Wary of taking baby and 4 year old out together

[Lovetodream]

I feel silly asking this but how do people manage to go out and about with more than one child. DS has just turned 4 , is lovely but doesn’t play by himself. If we’re in the playground for instance, he’ll want me to hold him when he jumps off or comes down the slides etc. Which was fine when he was the only child. DD is 8 weeks old, EBF is a content little soul bless her but obviously needs holding or rocked in the pram constantly. It takes atleast 1 hour to coordinate their eating, dressing up, weeing etc even when DH is around. How on earth do I get out of the house with both of them? I’m paranoid of losing DS when we’re out, of DD crying and other scenarios. So far I’ve been taking DD out whenever DS is st nursery 4 days a week. He’ll be down to 3 days a week from next week, clearly I need to get out of the house with both of them so I don’t go insane. Also DS insists on pushing the pram when we walk which isn’t safe, he was told no last time which resulted in massive tears. Any tips please, I’ll be grateful.

Can you put DD in a sling and take their stuff in a backpack? Aim for a simple, short and local trip to start with so coming home isn't too difficult. I can remember the logistics of taking them out solo seemed insurmountable when we first went from 1 to 2 but you'll soon get the hang of it.

Get a sling, mastering breast feeding in the sling was great for me. Don’t let DS push the buggy, you’re the adult, establish this as a firm rule, but buy him a toy buggy and doll to push.

Start small and do it regularly with firm rules. I had 4 six and under and it takes a little to establish a routine but I was a lot saner for going out every day!

It's hard. I've got a 2.4 ds and a 12 week old. We do depending on the situation a combo of

sling baby toddler walks (with reins)
Pram baby toddler walks (with reins)
Pushchair toddler sling baby
Double pushchair
Just bought a buggy board but not used it yet but might be a good option for you.

Don't let ds push the pram as you say it's not safe, you might have a few tantrums but he'll get over they quicker if it's always no go thing. Hold the side of the pram to help mummy?

Back pack reins so they're a bit more grown up?

Park, I go to one which has a separate under 5 section when on my own as ds will throw himself off anything.

Is it possible to walk around the block or to somewhere close like a shop and make it you're aim to get out somewhere everyday but not big trips just get bread and home. Build confidence a bit at a time.

Sometime I've had to resort to CBeebies on my phone for the times where I'm out and feeding dd to keep ds occupied and in one place.

At this age you make use of the buggy or a sling. I have twins so I have no idea what it’s like with just one - as babies it was easy, they were content in the buggy with me taking it in turns to get them out. Now they’re 2.5 and both have ASD, it’s a blooming nightmare and I rarely ever take them out on my own apart from children’s centre groups that I know are safe environments - the thought of taking them to the park or beach alone fills me with absolute terror, there’d be an A&E trip (at best) within 10 minutes!

Baby carriers are your friend, otherwise the buggy. The good news for you is that your older one should be more self sufficient by the time your baby is mobile.

At 4 your DS is old enough to understand the rules and be bribed. So walk holding the side of the buggy, or we go home. If good then you get x. I can push my buggy with one hand, so roads I can still hold his hand to cross.

For the playground, go to smaller fenced in places so you feel more confident. My DS is also in this phase where he wants constant attention and it’s very draining (he’s nearly 4, DD is 1.5) but you just have to be firm and say I’m watching you but I have to look after the baby right now so I can’t hold your hand. Show me how you climb up there etc. Ideally we find another kid to play with at the park which helps a lot.

My Dd wanted to push her little brother in the prom all the time. I gave her something to hold instead. For example, if we had a letter to post, she’d hold that. Or she’d hold her library books, or a shopping bag with a couple of things in if we had been to the shops. Or an umbrella just in case it rains!
I also got a little magnifying glass for her to take to the park. She’d happily go off and use it to look at leaves, bugs and whatever else took her fancy!
I’d also send her on scavenger hunts for things.