Getting out of the house with 2 under 2

[0lgaDaPolga]

Does anyone have any advice on how this is manageable?
I have a 20 month old and a 10 week old and I find it so hard to get out of the house with both of them. I just don’t have enough hands.

Ds1 has very selective hearing and is prone to running off. We’ve tried to go out to a few groups but it just seems impossible. I’ve tried having ds2 in the sling but even then it’s hard to manage ds1. If I have to stop him running out of a door or he falls over and needs to be picked up I can’t manage it with the sling on. If we go to the park I take either double buggy or stroller and sling. If it’s the double buggy I have to either wheel it around chasing ds1, or if it’s the stroller and sling, again same problem. He just runs off all the time and doesn’t listen. He won’t walk on reins either. He will just sit on the floor and scream.

I just feel like we are confined to the house a lot now. I don’t drive so we are limited to the groups nearby but it’s so hard with both of them that we don’t really go out much any more it’s just too stressful. Is there a way around this? I just feel like I’m getting it all wrong. They are having such a shit life just stuck in the house but I just can’t manage them both out of the house. I have no help nearby and my husband works away a lot so it’s just the 3 of us most of the time. Any advice? I’m desperate to get out.

It’s difficult. Do you have another adult who can come with you to help?

What is it about groups that you find difficult?

I have a 16 month age gap and DC2 is now 8 months and things are just starting to feel properly achievable again. In all honesty though the last 8 months have been a complete blur.

My saviour has been a local playgroup, DC1 is contained, DC2 is in the sling asleep (or more recently joining in playing).

I've also started venturing out to a quietish soft play during school hours. DC1 gets to run around and DC2 likes to watch everything going on.

I've also secured our garden so I can reasonably safely let DC1 play outside e.g on a trike/pedal tractor while I do the dishes and look out the window.

It does get easier, and everyone knows 2 under 2 is hard and I've found they are a bit more understanding about certain stuff.

And yes it is a bit shit. But it's really not forever.

I’d go for the most secure/non-bolty playgroup you can find. Can you bring a friend along with a toddler?

I have 16months between mine, although they're now 3 and 5, and being organised helped me.

Have the pram ready with bag, coats, shoes, snacks, toys etc the night before. In the morning you can wrestle them in and literally walk out the door. I frequently used to leave the house with 2 crying children but they'd be quite happy after five minutes (food helped the toddler with that).

My youngest wouldn't entertain reins either, but if you've got a runner I think you have to stick with the pram for safety sake.

Not going out makes the problem worse though...kids are like labradors, they need to get out for a good run around twice daily!

Stick to enclosed places; soft play, play ground, library, museum etc. So what if they trot off from you? It's appropriate, they're not going to die etc.

I used to go out every morning for sanity! A couple of mornings were a group, one morning was meeting friends and the other two were errands. The days where I needed to do errands, I used to take a lunch box for the toddler. She could walk for a bit on the way (you have to do a bit of 'training' to get them to hold hands etc), and it didn't matter if it took forever. By the time we got to the supermarket or wherever, she was tired and happy to eat some snacks in the pram (and help with the shopping), and I confess I started bribery with babycinos from an early age...once the jobs were done, we could go for coffee and a 'cino which benefitted us all 😀

There are a lot of mums out there who have had small age gaps and really empathise when they see another mum struggling. I still cringe when my 2 are fighting and there's a smug mum with a sleeping baby in a car seat and an 8 year old reading quietly 😬

It gets better, honest!