Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

[Bernifal]

What are your tips/ideas on having a good relationship with your kids as they get older?

I don’t get on with my mum, and my dad passed when I was 14. My partner’s parents always manage to fall out with their 3 kids, as they’re very set in their ways.

I want to be the opposite of all of them. I want to foster trust, honesty, supportiveness, and fun. Do you think there’s a recipe for that, or do you think it’s up to chance a bit? I’m pregnant with my first.

This is more of a how not to but...

Don't let money become an issue. Be clear what your limitations are financially.

Don't over step your adult kids boundaries. If they are busy or can't/don't want to talk to you or tell you about something let it be, but also be there if they want to talk to you.

Basically, boundaries are important. They become increasingly important as kids get older.

Nobody ever thanks their parents for going through their stuff, reading their diary, checking their phone bill or their bank statements especially once they are adults. This is stalker territory regardless of whether you gave birth to them or not.

It helps if your nice to them and fun when they are little too

Plus nobody likes a drunk for a parent.

I have a great relationship with my parents. It's a cliche but the important thing is love. I always knew my parents adored me and would do anything for me. I wasn't spoilt in material ways, but I knew they would do anything they could do help me out or make me happy (they still would!).

Yes same as PP, not overly materialistic as they had not much money but always knew they were there for me and still are! Just unwavering support basically

One of my parents has thrown money at me at times but not love and is inconsistent
The other has not thrown money at me but has always shown love and is always there (consistent)
They are divorced. I am NC with one of them (I bet you can guess which).

I had a great relationship with DF until his death and still have a great one with DM.

They were very good at allowing our relationship to evolve from parent and child to adults on an equal footing. I think a lot of parents try and keep the dynamic the same as when their kids were children which is a recipe for disaster

Have always had a brilliant relationship with my mum.
She never had money when me and my sis were young but life was always fun. She played with us a lot, read to us and let us sit on her knee all the time. I remember the days out to theme parks or zoos fondly as they were so few and far between (I'm now early 30s).
When I got my teens she was very open with me and in return I was open back. I told her age 15 that I was going to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of 8 months. She wasn't happy but took me to the docs to get me on the pill and made sure I knew everything that was important.
She knew that as a teen I would do things with or without her permission, and she would rather know than not know so as hard as it was for her she sometimes just had to get her teeth and nod .
My friends were always the ones hanging around the shops asking strangers go buy them the cheap vodka to take to a house party, then lying through their teeth to their parents about where they were going and saying they were just at sleepovers etc.
My mum would go and buy me a bottle of something a lot less boozy, explain to me the implications of what could happen if I get wasted and arrange a time to pick me up and bring me home.
My friends were always worried that my mum would drop them in it with their parents so me and my mum had a mutual understanding of she wouldn't tell them unless they asked, in which case she wouldn't lie
I always have had a lot of respect for my mum. I don't swear in front of her and never will.
She never worked against me she just guided me which is what a parent should be like.

My dad on the other hand has always had a very different approach on parenting (the reason they split when in was 4). He was a complete dictator, we weren't allowed to smile or talk at the dinner table, if we didn't eat ALL of our dinner we got nothing else at all despite how much we hated the food. That just made me inherit a phobia of food and trying anything new which stuck with me till adulthood. We always walk never run, no sympathy if poorly, patronising, his way or the high way.
I speak to him on a fortnightly basis now but have never had much respect for him.

I take the bad and good experiences from both parents in hopes it'll make me into a really good parent!