The terrible twos, how did you cope?

[SoVeryTired998]

My DS1 turned 2 at the start of December, and we are currently having at least one meltdown per day. Little things set him off, today it was when I stopped him going into DS1's bedroom as he was sleeping. He flies into a rage, screaming, kicking, throwing whatever he can pick up. It can go on for over an hour and nothing seems to calm him down. At the weekend we had to leave a restaurant because he had a meltdown as soon as we got in there and it wasn't fair to other customers to have to sit through his episode.

How did everyone else cope? What can I do to calm DS down when he is in full swing? I've tried giving him a time out, the naught step, cuddling him, ignoring him. I'm starting to loose my mind a bit with it.

Distraction and dancing round like a CBeebies presenter on acid - oh look at this lovely toy I bought with me in case you decided a blue cup wasn't to your liking today. How many planes can you see in the sky, can you count them for me?!?

That and gin ~for me, not DS obviously~

But solidarity fistbump to you OP, these are trying times and I'm just about ready to farm him out to someone else as he winds me up no end with the constant screaming, demands and tantrums

Do some reading up on why they tantrum at that age, it's quite interesting the massive development jumps going on. It helps to understand the 'why' when you're thinking about what to do about it.

We just rode it out, didn't go to restaurants / supermarkets / shops etc. Whenever DD kicked off, we just removed her from the situation. If we were on a walk, we turned around and went home. If we were on the bus, we got off, stood on the pavement until the red mist lifted and then got back on the bus. It was boring but we did feel as much in control of it as we could without inflicting it on other people.

It will pass, and everyone knows what two year-olds are like. One thing I wouldn't do is the naughty step - your DS isn't being 'naughty', he's just being two. Taking him into a calmer area where there's less stimulation is an alternative.

It really is a matter of keeping your cool while they fall apart. Sometimes that means limiting where you go, when you go and/or how long you do it.

This too shall pass!

My 21 month old ds has just started with the terrible 2s and its draining the life out of me already!! He kicks off over everything! He particularly hates getting dressed in the morning, he is super strong too so have to leave him to calm down or I can get kicked and punched! He hates getting in the car after nursery does that making himself stiff and screaming blue murder the sweat is rolling off me trying to stay calm after a full day in work!

I am hoping it does get better soon! You are not alone we are all in this together!

When DD gets into full melt down mode any intervention eg distractions or offering cuddles make it worse. I just sit quietly on the floor and wait until she is ready to talk or play again.

The book how to talk so little kids listen is helpful.

Wine

Tears and wine, my tears and hers

DS was 2 in October and is also very good at tantrums! At the minute our major issue is clothes. He hates getting dressed and undressed, won’t wear certain things and will demand a usually inappropriate for the weather outfit!

Same here this morning. Major meltdown because we brushed DD's hair.

Solution? Get a teddy. Tickle the Teddy and have him laugh from all the insanely fun tickling.

Works a charm

Ignoring tantrums is a great skill to learn. Your remaining calm and not responding to bad behaviour(tough when you are outside in public) and , at the same time, praising and rewarding good behaviour was the most effective tools I acquired at that age.

Trust me, you'll need them again through several stages - particularly the teenage years.

Oh, and wine and vigorous exercise were great for getting rid of pent up frustrations on my part.

Oh yes, another couple of things:
Sleep, plenty of it - tantrums made 1000x worse by tiredness.
(DD actually had a tantrum IN her sleep once, she was in our bed at the time - if it hadn't been 3am it would have been quite funny!)
Blood sugar levels - keep them up, absolutely nothing worse than a hangry two year-old.
Our rules on naps and snacks fell by the wayside somewhat in the quest for a quiet(er) life...

Wait till he's 3, it's much worse! 😆

HTH

@MissSueFlay the sleep thing is interesting because these tantrums go hand in hand with DS dropping his nap. I tried really hard to get him to keep it, still putting him to bed but he just jumps around in his room until I go get him.

I'm still trying to encourage quiet time after lunch with books etc or even dare I say it.....some screen time so he just sits quietly for an hour.

I think the wine suggestion will be majorly implemented going forward.

It also doesn't help that he is a terrible eater, picks at his food and hardly has an appetite. Oh the joys of children!!