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9 year Dd obsessed with her appearance

1 reply

Somethingsosimple · 17/02/2019 09:56

I’m not sure how to handle this. My Dd is becoming quite obsessed with the way she looks. I am not at all like this and would rather not look in a mirror if I can help it! She spends so much time looking at herself and is so fussy about what she wears and how her hair is done. She has an older brother and all her friends are not like this at all so no outside influence that I can think of. We are outdoorsy family so we go for lots of walks etc but we always have to wait while she changes half a dozen times and has to have her right before we can leave. Has anyone any suggestions. Seriously thinking about taking the mirror out of her room!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Apple23 · 17/02/2019 10:45

Some thoughts...
Can she articulate why she needs to do this? Has someone made a remark that she's taken to heart, or is there some bullying going on - either to her or that she's aware of and wants to avoid being the target of? Are her friends the same?

When you tell her to hurry up, we're going out, what triggers the change from obsessing with the mirror to being ready to go? Running out of outfits, someone telling her she looks lovely, everyone else starting to leave, a certain time elapsing? Identifying this might help you find a strategy to reduce the time taken to reach the point of shifting to the next activity.

It would be easy to suggest she misses out on an event whilst she fusses, but judge this one carefully as she may blame her appearance rather than the fussing for missing out and actually become worse.

Have you tried letting her have timed access to a mirror once or twice a day? Let her fuss her appearance as much as she likes, whilst you ignore the behaviour, but once the timer is up, that's it, no more mirrors, until next time. Again, this might or might not help, you will know her and be best able to judge how she would react.

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