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Original poster

have your kids ever stole?

16 replies

whitefeather · 07/09/2004 15:09

just took my niece out while shopping in supermarket to find that she has stolen hair bobbles and clips shes just gone 3 so she knows its wrong, have i been to harsh taking her back to the shop screaming to make her have to go the the checkouts and tell them what she had done and say sorry, feel awful now. shes really upset!and i feel bad now

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fio2 · 07/09/2004 15:10

my son stole 2 dummies out of the co-op the other week and i never even noticed. He had even took them out the packaging and they were BOTH in his mouth!!!

Original poster

whitefeather · 07/09/2004 15:14

alos when she was about 2 i had her shopping and a mum came up to me asking if her son could have his happy meal back, my dear niece had only stloe the boys happy meal off his knee in his buggy! and hear she is munching away on the poor boys food! that made me smile thou well through my red cheeks x

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BadHair · 07/09/2004 15:38

Not too harsh, Whitefeather, as I'd have done the same.
Perhaps if my mum had done the same to me when I was 3 it would have prevented my teenage kleptomania, but she was too embarrased to go back to the shop.

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Original poster

whitefeather · 07/09/2004 15:43

well now she is asleep on settee and looks like an angel, i so want to go and get the hair clips for her, but what would that teach her! feel bad suppose when she wakes ( cried herself to sleep because of it) she'll be my friend again!

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HiddenSpirit · 07/09/2004 15:45

Not too harsh at all WF. My mum did this to me when I was about 5 and I was so embarrassed and sorry that I was in tears! Have to admit I still stole on the odd occassion when I was a teenager though

In answer to your question - yes my son stole a pencil sharpener from school today Needless to say he will be taking it with him tomorrow and giving it to the teacher with an apology!

SofiaAmes · 07/09/2004 22:41

I have to disagree. I think that 3 is far too young to understand the concept of stealing. I think that you were really unduly harsh in taking her back to the shop screaming. Personally I would have brought the stuff back, apologized for her taking it and given her a calm lecture about how things need to be paid for in a store, rather than humiliating her for something that she didn't really understand. I also have to question how a 3 year old was out of your sight enough that she managed to take things without your knowledge. Maybe you should have been watching her more closely.

spacemonkey · 07/09/2004 22:46

I agree that at the age of 3 a child can't really be held responsible for stealing from a shop. I would say a 5-year-old is a bit different.

It's difficult and I'm sure you did what seemed the right thing at the time whitefeather - there's no point in beating yourself up over it any more than you already have!

Slinky · 07/09/2004 22:48

I agree with SofiaAmes.

I would have taken the clips back, explained what happened etc etc. Would then explain to 3yo why you can't take things out of the shops without paying for them first.

At 3, she wouldn't understand what she did was wrong - all she can see is some pretty hairclips, she wants them and therefore under the "Rules of a 3yo" she can take them.

jampot · 07/09/2004 22:54

DD when she was a baby and sitting in trolley at Toys R Us picked up a cadbury's creme egg at the checkout - I found it in her sticky little hand outside - so took her back round and handed it back.

DS on the other hand went supermarket shopping with dh one day and at the checkout a Dairylea Lunchable under his coat

Ghosty · 08/09/2004 02:26

About 4 weeks ago DS came home with a wooden sword that he said he had made at Kindy. I thought nothing of it as it is a bit of a craze with the boys at the moment (making swords).
Anyway, last week DS was sitting eating his tea looking a bit upset. I asked him what was bothering him and he looked at me distraught. He said, all in one quick gush, "You know that sword I brought home from kindy? The yellow one? Well it wasn't mine and it was someone else's and I took it and I lied!" And he opened his mouth wide and howled and howled and howled!!!
DH and I were a bit upset about it but we weren't cross with him because he had obviously been worrying about it and it showed us he has a conscience.
We had a long talk about telling the truth, told him he was fantastic for telling us and then the next day we quietly took the sword back to Kindy and gave it to the teacher who patted DS on the back and told him he had done the right thing. Nothing more has been said, DS seemed to grow an inch that day, and I have to say his behaviour (which has been crap) improved since then ... he obviously had it playing on his mind for some time ....
I agree that 3 is too young to drag screaming back to the shop ... I think you could have taken her back and explained to the shopkeeper quietly what had happened and used this opportunity to start teaching about telling the truth and lying ...
My DS is nearly 5 and he is only just getting the hang of it.

006 · 08/09/2004 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucybelle · 08/09/2004 20:49

My 3 year old DD stole a cream egg a couple of months ago. We found it on her when we got back home. I just told her how very naughty taking things from shops was and that I was going back to the shop now to return it. While dh was bathing her i pretended to go out and return it to the shop. I think she got the message. The fact she didn't get to keep what she took probably made her think there isn't much point doing it again. Incidently, the shop in question had an enormous barrel in the middle of the shop filled with about a million eggs. Very difficult for a 3 yr old to know they are not just there for the taking!

SoupDragon · 08/09/2004 20:51

I took DSs to a farm last year. DS2 (2.5 then) ran away from me at the entrance and straight through the shop to the farmyard, pausing only to grab a handful of ladybird rings from a display.

lavender1 · 08/09/2004 21:03

whitefeather I can understand why you went ballistic with her however reasoning and stuff like that aren't obvious to a three year old so a different approach would have been better....and yes they have, never ds but dd came back with a ring from Hunstanton Sea life centre last year and we were livid....a friend had had a similar incident with her son and explained that if he stole again she would get the police in to explain the seriousness of stealing and how you might end up in prison....well she did and he never did it again...I told dd that if I ever found her doing this again I would ring the police, not to chastise her but to let her know what would happen to her if she stole....she has never done it again btw....3 a little young to chastise but if you say nothing that isn't good so she must be made to feel it's very wrong..don't feel bad about it am sure many other mums would have reacted this way in the heat of the moment (I know I would).lavxxx

melli · 08/09/2004 22:47

oh ghosty i really laughed on reading ur message what a sweet ds-confession time. I was a bit like that when i was young couldnt sucessfully carry out a wrongdoing . so sweet and he learned so much through it

Original poster

whitefeather · 09/09/2004 10:47

well sorry for all you that disagree but i believe that i did the right thing, i spoke to her as soon as she woke and she fulliny understands the concept of stealing she knows its wrong and if it takes me taking her back to the shop and handing it back!.... this is the 2nd time this has happened the 1st time we dissmisssed it as oh shes only 3 she doesnt understand,but i bet she doesnt do it again!
SofiaAmes i would just like to say she was very closely supervised thankyou very much she cant be much closer supervised than she was in her buggy! while shopping with a 3 year old and a 5 year old i couldnt have possibly watched her any closer, mustn't be as much of a super mum as you eh? that has really annoyed me, your comment!

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