Car seat struggles

[laurac11]

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice about car seat struggles with my baby. He is currently 8 months old and the last few weeks has started refusing to sit down in the car seat. As soon as I lower him into the seat, he flips over, arches his back and stands up. If I try to buckle up his straps he thrashes around and gets very upset. This has escalated to the extent that I'm now unable to get him in at all and I'm getting very stressed and anxious. I'm sure he is now picking up on my fears too which is making it worse. Has anyone experienced these issues when their child was 8 months and has some advice? I've found lots of posts around toddlers but none for my son's age group. I would really appreciate any advice, Thank you

We mainly use my car as it's much newer and has isofix, DHs car sits on the drive a lot because he cycles to work so we've not upgraded it for ages, and rarely use it with DS, it's a ford but surprisingly didn't come with isofix. We bought the official ford isofix conversion kit for about £20 and DH was able to fit it himself, might be worth it for you if it gives you a wider range of car seats to look at

it’s recommended to rear face until at least 4 years old for maximum safety. Most car seats now which can rear or forward face and even which solely forward face will advise on the packaging that rear facing until 4 is recommended. You can google the reasons for this and watch videos comparing impact with rear facing and forward facing seats. Various groups issue lists of affordable rear facing and Joie seems to crop up as well regarded and inexpensive - here’s one for £65 which rear faces to 18kg and doesn’t need isofix. www.uberkids.com/joie-tilt-group-0-1-car-seat-1267374/

Nb for those on larger percentiles like yours then they will need a 25kg seat to get them to 4 years old - check your red book to see when they’ll likely hit 18kg and imagine yours will be before 4. Mine’s is the same so I have the Minikid but that’s £350. Someone else mentioned the Britax Two Way Elite and I think that’s 25kg and maybe around £150 mark. £50 quid per year of use out of it from now... Nb no 25kg erf (extended tear facing) seats use isofix they’re all tethered (into floor bars in our case). But even if you bought the £65 Joie one and kept them in that until they outgrow it between 3 and 4 it would still be significantly safer than having them forward face from 9 months 👍🏻

We have the Axkid Minikid as our DD main seat. But as mentioned that seat was around £350 so quite expensive.

My 8month old is still in his infant car seat and he is on the 98th centile for height and has lots of space still, are you entirely sure your wee one is outgrown his infant seat? Have you pulled him right down so his nappy is touching the buckle part of the seat? Could you do that and put a book across the top? If he is under the book. He fits.

We also have 4 of these seats, we will move my DD into this in my car as she is only 14kg and 3.5yrs so can rear face in this until 18kg. And put my son in the mini kid.

Have another 2 for my husbands car and one for MIL car, they are really really easy to swap between cars so could you maybe do with just one at the minute? And move it? If you can't afford to buy 2 in one month.

Also on mat leave on zero pay now so I do understand but it is a baby essential if travelling in cars.

Probably the most important bit of baby safety equipment you will buy.

www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/baby/car-seats-and-bases/group-0-1%7c-birth-4-years-approx-/joie-stages-group-0-1-2-car-seat-ember/p/155675

Or that tilt one is a great price! 👍🏼

I feel your pain OP. My second son was like this. He hated the car until he was about 15 months. Every day was a challenge!

I gave him things but it didn't always work, like flashing balls, my keys, other toys. Maybe give him something to eat (obs you'd make sure he'd finish before leaving his side), thinking like a ella's fruit pouch or something? Whilst you strap him in.

I agree 100% with all the rear racing comments. Son has just come out of his as a 75 centile boy who just met the weight limit (just) for his car seat and he's 4 in a few months. Please keep yours rear racing as long as possible.

Good luck OP. My son grew out of this and I hope yours does too very soon.

OP, definitely something to distract. Like a pp has said keys or toy of some sort to play with whilst you put him in.

Mummy, take a look at Joie Steadi as well. I would recommend doing a car seat fitting before purchasing though as with belted car seats you also want to check for buckle crunch or forward anchorage.

www.goodeggcarsafety.com/blog/what-does-buckle-crunch-mean-update.html

Forward anchorage is where the seat belt plugs in further forwards than the where the belt path of the seat begins meaning it doesn't hold the seat very securely.

Oh you are all very good. I just use my arm as a brace while they fight me to the death, realise they aren’t getting anywhere and slump back in defeat for a moment - and that’s when you strike!!! Do the buckle up as fast as you can!!!

I have to buckle in two so I am battle weary.

Bribery and distraction. Then a little later around the 18 month age range my little darling figured out how to undo the straps. That r esulted in the car stopping and us sitting by the side of the road till she stayed strapped in.

DD is 4 now and i still maintain that the car doesnt work if the straps are not done up.

My DH spent 40 mins outside nursery with the same problem. Staff kept offering to help, but he's a man

I used to hold DS next to the car and sing his favourite song, blow raspberries on his nose and tickle his toes. I'd try to associate getting in the car with other things I knew he liked. Then when it came to putting him in the seat, he started off happier. Then he's unable to resist or 'do the banana' if he is giggling and being tickled.

It took longer but less stressful overall and I never really had to deal with the standoff DH did. He did eventually get over himself and now as a 7 yo he gets in fine and happy to do his own seat belt. It gets easier!

Hi there @Mummyof1Boy just to say I turned both of my children forward facing at 9 months as I genuinely felt the hours of screaming they did in the car was more dangerous for them. My husband doesn’t drive and often it was just me driving the kids and I found the screaming so distracting I thought I would crash. We basically stopped driving anywhere for months but it wasn’t practical long term. Lots happier facing forwards in a safe seat I got professionally fitted.

They must be rear-facing until your child is over 15 months old. Your child can use a forward-facing child car seat when they're over 15 months old. You must check the seat to make sure it's suitable for the height of your child. Only EU-approved height-based child car seats can be used in the UK. GOV.UK website

They do have to rear face until 15 months. MY DS (now 4) hated his car seat and screamed blue murder until we put in into a front facing car seat at 9 months - which was legal back in 2015. I get car sick if I can't see where I'm going and it was possible that he was the same. He's fine in the car now.

thank you very much everyone for your advice, I've tried all the tips and things are improving!