I became a first time mum in October 2018 to my baby girl. I love her unconditionally and would do anything for her but I did have a few weeks of the major baby blues following her birth where I wondered if I had ruined my life by having her. That seems awful to say now. I had never been maternal and even though my baby was planned I'd spent most of my life not wanting kids at all. As soon as I changed my mind I fell pregnant straight away and spent most of my pregnancy with half of me excited and half of me wondering if I was making a mistake and overwhelmed with how fast my life had changed. Even my birth went pretty fast after induction and was 100x more painful than I ever imagined and I was adamant I was never doing it again.
The sleep deprivation was a massive shock to the system and I found myself crying all the time. The black cloud of the baby blues lifted eventually and now I am enjoying being her mummy - even if sometimes shes driving me insane and I wish I could just have an hour to myself once in a while...I'm sure most parents feel like that. However what shocks me now is how much I keep thinking about having another baby! It's on my mind all the time, it's becoming weird and overwhelming. Why on earth do I feel like this considering how I felt before...is this just another surge of hormones after having a baby or am I just going mad? Obviously I'm not going to try for another anytime soon but I just can't shake the feeling. Wondering if anyone else had such feelings so soon after having a baby?