How to teach my 2yo about race

[wellit]

We live in a small village near a town with very few black people unfortunately.

I'm looking for ideas on how to teach my child, who's nearly 2, about different races, cultures and beliefs.

Can anyone direct me to suitable learning guides or have any ideas for play, art, crafts, cooking etc etc?

I want her to have compassion in all things, I have been guilty of 'whitesplaining' when I have not meant to but it was due to lack of understanding and I don't want her to make the same sort of mistakes thus potentially ruining potential friendships. I use gentle parent ideas as a rule so would like to influence by positive experience in all areas so perhaps where cooking is concerned can anyone suggest any native dishes we could try that won't be extremely hotly spiced!

Thank you ☺️

My daughter told me her friend's husband said to their 2 y/o "Oh look! There's a brown person!" He saw absolutely nothing wrong with this.

Why do you need to explain or point stuff like that out at all? Kids learn as they go along. We are all the same, just people, and it's how we all treat each other that counts.

Why do you need to explain or point stuff like that out at all?

You do if you’re aware that your child is growing up in a very uniform environment.

We moved from London to Sussex and I was really aware of just how few ethnic minorities there are in our new town. I have made sure that the dcs questions about appearance differences are answered. I also challenge any views that they might have - and it has happened simple out of ignorance. (I’m mixed race myself).

I didn’t feel the need to buy any special books or anything.

Well we are not Chinese, nor do I personally know any Chinese people that I can think of, however I feel it was important to visit and join in (and point out!) the activities surrounding the Chinese New Year for example...because I feel it's important to learn things from all over the world, I cannot afford to visit these places so want to learn from home where possible.

I’m honestly not being sarcastic but why can’t younjust watch CBeebies with your child? It is wonderfully inclusive. Especially programmes such as Apple Tree House, My World Kitchen and a programme about children living all over the world. They also have a programme on at specific times of the year called Let’s Celebrate which explains all different festivals and holy days for different religions absolutely cultures.

I agree. What I meant by 'learning as they go along' is that kids will naturally ask questions, and then you answer in an age-appropriate way. I'm mixed race too, so I guess that informs my perspective. And I think that racism, whether intentional or not, is passed down by ignorant adults.

Yeeeeees ... I do wonder if the children who announce they have seen a "brown person / muddy person / person dipped in chocolate / man with funny eyes" have ever seen CBeebies?

Treating other races as somehow different in the first step towards racism. It’s a very fine line you are treading OP. I would suggest taking your dd to places that are more diverse and exposing her to different cultures rather than whitesplaining other cultures to her. I grew up in a racially very diverse country. They achieved social cohesion by encouraging everyone to share their own cultures but not connecting this to race or treating the cultures as anything more than culture in general or the culture of the country as a whole (cultural practices were open to criticism). It was very much a case of these cultural practices came from different places but became a part of one evolving dynamic culture. I grew up surrounded by people from different places who did different things and that was just how it was. The only area where they failed to create this cohesion is where the indigenous peoples were concerned. The government had treated them horribly in the past, the consequences of that were ongoing. Other non white races had also been mistreated but where they had been included along with everyone else the indigenous groups were singled out. They viewed themselves as different. Most other people viewed them as different. The European style of racism (let’s patronise the ignorant natives type racism) persists. The only way to teach children about different cultures without creating imaginary boundaries between them (the basis of racism) is to treat all culture as human culture. As she gets older she will be able to understand that some practices are more common amongst people from certain places/of certain places but hopefully she will realise that Chinese New Year isn’t a Chinese thing, it’s a major cultural practice in Chiba and many people of Chinese origin celebrate it but it’s not ok to go up to someone who is Chinese and act on the assumption that the hey celebrate it for example.

Just watch TV, read lots of books, treat everyone nicely and ask any questions when they come up.

I just taught mine that every body is different and if they asked I would answer them.

We live semi-rural so don't have a huge range of ethnicities here but they learn lots about these things in nursery, at school and just naturally in our daily lives so I've never felt the need to force it.

I wouldn't say/ do anything unless she approaches the subject.
I often think that by pointing out differences you create them... and not always in a positive way.

But for the future, tell her we all look different and like different things... that makes us unique and interesting... and a long time into the future... tell her she should judge people by who they are - personality- and how she gets on with a particular person... that is what I tell my DC and they have a great mix of friends from many different backgrounds.

I taught mine by not teaching them.

I didn't actively point out any differences. They grew up to realise that was normality. I think if you go all out and make a big deal out of something that is nothing, you cause a bigger problem. 2 year olds don't think like adults.

