Child seeks sensory stimuli and playing rough. How to deal with it?

[KatherineCam]

Hi! My 6 y.o. boy always liked rough surfaces like pushing his face against a palm of my hand or even my nails or sliding on carpet face forward etc. It comes and goes in waves but he is definitely seeking pressure and similar sensations.
When he was younger it was more pronounced but even now I can see him doing things that will give him this rough sensation. While he is still 6 it doesn't look too weird but it will be less acceptable as he grows up.

However what really bothers me is that any of his interactions with his brother or other children involves him touching, hugging and pushing them around. Perhaps he doesn't feel it as rough as his sensations are lowered. However it causes him problems at school as teacher had to have regular "talks" with him in order to stop touching other students.

I say to my son constantly "please stop touching your brother. If you want him to do something, just say". However it makes no difference in my son's behaviour. He is almost like a blind and mute person who needs to touch things in order to move around and to communicate.

I would appreciate any thoughts or strategies that will help him to stop interacting with others by pushing and touching.

I would highly recommend an occupational therapist for sensory issues. They have so many fun techniques up their sleeves!

Otherwise, consider a weighted blanket, a sensory wristband that he could rub on his face, maybe a pillow case quilted out of various fabrics.

I was not able to find occupational therapist. Basically our son does not qualify for the one on NHS and we don't have any private ones where we live. There is a private clinic miles away but it deals with kids with massive behavioural issues.

I considered weighed blanket. Perhaps I should buy one.
Do you know of any strategies on how to teach him to respect other people space and stop touching them? When I tell him straight forward it makes no difference. :(:(

Is there pastoral support at school? They might be able to advise or help.

My son is like this - may I ask why you don't qualify on the nhs we were referred by our gp there're was a long waiting list but it was worth its weight in gold when we got seen finally

I think you have to just keep telling him.

Most six year olds don't have a full understanding of other people's personal space. It's because they don't have a full understanding of other people! It's still almost all about them and their needs. Most children do mature out of that.

You just need to keep repeating the same message. Talk to him about why he mustn't do it, about how the other person feels, about how he would feel if someone touched him when he didn't want them to etc. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

You could try role playing with puppets/teddies/Lego men to help him play out/try and understand the problem. Maybe look for some videos around the idea of respecting personal space. It's the sort of thing sesame Street or similar would address.

You can help him to identify his own behaviour and needs e.g. I think you need to squeeze something right now! You can't squeeze your brother, let's get your squeeze ball/playdough/fidget spinner and do that for a while.

I would also, where possible physically move him away, rather than just using verbal cues. Take his hand and gently, but firmly lead him away, whilst repeating the 'you need to respect X's space Please'.

We were taken off early support year and halve ago. We were able to attend special classes aimed for kids with autism and other developmental/behavioural issues for about 4 months. But then we were told he is not bad enough to qualify further. Indeed compared to other kids in those classes my son just looked like someone who has no manners and was never told how to behave in public.

Our problem is that with all what I have said above he is not bad enough. He goes to normal school, he can read, write and do some math. However he hates certain sensations and loves others. He could not tolerate wet hands but will rub his face on the floor. He hates noise and high socks but will throw himself on a ground at any opportunity because he likes the feeling. From aside it may not even look odd, just child playing.

Last year it took a while for teachers to stop him lashing out and scratching himself every time they celebrated someone else b/day or given a "star" as he hated it was not him. They still struggle to stop him touching other students when they play. :(:(

Yet non of it warrants NHS attention, trust me I tried. We were seen by a specialist at our local hospital who basically said - it can go worse but it can also go better, only time will tell.

Sometime I feel that i live in a parallel reality - I am not sure where this beautiful GPs are. Our GP two years ago seeing my son running up and down doctor's room and climbing everywhere and snatching things said to me" your son is never going to be the same as his peers" End of story. The guy even has daughter same age as my son. That is how much compassion he has. All other GP's in our surgery are on rotation, they come and go and care even less.

NuffSaidSam, thank you for your recommendations. I think you are right. Part of the problem that he is at the age where they have little understanding of others feelings.

I once started pushing him and grabbing his shoulders in order to illustrate how others may feel when he does it to them. He only started to giggle seemingly enjoying it and seeing it as a game :(

Perhaps I need to look into different technics.

BTW what pastoral support? The school told us they will do everything to make sure my son comes to no harm. They will make sure the windows are shut and the trees on playground ar guarded by teacher so my son will not climb it. (He has little fear and climbs anything he sees.)

As for ant real support we were not qualified - you need to have two eyears of developmental delay, confirmed Asperger or Autism to get any SEN time...Please let me know where is this fairy land of caring teachers with loads of time to spare or GPs that don't want you to go away with your problems..

Sorry for the typos. I am really angry that we get 0 support and private options only exist in London ( the closest place). :(

I just looked at the weighted blankets - they are £75 for kids size. Does anybody seen results in reduction of sensory issues while using one on this?

That sounds exxy, sorry, I had no idea. Sounds like your little guy is a sensory seeker. What about compression sports wear under his clothes - the tight lyrca might feel like a constant hug? The kids hanging pod swing from IKEA looks good - a fabric cave for him to press against. You might find if you can get the squeezy input in before and after school, he is satisfied enough to leave other kids alone?

RamonaQuimbyAge48, thank you for your input. I did not think of underwear options. I am now planing to try all - weighted blanket, beanbag in his room and may be some sort of compression underwear.

But also plan to continue reminding him not to touch others. Again and again. I hope that eventually he will grow out of it. It just feels sometime that when you are in this "grey category" there is little professional support offered or even guidance. I feel that our GPs just keep pushing you away until you give up on seeing a specialist.

I can really understand your frustration as we had the same I would definitely go back to your gp and ask for a referral to the ot for sensory processing issues. It is a long road tho. I made our weighted blanket as I refused to pay £80 for one and my ds still uses it now. I can only give you a few tips that the ot used with us she found that ds was v responsive to deep pressure and so things like v deep pressure massages worked well as well as being wrapped up in a yoga mat - sounds bizarre but I've never seen his body relax so much.

Have a look for the book 'The Out of Sync Child'.

You can see if weighted things help with a home made weighted lap pad (pyjama case with beanbags or a bag of rice inside) or shoulder weight (scarf with pockets, put beanbags in pockets).

Deep pressure activities and any stretching or resistance might help. School can help by regularly asking him to go get something heavy or doing physical tasks.

Trampoline is often helpful.

HardAsSnails, all such good ideas and thank you for the book recommendation. Perhaps we can do more stretching and physical tasks with him like caring some shopping and helping put rice and sugar on to shelves. I think I will try weights as well.