how honest are you with kids?

[smedrock]

how honest are you with your kids? i'm unhappy in our neighborhood at the moment -- i'd like to move somewhere better. we're also having trouble with loud neighbors so i'm stressed. i guess i realised today that the kids are picking up on my negativity. just when you think you've been doing well you realise parenting has no rule book!

so....how much do you tell the kids about whats really going on. My partner says we need to shelter them a lot more than i have been doing...I grew up with parents who told me nothing at all, ever, about anything emotional. in many ways it was great as everything always seemed fine. but maybe i've overcompensated by telling them too much. thoughts? kids are 7 & 9 btw

Depends what it is, don't think one rule covers every situation.

As a general guide I don't lie to my children and I am always honest, but they sometimes get the watered down version

it's mainly about being unhappy in the neighborhood -- i want them to be proud of where they come from even if i'm not super keen....

They get the age appropriate truth.

In your situation, something like 'Mummy is a bit stressed because it is so noisy where we live and so we might move somewhere nicer' would probably alleviate their own worries, if they know you're stressed and don't understand why.

We've talked about all sorts in similar age appropriate ways. Trust, death, sex, all of it explains in ways that the positive, useful lessons can be taken from.

I don’t think bald face lying is the way to go but it all depends on the ages of the children in question and what the kids are like ... I think some of my anxiety and unhappiness as a kid was because my parents weren’t honest and lied to protect us - kids aren’t stupid

thanks theknacktoflying

it's true.. kids are so perceptive!