Anyone deliberately got pregnant at university?

[CrookshanksPotter]

I'm off to university in September and we're thinking of ttc in my second year. I know it's a long way off but obviously it's a big decision so we want to make sure we're making the right choice. I'm on a healthcare based course with placements but only Monday to Friday 9-5 so no shifts or nights.

Has anyone else done it and how did you find it?

Don't do it.

I know very few people who have successfully done this. You simply cannot predict how pregnancy will treat you. I for example had horrendous sickness and couldn't do anything for months.

I am a student parent now and it's very difficult juggling assignments with little sleep. I envy the carefree students with no additional responsibilities.

I envy the carefree students with no additional responsibilities.

Ahh bit late for that for me - disabled partner and I also have a stepdaughter so already past the point of being carefree

How old is / are your DC now? Do you have much support in terms of being able to do your assignments?

Definitely don't add to your responsibilities then!

Although I guess a small baby won't make much difference if you already have caring responsibilities. Would be manageable with a good support network, it's more that you can't predict pregnancy complications.

I have three between the ages of 11 and 6. Two of them have additional needs. My Uni is very good and recognises that students with caring responsibilities need a little leeway at times.

When you say you know few people who've done it successfully, does that mean you know some who've tried and been unsuccessful? I'm glad your uni is quite supportive. I know mine have been more accommodating when a student started with a young baby and another young child. I don't know anyone who has done my course and got pregnant part way through though.

Why would you not want to wait until you finish your course? What advantages are there to having a baby in the middle of it?

I've worked with a couple of people who had babies while they were still doing university courses. They both shudder at the memory and strongly advise against it due to the impact of the pregnancy on their bodies and the impact of having a new born. However well prepared you think you are, or how supportive you think your uni will be, it's still probably the biggest thing that ever happens to your body (esp the first time) and you'd be naive in the extreme to underestimate the mental impact of it all.

I really, really wouldn't.

Why would you? You’re making the end of your degree so so much harder than it needs to be. Do your 3 years, qualify and then have a baby.

You won't get maternity allowance if you're a student I don't think, would this make an impact ?

I thought this OP!
I’m a mature student (26) and in my second year I wanted DH and I to TTC. On reflection SOOO glad we didn’t. Third year is so much harder than I was expecting and it’s a struggle just to manage a PT job and study and domestic chores...etc.

I can understand your logic and yes uni will be supportive but they won’t be more lenient with grading..etc and you’ll still have to do the work.

The only people I know who have had children during the course (2 other MT students) one dropped out and the other is failing hard and seems to think everyone is to blame but her! There’s also been quite a bit of group work which means fitting around other people’s schedules/availability and I know the MT who dropped out did so after her group in second year put in a big complaint about her as she had severe morning sickness and didn’t pull her weight in the group assignment.

The uni upheld it as ‘supportive’ as they try to be, it wasn’t fair for her to get the grade she didn’t work for!

I think it’d end in tears

Re why would we in the middle - we're not getting any younger, can't afford 3 years childcare so can't do it before and feel straight after uni when I'm trying to get a job will be even harder. At least if it's towards the end of 2nd year, start of 3rd year we'd only have one years childcare before getting a proper job and then I can go straight into a job without worrying about maternity leave.

I know I won't get maternity allowance but we'd have saved enough between us to cover things as between now and then we'd have saved 20k plus as soon as I'm back in uni I'd be getting money again.

Personally the first time around I found 3rd year easier than 2nd year. Maybe it's different for different courses though

Nursing 3rd year is hard. Lots to do and not much time to do it.

2nd year is tricky in an aimless ‘ why haven’t I finished yet’ way but with nursing (i’m assuming other HCP courses are similar) the workload is huge, the stress is high and you are also in clinical placement with your final placement as your leadership/management placement (you also have academic deadlines during this). It is really challenging.

I would advise waiting. Waiting and working to gain maternity rights before you get pregnant.

I knew people who fell pregnant accidentally on my course but no one who planned it (or admitted to doing so). They ended up taking a year+ out of study to care for their babies and returning. It drew their course out much longer than they planned (4-6 years rather than 3).

I was pregnant as a student, not even at university (a diploma in chefing) and it was seriously hard going, and adversely affected by overall grade. I didn't plan it and I would really advise against it. Being a student is exhausting and being a pregnant student even more so.

Wait until you have graduated and concentrate on your studies for now.

See I don't get this. Here people are saying don't do it but yet when I posted previously I said our ages and that I was thinking of going to university and I was advised to start trying ASAP as time waits for nobody and we'll figure the rest out and make it work.

MN isn’t a hive mind.

I would wait until your third year.

I had a baby during my PhD deliberately, because I wanted the baby and the PhD. She was my second, though, so I had SOME idea how pregnancy would affect me, and it was still really stressful and a lot of hard work. If I could have done these things one after the other, rather than at the same time, I would have, but that wasn't my situation. Some of it is going to depend on your situation, but if it is your only option and at all feasible I would say do it, or you will regret the thing you didn't do.

MN isn’t a hive mind. I know it's just interesting there's such polar opposite views but never on the same thread.

@Twisique but then who's going to employ a heavily pregnant person?

@Placebogirl thank you, it's nice to hear from somebody who has done it. Have you finished your PhD now?

I became pregnant several times during my PhD. I miscarried all of them. The doctor at the third miscarriage advised me that he thought stress was a contributing factor in my being unable to carry a baby past 12 weeks. Of course, there's no firm evidence for this I think, but I WAS stressed, phenomenally so, by the studying, and I do believe deep down that the stress was the reason.

So, just to sound a cautionary note in that respect. Whatever decision you ultimately make, I'm sure it'll be the best for you and your family. :)

I unexpectedly fell pregnant in the summer before I started my third year.

It was SO difficult.

I also only just managed to pass - a third class degree :(

I had DC in March and had to have the lectures notes sent to me and taught myself (third year physics, nice and simple eh?!) and had to sit my exams while nursing.

I applied for extenuating circumstances because I was a point off a 2:2. No dice. Self inflicted of course.

I struggled with sciatica and other issues and had to miss a few lectures due to appointments. Although I attended university right up until the day before DC was born.

Looking back I don't know how I managed BUT my graduation photo is me with my baby weight, cheeks rosey after a champagne toast, clutching my three month old baby, proud as punch.

But if I could do it all again no way would I choose midway through a degree.

I did finish, and technically in under the standard allocated time. I would have finished faster without the baby, though. Even so, she is three, and she told me she loved me four times on the walk to daycare this morning, and insisted on kissing both cheeks before I left. When she isn't the bane of my existence (JOKING!) she is the light of my life (not joking).

Even so, she is three, and she told me she loved me four times on the walk to daycare this morning, and insisted on kissing both cheeks before I left

That is absolutely adorable @Placebogirl

I had 2 babies whilst I was at university - both planned. I was very very unwell with first pregnancy and had hyperemesis gravidarum. I do not regret my decision. If I had been in employment I would have had to wait until I was entitled to maternity pay etc. I would not put off having children. No time is a good time. I went into labour in my first week back second year of course and was back at uni a week later breastfeeding baby. I just read and fed read and fed when I was at home. Husband looked after them when I was st uni in mornings and they went childcare in afternoon if I had classes I needed to attend

Op - how old are you? If you are 38 then answers will be different!