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Original poster

So annoyed at school.

40 replies

BabyHugg · 04/03/2019 19:31

So...I'm getting married 12th March and all my children's schools have authorised the day of absence for them more than a month ago. On Friday my 16 year old came home with a letter from school saying that there is a school trip that day and he has to attend as a requirement and it is not an option. If he doesn't go he will be unable to answer part of his gcse exam as a result and will then not get the grade he needs to get on his college course. I have spoken to his teacher today and she has confirmed all of this. So my son has decided he has to go on the trip. I understand how important his education is and I'm so proud that he is taking it seriously but I'm absolutely heartbroken especially as he was supposed to be giving me away.
I'm annoyed that the school would leave a student without the skills to answer part of their exam question, what would happen if a student was poorly and couldn't go that day surely they have to have something in place to help these students? Would making a complaint higher up be beneficial or am I just fighting a losing battle?

OP posts:

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dementedpixie · 04/03/2019 19:33

Where is the trip to? Is it somewhere you can take him yourself?

RustyBear · 04/03/2019 19:33

Why did you decide to get married on a school day in your son's gcse year?

Stormwhale · 04/03/2019 19:34

I can't understand why you would book your wedding on a school day when your son is in such an important year.

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Missmarplesknitting · 04/03/2019 19:35

If it's geography then we have to provide evidence they've collected data first hand.

Your only other option is to take your child and do the trip yourselves. I've had parents do this.

If not, they risk dropping lots of marks.

ScrumptiousBears · 04/03/2019 19:36

I think you're more unreasonable than the school OP. If this was any other day you wouldn't have an issue. Why would you book a wedding on a school day.

Lazypuppy · 04/03/2019 19:36

Why did you decide to get married on a school day in your son's gcse year?

^THIS!

ASauvignonADay · 04/03/2019 19:37

This is unfortunate but why book it on a school day when he is in year 11?

I don't know the answer - there may be a teacher on here who does. But I do not think the school are being unreasonable.

Gazelda · 04/03/2019 19:41

Why are you annoyed at the school?
they didn't set the exam requirements. Or Is it because they hadn't given you more notice of the trip?
To be honest, I think it was ill-judged to book your wedding on a school day during his GCSE year. Can you do the trip privately?

Jackshouse · 05/03/2019 06:33

Yes why get married then. You could have easily picked any weekday at the start of July.

Lungelady · 05/03/2019 06:37

I agree with everyone else. Why on earth would you plan to get married so close to GCSEs?

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/03/2019 06:48

You do seem to be overlooking the fact that the person that has caused this is you.

wellhelloyou · 05/03/2019 07:02

Perhaps the OP is on a very tight budget and could only afford to get married on a weekday. Weekend weddings can be very very expensive.

I'm interested to learn however what excursion would lead to the only way to knowing the answer in an exam? What would happen if a child was ill on that day and genuinely not able to make it in? I would have a calm chat with the Head. If they previously gave approval perhaps a solution could be found on finding a way for your son to still give you away but also find the 'answer' to the exam another way.

Lungelady · 05/03/2019 07:03

Tight budget...what about a weekday in school holidays?

user1474894224 · 05/03/2019 07:09

(I'm not going to have a go at you for getting married on a school day. - Congratulations.) Definitely arrange to speak to the class/subject teacher asap. Explain the situation and ask what you can do to mitigate around this. Teachers are humans too.... it's not like he's staying home to play playstation or go to a theme park. As long as you show that you are willing to support him making up the work I'm sure there will be a solution.

Original poster

BabyHugg · 05/03/2019 07:29

Why is it most people reply to these posts not with the intention of offering sound advice but to simply bash the OP?

Yes we are on an extremely tight budget so a weekday seemed like a good solution for us. The 12th March is a sentimental date for us as it is the anniversary of the day we met.

We spoke to the school last year before even booking the wedding, to my sons then head of year who said to go ahead and book and that it wouldn't be a problem as it is only one day out of the school year. I voiced my concerns at it being his gcse year and again she said it is only one day and the school would approve it as it is an exceptional circumstance and we should put it in writing nearer the time, which we did at the beginning of January like we were advised to.
I'm annoyed because we followed the advice we were given and now this trip has popped up. I'm concerned that the only way he can answer these questions is to attend the trip. What if a student was poorly? They must have some guidance in place for that?

I have already spoken to his subject teacher who is adamant he must go on the trip even though we were previously granted permission for him to attend the wedding. She is not willing to budge or help with an alternative solution.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 05/03/2019 07:33

To be fair you can’t expdct the school to arrange trips around your wedding!

Always a risk of a clash of events if you choose to do it on a weekday during term time

Haggisfish · 05/03/2019 07:35

The head of year wouldn’t have known about the trips, or at least not the dates, when they spoke to you.

wellhelloyou · 05/03/2019 07:40

I would perhaps have a super quick chat to the head (with the expectation that it might not matter) and just ask if there is another way your son can obtain the answer to the exam that the trip will give. I still don't really understand how only a trip can give the answer but I think another chat might be in order. If the answer at the end of the day is he must go then that is that really.

I don't suppose there is any way you could ask the venue to perhaps move to the day earlier?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/03/2019 07:42

What is the subject? If it’s Geography as someone suggested up thread you must be able to take him on a different day to get the same data?

Villanellesproudmum · 05/03/2019 07:54

My daughter is year 10 so a year behind however two of her subjects have trips they need to attend, Geography and Drama. Data collection and analysis for Geography and group theatre analysis for Drama.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 05/03/2019 08:56

What could they possibly be doing on the trip that he can’t possibly learn at another time. I’m calling bullshit.

Missmarplesknitting · 05/03/2019 13:32

Not bullshit.
We have to sign exam board paperwork saying the data was collected first hand.
The students have to collect it themselves.

Illness or absence means they just have to go in the holidays with parents to the same sites and collect their data in its various forms.

If we didn't do it properly ie we cheated the exam board regs, we would lose our jobs. I'd not be up for risking that.

Kid has to do the work, end of. If you chose to have the wedding on that day, you've also chosen that you're happy to catch that missed work up.

MrsMaow · 05/03/2019 18:27

I can’t help with your problem, no idea I’m afraid, just wanted to say congratulations on getting married

niclw · 06/03/2019 11:47

I'm assuming as other posts have that this is a geography trip. I'm a head of geography and there are a few options for you although the most ideal option is for him to attend the trip.

Option1: as suggested by others, you could take him on the trip yourself on a different date so he can collect the data. The new GCSEs require less data collection than in the past so it shouldn't take too long to do.

Option 2: someone posted that it is a requirement to prove that the students have collected the data. Yes this was the case before the GCSEs changed however on the new courses the school including the headteacher have to state the title of the fieldwork carried out and how many students attended. It does not ask for the names of the students who did not attend. However, your son would have to use someone else's data, still be expected to complete the follow up work and answer the questions on the fieldwork his exam. It does generally make it harder to answer he questions if they haven't completed the fieldwork themselves.

Option 3: there are likely to be others that do not attend due to illness. Perhaps you and the other parents could run the trip on a different date for all of your children.

In my current school, I had half of the class refuse to attend the 2nd trip last year and there parents would not support me in getting them to attend. The paperwork submitted to the exam board reflected this and so did their final grades for the fieldwork unit.

niclw · 06/03/2019 11:47

Forgot to add good luck in sorting it out.

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