I am normal?

[schoome]

Hi , i'm a mum of 1 year old twins and i haven't felt down since I had them but recently I'm starting to miss my old life (before twins).

When I gave birth it was a challenge , my husband and I were basically surviving . I found people really helpful and sympathetic towards the challenge.
Fast forward one year - I went back to work 2 days a week when they were 8 months. I found it way too much - especially working as a teacher dealing with children with special needs.

I recently left work and when I tell people they seem to think my life is easy - oh, so you're a kept woman now? We should hang out now you're not in work. Nobody seems to realise my twins are still there. The work seems invisible and I feel invisible.

I would like to have a bit of me back - I'd like to work 2/3 days a week ideally but childcare is too expensive. It would cost £100 a day.

You're absolutely normal, no doubt about it. People generally don't mean to be cruel when they say things about being kept etc, but I don't think they appreciate how difficult babies can be, especially when there's more than one of them.
I don't have any advice really, but it sounds like you're doing a great job. In terms of childcare is there any family near by who could help? Could DP condense his hours and take them for a day while you work? Did you take advantage of tax free childcare?

Maybe consider a nanny or an au pair if you have a spare room? You only have to pay an employee once instead of double childcare fees if you put them in a childcare centre.

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I feel there’s a real childcare trap for people not earning enough to pay that type of money and without help from family. Sorry I don’t have any advice because I’m in a similar position myself. The only thing I would say is my eldest is nearly 4 and suddenly I’m realising in another year she’ll be off to school. My youngest is 18 months. So, not sure if this is helpful or not but I’m basically in the position at the moment of realising how quickly it passes and suddenly you’ll be in a totally different situation. Hang in there. Do what works best for you, even if you do a tiny bit of work just for your own sanity more than anything else. Your situation will change again and things should get easier childcare-wise anyway! But you’re right people don’t value the role of a mum and how much work is involved.

Yeah time will pass so quickly you're right. I was supposed to take this special time with them I think. I just wish I was valued by society. It's a tough job. Lovely but tough.