Arrangement MIL

[JenLaBe]

Hello all,
So I have a little question for feedback.
My LO is 16 months and it has been a while we try to have his grand mother in law to come and spend time with him.
So far, the only answer was that she was busy/too far away (35min)/ doesn't know the road...etc.
We weren't impressed as in the same time we were asked to come around and pressured to do so at every occasion. Then called and emotionally blackmailed if we couldn't.
Not needed say, I took my distance while also announcing 2nd pregnancy. My DH was and swore his mom will come out of the wood and come from now on and as he wanted her to have our first baby while we will be at hospital having second. I said yes and tried again to invite which finally happened.

Now... during the convo, it appeared that she wants me to turn back the favor and come each month to drop my 1st LO and leave them together at hers while I would have to stay around but not at hers having nothing to do.
I certainly don't want to be ungrateful but I am like...erm... so i would stay around for 1 or 2h just waiting?? I would never ask this to anyone!!! What do you think?

Sorry OP, I've read your post twice and I'm not quite sure what's going on.

Please can you clarify?

Sorry,
I tried to give some background.

My MIL would like me to drop my first lo at hers, then not staying at hers so out for 1 or 2 hours (there is literally nothing to do around so i will stay in car) and then pick my LO back to my and DH's place.

She just started to come around to have some alone time with her grand child after being invited for a long time. She asked this as a return favor.

No - do not agree to this. It's ridiculous. Find a friend who will take care of your LO while you give birth.

I find it strange that you're not allowed to stay at your MIL's. I regularly visit mine without my DH but with DD and have a brew etc.

But if you're comfortable with leaving her with your LO alone, then maybe make the most of the free time and go get some lunch with friends, have your hair done etc. Xx

I find it strange too... when she said that, I actually reacted and said "oh so I won't stay?"... but then I don't want to stir the water now that she just started to come.

Have I understood right, that you are upset and ffended she didn't want to come to yours much, but then you have chosen to not go round there either ?

Seeing dgc should be on the dps terms not a cf granny imo!
Find alternative options for child care for the birth.
She is a stranger, why would you leave dc with her??

LO is quite very comfy with her. I want to nurture that relationship. The birth is still a few months away so i hope to build that up.
I was just a bit surprised to been asked to stay out of hers but drop dc.
Was wondering if it was me or if others would have felt that too...

@BackforGood
So we are going as a family but it is "not enough" so we have been pressured a lot which i found difficult and withdrawn from it... since i found that they were never coming to our invitations but always ask for us to come while there. In total over the last year they came twice...we or dh have been each 2/3 weeks.
My dh of course, as said, still go and have brought lo for Christmas.
There is no reason for them to not come. It is 35min drive.

I would be suspicious tbh. Unsupervised access to a dc isn't a right...

I wouldn't be driving to drop my kids off then hanging round like a spare part. I see a lot of posts about grandparents wanting to look after the children on their own, it sounds weird to me.

Could you suggest she goes to your house and can spend time there with them alone? That way the children have all their toys etc and you could get some local errands done or visit friends?

@porridgeface
Yeah I came to the same conclusion.
I will be offering this settings yes