13 week old always crying

[Isthisforever]

Help!! My 13 week old dd feels like all she does is cry, winge or scream... she was diagnosed lactose intolerant and silent reflux at 6 weeks. She's lactose free now and they prescribed a thickener for her milk, she's a hundred times better doesn't scream in pain anymore but she is such a whiny moany baby.. she literally never smiles, she hasn't ever laughed yet not sure if it's to early or not? I spend the whole day trying to keep her from crying. If I put her on the changing mat she cries, if I put her in the car seat she cries, pram.. cries! Car.. cries! Lay her on my bed while I get ready.. cries! Put her down to put my shoes on.. cries! Literally at anything and everything, I'm at my whits end, we tried for a long time to get pregnant (3 years) now I finally have the baby I've always wanted and I'm not enjoying a single minute of being a mum :-(

That all sounds super normal. DD is 6 months and will scream herself to sleep in the car seat. Do you take her to any baby classes or meet up with other mum's? Have you spoken to your doctor about PND? Give your head and wobble and remember you are no doubt exhausted, busy etc but your focusing on the negative and that's not a nice way to parent your daughter.

You poor thing! That is rough. 💐

It isn't forever and it does get easier.

Ignore the judgemental PP, it is not normal for a baby to cry ALL the time and there's nothing wrong with finding it hard. It is hard. I have an 11 week old who hardly ever cries, but her older brother cried for about 3 hours a day and it drove me crazy. Having another baby has made me realise how tough it was with my first, but it did get easier, he is a (mostly) lovely toddler now, who laughs and smiles all the time.

Being frustrated with a baby for crying doesn't mean you are a bad parent. I found that leaving him somewhere safe and having a little break from the crying helped (ie, leave baby in a Moses basket by the window and go outside so you can see baby is safe but can't hear the cries).

I would double check there is not another medical reason why your poor little one is crying so much.

Hang in there, it really does get easier.

Ask the Doctor to prescribe Ranitidine. It helped my DD when she had reflux.

blackcat86 really? You give your head a wobble.

OP, that sounds stressful, hopefully she'll continue to make improvements. Standard MN question, have you got a sling? That might help if she hates the pram and you'll have your hands free. Some babies just aren't keen on being babies, once they can roll and sit up the world gets a lot more fun.

You have my sympathies OP, I went through it with DS who is now 3, he didn’t have any diagnosed medical things like reflux etc, I always put it down to colic and simply that he was a baby who cried a lot. Even family members used to comment on how much he cried, which didn’t help! But he is now the happiest, most loving little 3 year old who reliably sleeps through and eats up all his meals without a fuss. I’ve got a 4 month old DS now as well and he too does cry a fair bit, although not so much as his brother did by any means. So often I believed it to be down to overtiredness, it really can make them so cranky and wound up. If you know she’s fed and got her wind up, clean nappy etc and still crying then my bets would be tiredness. I think as well come that stage it’s like they properly realise they aren’t in your tummy any more and are so overwhelmed by this big world and all there is to see, hear, touch etc. You’re not a bad parent by any means, it is so so so frustrating. But please be kind to yourself, when she’s sleeping do something nice for yourself, whatever it may be, nice big coffee and a bun and read a book or watch an episode of something you enjoy. As everyone says, it absolutely does get easier.

@Isthisforever - are you there? Hope you're ok.

@antipodeanjo thank you for your support! Had a particularly rough day today resulting in both of us crying.. I'm going to speak to my health visitor tomorrow as I feel there must be more to her unhappiness than "it's just her personality" which is what they keep telling me! She sleeps well at night but won't nap in the day much if I can get her to sleep it's a huge fight and very brief 😩

I hope it goes well with the health visitor today @Isthisforever!

I second @Wallsbangers that a sling can be really handy. My LO hates structured slings, but is in a wrap sling atm and she usually naps whilst I cook/ shop/ run after the toddler.

I'd try a wrap or something. Some babies prefer being upright. Mine cheered up a lot once she could sit up.

So sorry you are having a horrible time OP. I went through a period of about 3 weeks of this with my DS when he was about 2 months old. It didn't matter what I did, he would cry. It was exhausting and so mentally draining. Like your baby he would sleep well at night but wasn't resting during the day and eventually I discovered this was the problem. He was so horribly overtired and just miserable. So I started swaddling, using white noise and trying harder to encourage him to nap during the day. When this did happen he was SO much happier. He is now a (mostly) content happy laughy 6 month old. Although can still be a whinge bag :D. I hope things improve for you soon xx