I think it’s a really good question. BIPOC have no choice but to teach their children about race because their race will impact on their lives and how they experience the world. It’s totally right IMO for white children to also be taught about this so that they can be real allies, to understand that our country is systemically racist, that their friends who are little black boys are more likely to grow up to be excluded from school and go to prison, etc etc. Akala’s book ‘Natives’ is really worth reading, and with your DC I’d just be really honest. People are different colours because of differing amounts of melanin in their skin, it affects their lives because whether we like it or not, our entire society has been founded on whiteness, and we have a responsibility to try and change that.

Those sort of ‘all white’ areas are in my experience 50/50 of racist bastards and lefty liberals trying so hard too prove they love minorities.
Watch CBeebies, visit other places, if DD asks about people who are different to her, explain that we’re all people but we don’t look the same. Just like uncle John wears glasses but mummy doesn’t. Please stop making big deal about other colours. It makes your kids stare at us like animals in a zoo or even worse teaching your kid about the history of black people, so their kids then start telling my kid how sorry they are that people their colour were kept in a cage

(Sorry OP I’m sure you’re lovely but I’ve had it a bit the last few weeks with whitetown)

I want her to have compassion in all things

To be honest, other races and 'cultures' don't want it require your compassion. Stop being so silly!

Just bring up a decent human being.

'don't want or require ...'

So sick of the dead Preview button!

At 2, just point out that different people look different, and can have different colour eyes, hair or skin. Also that different people like different things, or eat different food, or are young or old, tall or short and that some people need a wheelchair. No need to enlarge on the race thing, just include it as one of the many ways that people are different from one another.

But do explain that it is rude to point to somebody and comment on their appearance. As in "Ooh look Mummy, a fat person!!"

All the rest of it can come later.

Ok well I'm trying hard to learn about things I know very little of myself. When questions do arise I'd like to be able to answer the majority immediately rather than having to go looking up the answers. We do watch CBeebies but I try to limit screen time, I love the one where the kids cook and they explain about their culture and the whereabouts of the foods origin so basically my OP was about expanding on this to find more similar information so we can learn as we go so to speak.

It seems no matter how I try to embrace different things I seem to get stone walled like this by most people when I'm making the effort to expand both mine and my child's understanding of things we wouldn't necessarily come across within our home vicinity.

There is a 'culture show' once a year which we attend and things like Chinese New Year celebrations but other things too are seldom so want to do learning within my home daily ideally.
I naively hoped that someone could direct me to a good and easy to follow books on some cultures to start me on the path. I want to teach my child before nursery/school starts (where currently there's one family who attends that aren't white) in the same way I teach her to count etc before she begins her official learning within the education system.

Also, we are different, we celebrate things in different ways and eat different food and worship in different ways. I'd like to learn about these things, can anyone guide me in a productive way?

[Post edited by MNHQ at user's request due to privacy concerns]

I grew up in a 'white' area. I was never taught about race. I did visit other places and I said to a black man if you come to Britain you will lose your tan. Children are not naturally prejudice I don't think. I'm not sure why you need to teach your children explicitly about it. Just go with it and let it naturally evolve. Wait til your child asks questions etc. agree with @Sicario and @Yivamoon.

Wow @Newbuild that's incredibly prejudice, but it is okay if you comment on all white areas in this way, but not if you commented on asian areas of course. What the 'lefty liberals' (you sound like one btw) fail to understand is that ethnic minorities in this country can be racist. Growing up in an 'all white' area I went to school with girls who weren't allowed to mix with white people, another girl whose sister had to run away from home because she had a white boyfriend. I have worked with a colleague who married a white person and the whole community turned against her parents because they had supported her marrying a white person. I have had to challenge a few indian people who have said openly that they hate 'pakis'.

And sometimes I think children do innocently notice differences, so I'm not sure saying that they have seen a 'brown person' is a big issue. but perhaps something to be explored. In fact I know of someone who is mixed race who call herself this, rather than black. In the case of me saying this bloke would lose his tan- he found it hilarious.

It seems no matter how I try to embrace different things I seem to get stone walled like this by most people

Stonewalled?

Come on OP, you are asking about 2 year olds and race differences. It's hardly 'stonewalling' to suggest you don't need to do much at this stage.

Ethnic minorities cannot be racist. They can be prejudiced, which is not the same.

OP, read Natives, and also look up Layla F Saad on Instagram.

@Whatsallthisaboutthen thank you I will take a look at that book

Comment re ethnic minorities was for rubyroot btw, looks random now the thread’s moved on.

That's hilarious- ethnic minorities can't be racist. Oh my! I understand what racism thanks, my dear!

With all due respect OP, making such a fuss about learning about culture comes across as patronising and PLEASE stop focussing on how few black people there are in your area.

They are just a family in your area, it's almost like you are singling them out as some sort of learning project for your daughter.

There are lots of books and resources about cultural practices, religions etc etc in your local library if you feel the need to know all the details.