Support from boyfriend

[cevdl2015]

Hi,
I was wondering what other people's experiences are of the support they receive from their partners. My boyfriend has a full time high pressured job so is out between 8-6pm every day and sometimes has to travel, which is ok as he's supporting me financially whilst on mat leave (I only get statutory). However, I feel baby-wise or boyfriend wise he could be more involved. Our baby is 7 weeks and only sleeps whilst being held. My boyfriend comes home, does 60mins of gym work, holds baby whilst I make dinner, does work emails then goes to bed. He then sleeps through til 8am whilst I get about 1-2 hours sleep through the night. I've just found out he's going for drinks this week (one evening) and hasn't told me. I don't think it's suspicious but I am upset he'd choose to do that rather than either come home and help me or at least spend time with me. I know his job is high pressured and I'm super grateful for the financial support but I feel very alone. It's also not helped by him complaining in between all that that the house is a mess and we're not having enough romance.
I just wanted to check what other peoples experiences are and whether working partners find it hard to balance their responsibilities and time too? I know that there is definitely an element where my OH is being a total n*b but wanted to get a perspective from others...
thanks

Hi OP. I'm a SAHM with a 14 month old. My husband is out of the house from 7-7.30.

He used to do night feeds Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights - although our son was a decent sleeper, so slightly different. He would also help with settling in the evening when he was tiny.

He has always had him for 30mins in the morning before he leaves so I can shower and dress in peace.

At weekends he shares everything with me (baby, house, cooking etc) 50-50. We also have a cleaner once a week.

When our baby was your LOs age, he probably went out a couple of nights a month. He probably does 1 night out s week these days - sometimes more if it's a work thing.

With a 7 week old, you are just in survival mode, so there should be no comments about the housework or romance / sex. We had sex about 5 times in the first year after the birth because of my birth injuries!

Your boyfriend is being a bit of a twat I'm afraid. Have a think about what you need and don't be afraid to lay it out for him x

Thank you. This is super helpful and constructive. I don't want to be a demanding SAHM, but a bit of support would help a lot! Thanks x

No problem. You're in the newborn fog right now and it can feel so, so hard. You need all the support your partner can give you right now. Plus the support of any friends and family you can get your hands on! You'll both have to make sacrifices. But it does get so much easier! Best of luck x

I'm still currently pregnant but my husband seems to have a similar job routine to your boyfriend.

He's also very keen on the gym (our garage is now a gym). I know work is very difficult but I can tell you right now he wouldn't be in the gym for an hour after coming home each day! But I wouldn't even need to ask. I'm more than happy for him to use his gym and he'll probably do 2 lots during the week and then maybe do another session at the weekend. But there is no way he'd be leaving me to it again for an extra hour each day when a baby is that young.

What does he say when you ask him to do more?