Postnatal boredom

[zo2go]

I'm a new mum of a beautiful, happy and healthy 3wo baby girl. Breastfeeding is going well, but I'm really struggling with the boredom, feeling of being chained to the couch, and lack of opportunity to achieve anything. 3 weeks has felt like 3 months!

I'm used to being a busy working adult managing a stressful job and using my brain. I've worked hard to get my degree and progress in my career. Now I'm on the couch lactating like a cow... I'm struggling with this new identity!

Any advice on how I can keep myself mentally stimulated when I can't put bubs down for more than 15 mins at a time? Has anyone else struggled to come to terms with their new role in life?

I guess you're lucky at least that breast feeding is going well at least.
You could listen to radio 4, podcasts, audiobooks, watch documentaries on Netflix/iPlayer. I read a lot as my son would only nap on me for months (well, over a year actually).
I tried to get my partner to have an adult conversation with me every day rather than just talking about the baby - so something about current affairs etc. Doesn't always work though, now h just mansplains work things to me.
It's hard adjusting, j totally hear you.

Also the usual Mumsnet advise to get a sling so you can get on with stuff, go for walks etc. I used to go to museums and for massive long walks.

I so hear you!
The lack of autonomy with a newborn drove me to tears more than a few times. Looking back it seems like a magical time but there was a hell of a lot of frustration too. There is only so long you can spend siting still and gazing adoringly down.

I got this adjustable table from Ikea and it was a godsend when stuck on the sofa breastfeeding for hours. goo.gl/images/ECjQHH

You can change the height so it's perfect for using a laptop or eating proper food without dropping any on the baby.

Looks like it's only available from amazon now.

I'm 8 months in now and I promise you do start to get some independence back eventually. I didn't love the newborn stage but am really enjoying motherhood now. It's different for everyone of course but, in my experience so far, it really does get better!!

I had one of those! A velcro baby that fed all the time and wouldn't be put down at all. It gets better. He's 5 months old now, will play in the play gym on his own for quite long periods of time and even has cot naps. However, I genuinely thought that I was going to get bedsores from sitting on the sofa at one point. I also struggled with the adjustment to being a mother - when having a wee counted as 'me time' and each day dragged, just waiting for 'daddy rescue' time with a crying baby. Now I'm really enjoying my mat leave and the time is flying by! It's OK not to be OK - go to your GPs/talk to your health visitor if you're feeling really down.

To trot out the typical mumsnet wisdom, it will pass! It seems like it's a lifetime, but you'll come out the other side eventually. Do whatever you can to survive the first 12 weeks. I tried to get out every day, preferably to see other adults. Things that you don't have to be there for an exact time are the best. I'm lucky that I have lots of friends on mat leave, but also made some new ones. Have you got a breastfeeding support group that you can go to? Even if the feeding's going well, it gives you some adults to talk to (and if you're lucky, a cup of tea and a cake). If you're feeling really tired, you can just listen to other adults having conversation...

I also second the sling! He would have a sling nap most lunchtimes so I could do stuff around the house - being able to fold laundry felt like such an achievement!

@polestar50 I have that table too! It's a bit rickety, so I have to move it further and further away as he gets bigger and stronger. However, I still dropped a lot of food on the baby in those early days (now he'll sit in his bouncer while we eat dinner, or I have my lunch during his lunchtime cot nap).

I spent the first 2 months of dds life feeling extremely low. Crying all the time and massively regretting having a baby. It was truly the worst time of my life. I went back to work when she was 13 weeks (scheduled before I had her) and now 9 months down the line, I love being a mum. It’s the best thing in the world. So I’m afraid no words of wisdom but it does get easier.