volumes he's taking in.

I only put him on the breast once a day but it's enough for us to bond. It works for us. My main priority is Ds getting enough milk and putting on weight, and sleeping well. We are following Gina Ford and so far it's working, Ds slept through from 7.30pm - 1am, fed, then slept through to 6am. I'm convinced this is because he's taking his breast milk from the bottle and getting enough to fulfil him (and getting that important hind mind) so he sleeps well. But I digress!

I had so many midwives tell me baby would get confused between nipple and bottle etc and that a dummy would be bad as we would miss his feeding cues. It did worry me but baby has been absolutely fine and easily goes from Nipple to bottle, now it's such a relief he can fulfil his need to suck with the dummy, and also take in feeds from my partner too!

The point of my long ramble is just do whatever is best for you and there's no harm in trying things out.

So many helpful comments, thank you everyone. We tried the Tommy tipee soother last night, she gagged and spat it straight out!! We’ve got a few different brands to try so fingers crossed one suits her! Going to sterilise bottles and pump today and see what we can do. Last night was rough as we only got 4 hours sleep broken into 3 hours then awake for 2 hours then back to sleep for another 1 hour 🤯😴😵🥴☕️

Mine is 8 weeks and BF but we’ve been using a dummy and a bottle of expressed milk since day 1. I made a conscious decision to do this as my first two DC were complete dummy and bottle refusers by the time I offered them at around 8 weeks and to be honest it nearly broke me.
Absolutely no supply issues, and it has worked really well for us.

I'd recommend mam as a brand to try, for bottles and dummies. Had a reputation for being good for combined feeding, and you can sterilise a single bottle in the microwave without needing any more equipment! Also if you do want to introduce a bottle, bottle refusing can be a concern. My own view would be to introduce it now, not wait until 6wks. Dd1 refused a bottle and it caused a lot of problems. Dd2 I introduced it too early I think and caused difficulties that way. 4wks could be the sweet spot? Friends who did it at that age combo fed successfully for 18mths, and kept up bf a lot longer than I did as a result!

We use Phillips Avent bottles and their 'natural' teats, and their dummies, DD took to them both straight away.

You do have to offer the dummy repeatedly and do so when the baby is in good form, not already upset.

Glad you've tried a dummy! Firstly, sleep wise I think everything is pretty normal for four weeks old (sorry!!) So please don't feel that your doing anything wrong here.

Ultimately as long as your baby is fed, whatever combination this is will be perfect for them. You need rest and expressing for night feeds or so you can get out of the house is a great idea and ultimately will lead to happier better rested parents. We used a dummy and if baby was still crying then fed him, however if he just needed to suck he would drift off. It also then in the longer run helped us recognise his hunger cues better. At 6 weeks you are definitely well established with BF and it should have no effect.

Tips:

Get a Hakka or similar to collect let down milk when feeding from the other breast, sometimes this can be a good 50mls and every little counts!

If pumping longer term an electric pump is amazing and normally can be rented, you will however feel like a milking cow

You might have to try a few brands of bottle/dummy, just ensure dummies are othodontic.

If stuck you can use your little finger for baby to suck on if you think they aren't hungry and just want to suck to save your nips!

Main & most important one.........do whatever gets you through this very hard and new phase of your life, trust your instincts and never feel like you've let anyone down or done the wrong thing. You do what is needed at the time to keep you all fed, warm and healthy.

We had a very sucky baby and a dummy was a godsend, and you'll find that the majority of other parents bar those with babies who refuse dummies will say the same thing - everyone in baby groups when your new parents are thinking they are being judged by the others, just be brave and be the one who does what they need to do and others will soon follow your lead breathing a sigh of relief!!!

Good luck x

Sat here in tears at all the positive comments. Sometimes it’s hard to trust your instincts. Thank you all again 🥰