Am I in the wrong ?

[3babyxx]

I'm not with my kids dad.
He lives far away so he has them at my house once a week for two days .

He shows up at anytime he wants.. it could be 11pm at night
He also shows up on random days
Either Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. Depending

I keep him blocked in the week on my phone . Because he never face times or calls to speak to the kids anyway ( if he did and wanted to do that I wouldt block him) also if there's an Emergancy about the kids of course I will call him . He literally says . How's kids. And that's it on a message
But when he has the kids at his house VERY RARE I do unblock him and FaceTime my kids every day because I want too.

When he brings them back I re block because as I said it's been years and he never calls them he'll ask a question about them and then not reply . Once he's blocked he calls me 50 + times which I ignore . Am I wrong for blocking him??

B

well...how would you know he is not calling for the kids when you have blocked him? And how is he calling 50+ times if he blocked?

You’re not wrong for blocking him but you are wrong for letting him turn up whatever day/time he feels! You seem to be setting very strong boundaries in one area and no boundaries at all in another. He needs to agree to a particular day/time he comes and stick to it

(Obviously he’s more wrong for doing it, but you need to set boundaries!)

@hickerydickerydockmouse

Because Iv gave him chances for the last year and half and he never has that's how I know he ain't calling them

And sometimes il leave him unblocked for a week just to test him too see if he will call and never does .

He can call because even though he is blocked he can still ring on private

@PippilottaLongstocking

I know it's just I feel like the kids will miss out other wise because my toddler does like to see him and over all he ain't a bad dad
But he needs to understand if he ain't gonna call the children we don't need to talk ..
he just starts arguments and i get threats

Send him a list of dc friendly venues nearby.
Send him acceptable TO YOU times to have the dc..
Don't answer the door at other times.
Ring the police if he continues to harass you.
You are enabling him to be a feckless df otherwise.

So why bother blocking him? Does he harass you? If so then yes block him but if not I don’t see why you’d bother with all the hassle blocking and unblocking.

I think you need to set a proper agreement for contact, this situation sounds insane. Him turning up at random times including very late at night (aren’t the kids in bed?) is surely the problem? But no I don’t think you are being unreasonable to block him if he’s harassing you, although I couldn’t work out from your OP if he’s calling you 50+ times a day or if he doesn’t call you at all.

Ok so basically he calls me 50 times a day but it'll be random. Then he sends me abusive emails .

He's been arrested before and had a restraining order for sending me threats and putting his hands on me .

Thats not why Iv blocked him though the main reason is he doesn't call the kids if he did I would leave him unblocked .
But right now he's blocked because all he does is send me abuse if I have unblocked him in the past . And he doesn't bother calling the kids

And hmmm if I tell him he ain't seeing the kids at mine he'll go mad and kick off .

sorry I wernt clear
He's calling to just go mad at me

He ain't calling 50 times a day for his kids lol