Ex isn't communicating with me - no idea what to do?!

[bet9d]

Hello,

My ex and I have 3 y/o son together, we split about a month ago and I have moved into my parents whilst he has stayed in the home we both own until it has sold.

Over the past 2 weeks when it's been his days to have our son, I would just message to check he's okay and would get a one word response.. but then each time when it's been the drop off there have been things that have happened that he hasn't told me, and just said our son is 'fine'.

On Sunday his dad dropped him off, and he didn't look well at all so I messaged when he had left (he basically dropped him at my gate and ran off), and he told me he had been up all Friday night and Saturday being sick!

I am so upset, I know that it wasn't my day to have him but he's only 3 and I only live round the corner so could have helped out, washed bedding etc.. anything. So i've asked him why he hasn't told me he was poorly and he just thinks when it's his days I don't need to know, and in his words I need to 'get a grip'.

I've no idea what the norm is, as it's only been a month. But surely just a message on the Saturday to let me know he hasn't been very well would be the respectable thing to do? He also came home with a big bruise on his cheek from nursery which had happened & he hadn't told me...

Am I expecting too much? He's still my son and I just want to make sure he's okay.

I would suggest that u need to have confidence in ur ex and allow him to be a dad.

He sounds like he has the support of his family and wants to be allowed to get on with it.

Do u msg him every time ur son is ill on ur days? Would u want ur ex coming round and helping by washing bedding etc? Or would u prefer to just get on with it.

Give him some space and he may become more communicative during handover.

Sounds like ex is simply trying to avoid you and limit his contact with you. Doesn’t sound like anything to do with the kid. Unless you have a genuine reason to think he isn’t a capable parent then id leave him to it.

I don't think you're expecting too much at all. I think you're completely right and he's being very immature. "Get a grip"? What is he a teenager. He needs to grow up and communicate to you at all times for the sake and well being of your son. If I were you I'd call him and tell him about what you expect. Even if he gets mad or comes at you with stupid remarks at least you've laid it out on the table and he knows how you feel.