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What do I do?!

2 replies

Sallsarr399 · 16/02/2019 17:27

My ex and I have been divorced for about 8 years, due to DV. Last year I got married. My ex and I share a child together she is 9 years old.
Her father and I do have joint custody, however up until autumn she has decided to reside with her father and her family.
During the last year I have been married, she was fine with my husband up until the summer. I know deeply in my heart that he loves her and I’ve seen him treat her as if she’s his own. He use to travel
2 hours from work to come and help her with homework or even to take her to smyths.
Now she doesn’t want to even know him, she doesn’t speak to him or even acknowledge his existence. This upsets him a lot and it does cause us so many problems.
I no longer live where my daughter and I were staying as this was my mums house. Every Sunday we go to my mothers house to meet, my husband usually leaves to go see his friends or run his errands as he feels disrespected in a way. My family and I have all explained and asked my daughter as to why she’s doing this and whether she can at least say hello and be civil. Her answer is clearly no.
I have spoken to her dad, who says that he will try to help. I know for a fact that he and his family have been brainwashing my daughter against my
Husband, as this is something completely in their nature. She has slowly turned against my family claiming they do not love her. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
I am heavily pregnant, expecting this week to be precise. I am no longer going to my mums for at least two months to heal and get back into routine. I have told her this and explained that my husband has built her a playroom/bedroom, she has to come and visit her new sibling once baby is born. She says she does not want to come to his house. I explained his house is my house and if thats my house it’s also hers. She refuses at every angle.
I just don’t know what to say anymore. Anything I say to her is turning into a negative, I don’t want my own daughter resenting me. I love her so much, she’s been my rock since the day she’s been born but things are getting so difficult. I can’t imagine not seeing her for two
Months or her not being with her sibling for that long.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Frangipane · 16/02/2019 17:34

I am guessing that from the timeline, it was your pregnancy that turned her against your husband. Could it be that she is feeling displaced by the baby? Sorry, I haven't got any advice, but there wasn't any acknowledgement in your post that the pregnancy might have been the thing she is really upset about so I wondered if you had considered it.

Sallsarr399 · 16/02/2019 17:44

Hi @frangipane
My daughter is actually really excited about her new sibling. She’s always asking me when baby will be born and if it’s possible that the baby can be her twin.
It’s the brainwashing from her family. When she was living with me, she wasn’t like this at all.
I was literally messaging her on WhatsApp just now asking how she is etc, and then out of the blue she’s having a go at me for no reason. I’m sure that someone is sitting with her telling her what to write

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