2nd baby

[winedayfriday]

DH and I always envisaged having 2 kids and all going to plan, with around a 3 year age gap. That would mean starting to TTC shortly, but I just don't know anymore!

My DS is 2 and a bit but I honestly can't imagine another baby the now - going back to sleepless nights fills me with dread. Especially with not having the same luxuries as when DS was a baby - 'sleeping when they sleep' for example when there's a toddler to look after as well.

I had a lovely, uncomplicated pregnancy and DS is a dream (excluding normal terrible two tantrums and behaviours!), he sleeps well and is a lovely, social little boy. But I just can't imagine juggling day to day life with two or dividing my time/love. DH would happily have another but also happy if we stuck with just 1 - he shares my hesitations.

How did you decide when the time was right for no2 and are the early years as hard as I'm imagining?

Outside of the reservations of managing 2 younger kids, I know I'd regret not having another when DS gets older.

I have 2 but 13 months apart.

If it's a good day and everyone is happy it is the most wonderful existence I could have ever imagined.

But... throw in teething, childhood illnesses, general sleep issues and just babies being babies it turns out to be the hardest thing I've ever done.

I definitely don't regret my children, they are amazing, but if I'd really understood how taxing it would be I might not have had my 2nd or left a much bigger gap.

I had a 3 year age gap, it was difficult at times but soo worth it now because they play together and happy to do the same things. As for sleeping when 2 baby slept I never felt the need even with breastfeedings sleepy hormone. Eldest started nursery when baby was about 6 months

I'm 25 weeks pregnant with number 2 at the moment. There will be a 3 year age gap between them. I had a lot of the same reservations as you do but to be honest DD1 decided it for me. She is so very sociable, loves other children and constantly seeks them out wherever we are. I would take her to the park and there would be groups of siblings playing together she looks at them longingly and tries to join in with them which is a bit awkward! I just know she would love having another child at home so we just closed our eyes took the plunge and hoping it all works out ok!

What about waiting for a 4 year age gap so eldest is at school? Alternatively put toddler in nursery a bit, this seems a common coping strategy.

You don’t have to split the love, it just expands. You do of course have to split the time.

I’m due baby number 2 in August and there will be a 3 and a half year age gap. We wanted 2 and a half years but Mother Nature didn’t play ball.

I’m nervous too but I’m making arrangements now to hopefully help such as increasing days in nursery from 2 to 3 days (very cheap as using our 15 hours funding). If you can afford to keep your child in childcare (if they already go) I would recommend it. Gives you one to one time with baby, keeps eldest busy and keeps the place for/if you go back to work. I will only have a year with the 2 of them together and then eldest will start school.