Hi guys, I wouldn't usually find myself doing but I thought I'd post this here for some advice. To start it all off, I'm a 25 year old male and I have a beautiful 15 month old daughter with my partner. We both came two different cultures with me being originally Mediterranean European and my partner being East African. We have been together for 3 years and tried for a baby after a year or so. As the birth came along that's when the problems started surfacing. Her family had spoken to her about taking her and my daughter to their house to stay as it is their culture for a first time mother to stay at her familys' so she can be "taught how to be a mother". (Although this is something you learn along the way). Bear in mind i was not aware of this conversation and was only told about this when they dismissed her from the hospital. Obviously I was against this. This was my new family, my baby and i felt like i was being pressured into accepting this. We came home. Her mother went crying to her family and she kept being bombarded with phone calls asking why she didn't go. Although she knew i didn't agree and neither did she we made an agreement for her to go there for a few days. A few days went past and then turned into a month. I felt like i was being robbed of my right as father. We argued back and forth because she was scared of saying something to them or ask them to bring her home. I'll be honest, we split up briefly over the whole situation. Until i received a phone call from her after her having a big argument with her father over this situation. To cut this short, she came back home with my daughter and her father was not allowed to see her for a while after the stunt the family pulled. Fast forwarding to now, everything has been ok -ish. I speak to the family but not really involve myself that much since the whole experience.
As of late however, I have been noticing heavy involvement from my MIL's side. My daughter can't do anything with out her Nan picking her up and hugging her constantly. Its like when i get up to approach her she gets up and walks off with her amongst other things. When she brings the little one home she has started screaming and acting differently. She completely ignores my partner, not so much myself. It does frighten me as it feels like my daughter no longer views her mother as her mother. I know it sounds silly but it worries me. The constant mothering from her Nan is changing her. Also, she is aware the only time i get to speand time with my daughter is on the weekends as i work full time Mon-Friday till late. Yet, she constantly hounds me with calls every weekend asking to take her out. She takes her on a Sunday to go church and disappears for the whole day with her. For example, the little one has recently been ill and my partner told me her mother was taking her to church on Sunday, i told her she should not be going out in her condition but went against my word. Later that night i got a phone call from MIL stating they took her to A&E because she got worse. I am getting really frustrated because seeing her continuously is clearly not enough for her. I want to speak to my partner about it but she has always been too scared to say anything to her parents. Not only that but i dont think i'll be able to have this conversation about boundaries with her without her arguing with me. 
has anybody got any suggestions?