Child Support

[MeganJPerry]

Here's a question for anyone in the know. It's a bit complicated. but thought I would ask on behalf of my brother. So the story is:

My brothers partner (not wife- Call her Linda), they have there own small properties all payed for & have been togther for 15 plus years. Linda is a lot older than him at 68 years old, but not in the best of health. So last week she went around to her 35 year old daughters house because she couldn't get hold of her, and the nursery were trying to find out when she was comming to pick her 2 1/2 year old child up. When she went into her house she found her hung by some electrical flex (apparantley she was diagnosed with depression), but neither my brother nor Linda had any idea she was that bad.

So here is the question/problem. Linda is not really well enough to look after a 2 1/2 year old full time, nor does she have the money needed to do so. All she has is the basic state pension and not a lot in savings. My brother still works, but is healthy, but he isnt able to look after the child 24/7 because he is self employed and isn't that flush with money either. It maybe possible for them to cope between them somehow, that needs to be worked out. Does anyone know if there is any sort of financial help they can ask for, or if there are any such organisations that can help them through the new challenge they now have bringing up a 2 1/2 year old at this late stage in there lifes.

They don't want to have to put the baby out for adoption if possible, but that maybe there only option in the end. I get the feeling money is the biggest problem, followed by being the wrong end of life to raise a 2 1/2 year old.

As an addendum before you ask. The childs father is not known, her daughter never said who it was and he wasnt interested anyway and refused to have his name on the birth certificate. He only saw the baby once in the whole 2 1/2 years to date.

Just clarifiying - the mother of a very young child has committed suicide and the child’s father is not around. Grandma is too old and is in ill health so is unable to care for the child. And step Grandad is at work but has a low income. Is this correct?

There is possibly a kinship care foster allowance but this is not going to solve the problem that she is unable to care for the child. How unwell is Grandma? At 3 the child will have 30 free hours education for term time and will soon be at school.

By the time the child is 18 Grandma will be 84 and if she is already ill health it is reseasonable to consider what is in the best interests of the child. Adoption does not not always mean no future contact with the birth family.

Thanks Jack. Your summary is correct. She is not ill as in very ill, but she isn't that good in health that she could bring up a 2 1/2 year old without practicle help. She does get very tired and worn down very quickly & does have respitory problems. I guess its quiet a culture shock from having a life where you only need to worry about you, do things in a leisurely and spaced out manner, to having a little one to care for 24/7. My brother could share some of the burden I'm sure. It's going to be quite a life altering experience. For one, he has never had children, his x wife was intfertile. I will look into the kinship care, so thank you for that information. I assume it's a UK thing. The 30 free hours is also worth noting, that could make a big difference. The poor little boy asks where his mom is now and then. What do you tell a child that young. Very sad.

I think they need to take a step back perhaps long term foster parents would be best for the child? They can still be grandparents and offer occasional overnight care etc?

I'm starting to feel that way to. They will be in late 70's and mid 80's, not ideal by any stretch of the imagination. The child would be better off with parents who are able to take good care of them and be around for large part of there life. If its possible to do that and be an active grandparent, that's even better. I will pass on these thoughts to my brother who can do with them as he wishes. Its a bit early to discuss it with his partner, after all, she lost her only child just over a week ago, so wont be in any fit state to think to much about it for now.

I take it there is no younger extended family that would consider kinship care?

I'm not sure Random. I don't know a lot about her side of the family, but I will ask the question.

The social workers will be deciding what's best for her. If you wanted to adopt or foster her you would have to apply to be registered like anyone else. You can't just take the child and be done with things. You probably wouldn't be approved but you can probably request to keep regular contact with the child. There's no reason why you wouldn't be allowed to, as it would be perfectly safe and SWs like children keeping a link to their birth family where they can.