2 under 2, tips pretty please

[jackio2205]

Hi,

Having my second DD in a couple of months, already have a 14mo. Anyone have any really good practical tips? Will I get to ever leave the house do you think? Also does anyone have any thoughts on them sharing a room, good idea or just no way in hell??!

Ta xxxx

I had a 19 months gap. Wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. I found being heavily pregnant chasing a one year old the tough part.

I would plan to get out in the morning if you can. Double buggy saved my life! Would chuck them in go to park knacker out one year old and then go to shops on way home and get what I needed (coffee, biscuits etc lol)

Feel your freezer with meals ready for the first few weeks. Take up all offers of help when people visit. Don't feel like you should have it all together you shouldn't! My mates would come over and do the washing up or hang washing out and bring me lunch. They were angels!

Ours didn't share but assume baby will be with you for a bit so maybe just take it as goes!

Finally some days will be shit and both kids will be crying and the you will too. I found chocolate buttons, peppa magazines and CBeebies were my saviours those days!

Good luck!

Be kind to yourself is my no. 1! We had an 18month gap and sometimes it was tough (I didn't have a lot of support as we'd just moved) so I'd agree take all the support/help you're offered. I think what was toughest for me was the lack of 1 on 1 time with my eldest, I missed him so much. But it's a season, it passed and now I love the age gap!

Fill the freezer, have a nappy bag you can just grab and go at all times and try to get out most days, even just for a walk or play on the garden. Don't stress about the tv being on too much and as long as they're both fed, watered and clean (ish!) you're winning!

I also found getting the oldest out on days/play dates with friends and relatives where we could eased my guilt at feeling like I should be doing more for him. Also it goes so fast, enjoy and congratulations x

Fab, thank you both! Think it is about being organised, just like having their clothes ready would be a start! Luckily I do have lots of support which is good, my rule is that only people that can come over in the first few weeks are people that I can ask to make me a cup of tea in my own house, haha!! X

I have 23 month gap so only just 2 under 2 but I agree with tips for double buggy and I recommend to try get lunchtime nap for both at same time. It makes life so much easier even if just 1 hour overlaps so you can sort things in the house out. Yes to being super organised too for getting out and about. I aim to get out in morning between morning and lunchtime nap then again in afternoon, baby has late afternoon nap on the move.

Be prepared for it to be tough, everyone told me first 3 months were worst but I found months 3-5 so much harder but there are wonderful moments amongst it. Good luck

Accept offers of help. Ask for help if you need to.

Try to take time to just enjoy your babies as it can be overwhelming.

I have an 18month gap. It was so hard for the first 6 months, and then it got easier. I never had to play with no.2 as they always had a play mate.

Tips would be - relax on all housework!

I have a 14 month gap and my youngest is coming up to 7 months now. I feel like I'm only just starting (in the last month probably) to see light at the end of a dark tunnel. It has been HARD - and I didn't even breastfeed so hats off to anyone that does.

Definitely agree with trying to get out in the morning and home for lunch and nap time, but in the early days if you can face it or don't have the energy don't worry about it. CBeebies is your saviour.

Try not to get yourself worked up trying to get to a timed baby class (eg sensory) - it won't happen! I've found the more relaxed ones that you just turn up anytime in the set time are far easier to get to.

We have just arranged the eldests room today so that the younger one can share with them, so can't give advice on that yet as it may go tits up tonight

Good luck! It's hard but once you get through the initial slog it's very rewarding

*cant face it

Mine have a 20 month age gap.

I thought I’d follow advice and get a sling for number 2 and number 1 would be soon out of pushchair so I could use it for dc2.
DP ordered a double pram last week as I cannot carry dc2 around for long periods as she’s really heavy and I’m still achy from having given birth.

Definitely try and get out of the house each day makes the world of difference to us, as both dc tend to nap once they’ve been out in the fresh air and some days I also nap with them, or I sort the house out.

Batch cook or get your DP to cook. Make sure you eat properly.

We also send dc1 to nursery one day a week, so I get time with dc2 and a bit of a rest.

I have 2 years and 1 month between mine so not quite 2 under 2, but it is much easier than I thought. Much much easier than being heavily pregnant with the toddler from hell I actually felt better the day after I had dd than I had the previous 6 weeks (she was 11 days late)

Get a sling
Always strap your oldest in first so she doesn't disappear whilst you're strapping in the second
Someone will have to wait at some point so try not to get stressed about it.
Get out of the house if you can most days even if it's for a stroll around the block
Reins - vital as it's harder to run after the first/easier for her to slip your hand whilst your distracted

All brilliant tips, thanks everyone! I've got severe SPD and last time it lingered for a few months after, thinking it'll be the same this time unfortunately so I'm not really thinking i'll get out too much, lots of pyjama days, but i've got no shortage of people coming over Who can help and who I don't have to play host to.

