Desperately trying to sort a routine and failing

[Northernbeachbum]

DS 8m has no routine whatsoever except a bath time in the evening which leads to bedtime routine and sleep. I really would love one and i think it would help him nap more easily however anything and everything seems to make it impossible unless we stay in the house at all times!! If he wakes early he naps earlier, if we do an activity he will stay awake to do it, if we drive anywhere he will likely fall asleep, if we get caught in traffic his meal will be late etc

So how on earth do i impliment one and still go to groups and classes that involve a journey to and from them?!?!? Min of a 30 min drive to groups too and obviously things such as baby sensory they are on at a set time

Would a loose routine work? I have a loose routine with six and a half month old but some days it changes otherwise we’d be restricted to the house all day every day. During the week isn’t so bad but we like to get out and about as a family at the weekends. I wouldn’t say we do everything at the same time, maybe within half an hour either earlier or later. At the minute I’m trying to be home for DD main nap which is lunch time but early nap and late nap can be taken in the pram or car if i want to get out and if I’m going somewhere for a few hours i’ll take milk and food with me. I wouldn’t let the stress of a routine take over, it sounds great but sometimes is more trouble than it’s worth!

The only reason I'm bothered really as it can take him a while to wind down for a nap as he's clearly shattered but not in the right frame of mind. Also i feel like a terrible mum when people say "oh what time does he nap" and i reply "sometime between 9 and 11 for an hour or so and sometime between 3 and 5 for an hour or so" 🙈 he has milk before a nap so that changes times.

Id say maybe we do have a very very vague one but its probably more towards an hour and a half leeway for everything.

Mine napped in the pushchair, so I could time walking somewhere for when he'd drop off for a bit e.g. going round some shops. Would that work for you?

On a good day, yes and I do try to do that. However some days noseyness wins out and he screams if I lie him down as he wants to see what's going on 🤦‍♀️

I must sound so ridiculous not managing to sort this by now as everyone else seems to have it coordinated

Haha other people may appear coordinated but they all start somewhere.
If your current routine is working for you then I wouldn't change it for other people making comments ..if it suits you at the minute then carry on?

He can take well over an hour to settle for a nap despite being tired so i thought it might help him. He settles much faster after his set bedtime with bedtime routine. Although maybe a naptime routine would do more?!

We're not ones for routine at all and i often forget a meal for me if I'm busy but i know he needs a bit of one at least

My DS is 6 months and has no daytime routine at all. He wakes different times (within an hour time span). Naps different times due to classes/seeing friends as he won't nap in a cafe or at people's houses. The ONLY thing we have consistently is bedtime routine and time. Feeds aren't on a routine either (bf).

Some days I feel like he should be in more of a routine. But more often than not I don't stress about it as I am the sort of person who could get really stressed out about timings etc. So I am going with the flow.

Not helpful to you but just wanted you to know you aren't alone :)

Almost 8 months here and no routine to speak of either. My Second child. First one was the same. Don’t worry! It doesn’t matter! Lots of my friends are the same. Waking baby from naps on a schedule etc. But I’m the same as you...if baby wakes early, he naps early. Car journies, baby groups etc all mess with a “schedule”. I honestly wouldn’t worry. Try to remember that he is just a baby. And at the end of the day, babies kind of do what they want - however much we adults like to tell ourselves we’re the ones in control 😉

I tried loads of things to get DS in to a routine. What worked for me was 2/3/4. Wake up +2 hours is 1st nap, Wake up from that + 3 hours for 2nd nap then +4 hours for bedtime, I kept getting stressed that he wasn't napping at the right time or for long enough / too long.

For food, I do it halfway between milk feeds , which were roughly every 4 hours so food 1.5-2 hours after milk. I didn't put a routine in place for milk he did that by himself.

Glad to know I'm not the only one winging it day to day! I have cut his naps down which seems to have improved night time sleeping.

He used to have a routine like yours @cazinge but he's dropped to two naps a day relatively recently and we've yet to nail it and actually we're too busy to try different things

Thanks all

Realised i read yours wrong @cazinge, might try that thank you

Yep, 2/3/4 works for us too (at least it did until DD turned 1 and dropped her morning nap!). I just make the room dark, put her in her sleeping bag and kiss her goodnight - so a mini version of her bedtime routine.

@peachygreen i wish my boy went down for a nap/sleep as easily as that! Sounds amazing!

Tried it today but it was more 4/3/2 due to nap refusals

Oh man, she doesn't Bedtime she does, absolutely beautifully, but naptime she's only just started occasionally actually going down and she's a year old! But it was worth persevering, even if I did give up most days and cuddle her for naps!

Yeah thats whats happening here....although i do love the cuddly naps i have to admit as i know one day he won't want them anymore

From what I remember - lol - it can take a few days for a new routine to start working. And sometimes not every day can be the same teething, development advances, the weather haha - just try n see what works for you both.
For my kid it was sleeping in a pitch black room, and mostly the same time on naps everyday. I remember thinking how do people miss sleep cues lol but now I cant even think of one - when she was wee 2/3/4 didn't work for me. It was a bit more like up at seven asleep at half eight etc and then awake til after lunch no naps after four but just depends on bedtime.

I’ve got six month old twins and zero routine other than they like to go to bed at the same time. If mine nap for twenty minutes twice a day I consider myself lucky!

You’re not alone op

We've stopped caring and he seems happy enough and naps when hes tired and eats when hes hungry.