Dd1 has a morning nap and it's pretty routined, I'm thinking i'll try get DD2 to nap at same time eventually.

Please let me know @hothotsoup if sharing bedroom works out with two of them? It'd be nice to still have a spare room. (I know it's a luxury but it would be nice to have storage space etc!) x

@jackio2205 2 nights down and it's not going too bad for sharing so far. We only have a 2 bed though so they will have to like it or lump it!
First night the 7mo old woke up at 5ish for dummy but the 20 month old got woken up by that so ended up in my bed for a couple of hours. I'm hoping once this stage is outgrown and youngest can easily find own dummy it will be smoother. But still we have got all night til 5 with no disruptions so that's good

@hothotsoup hows it been so far.....?

Does anyone have any tips for baby bags? i carry with me a rucksack that has a change of outfit, bottles, nappies, wipes, food etc, everything for my eldest, should i have a completely separate bag for my newborn? Without taking round a suitcase I just dont see how i'm not going to get stressed carrying one bag with a million things in it and just not being able to find anything when i want it? Any tips?
Xxx

Both napping simultaneously in a double pushchair is the dream. Church toddler groups are cheap and run by lovely ladies who'll cuddle the baby while you play with the toddler.

For the changing bag, especially as it's nearly summer, you don't need separate spare clothes. Baby can wear the eldest's t-shirts, just take some of those then it doesn't matter who needs them.

17 months between my two. They are 2&3 now, and I’m pregnant with DC3!

• You will definitely leave the house - it’s easier the smaller they are. They are more portable, easier to contain in buggies/car seats/slings than they are when they get older!
• 2 in nappies really isn’t all that bad, except if your two learn to shit simultaneously like mine did I quickly learned it’s best to change the toddler first as they have the potential to make more mess with their own poo than the baby
• They will fight. It’s inevitable. I’ve learned now which fights to get involved in and which ones to just let them hash it out between them. If no one is bleeding, then they can fight over the dinosaur if it’s really that important!
• Hopefully you’ll be lucky like I was and your eldest will keep napping for a while yet. As DC2 got into more of a routine, he naturally fell in with DC1’s routine. So for midday nap time, DC1 would also be asleep, and it was an hour of sheer bliss that I’ve treasured for 2 years and I will be so sad when it ends!!

What double buggies are you all using?

Still feel like I'm in the thick of it as DS2 is 12 weeks. You'll have awful days and days when you feel like superwoman, totally winning. The changing bag, have it ready to go at all times like a PP said. When you've finally managed to get them both fed and clean you do not want to realise the bag needs nappies and snacks because by the time you've sorted it someone will need something else!
I organise mine with lots of different pouches to make it easy to find things - small washbags/pencil cases work well.
Being heavily pregnant with a toddler was worse than having a newborn and a toddler! Good luck!

@MyBreadIsEggy 😂😂😂😂😂

Thanks everyone, all very helpful! Sure I'll think of more questions but for the moment it's great hearing all of your comments about how its working x

@jackio2205 I'm not sure how long they've been sharing a room now - a week or 2? Anyway, it seems to be fine now. They don't really wake each other up unless one is really kicking off. Tbh the worst bit is the eldest (in a toddler bed) getting up and stealing the baby's dummies out of the cot
At the moment we can't put them down at the same time at bed time, we have to do one first and wait for them to fall asleep then bring the other one in. Just seems to run smoother than them "talking" to each other.

I have a nappy rucksack type change bag and just use the one. I've found that actually I don't need that much for the older one anymore, and depending on where I'm going if I run out of nappies I can usually to get to a shop if needed so I try not to pack too heavily. If we're on a day trip somewhere I will pack a second bag of spares and leave that in the car, because it's likely not needed but if it is it's just a trip back to the car.

Pp mentioned double buggies - I've had uppababy vista, mountain buggy duet and now a mountain buggy nano duo. Honestly they are all good and bad in lots of ways and I don't think there will ever be a perfect double. I also have a single umbrella stroller which I'm thinking of getting a buggy board to try with the eldest.

That sounds like its working well then @hothotsoup, keep going with it! I'm going to think about it a bit more and maybe put both of mine in the same room, can always change if it doesn't work?

I've got the uppababy vista aswell, its quite big but needs must right! I think when i go on holiday i'll get another stroller (ive got a silvercross at the mo and i loooooove it) so theyve got separate ones, when theyre both a bit older i can look into doubles when they'll both have the same routines x