Am I out of line

[user1496701154]

Keep snapping at other half, we both have anxiety and depression and a one and a half year old. I take my son out everyday to playgroups. I tidy the house the living room this morning expecting him to hover am I over reaction. He did the washing up after we argued tonight. I don't get alot of help with our son although he's been better I volunteered on a Wednesday afternoon and he has him them and said he enjoyes having him with is positive

Are you asking if you are out of order for asking for help from your partner?

If you both have anxiety and depression, can I ask what you are doing to improve your mental health?

I am going out alot walking everywhere. It helps me I disagree we both disagree with tablets they help in short term not long term. We've both been through counselling so it's not like we not helping ourselves yes I am asking of am out of line asking for him to help. He had choric anxiety z depression and partial argophopia thought he goes out every Wednesday afternoon with our son

You are not unreasonable asking him to help. My partner works full time and I am a full time mum but he still comes home and helps me with every day chores and does so much with our children.
Its very difficult having depression/anxiety.. I know this very well but my partner is the complete opposite and has never suffered with this illness so I can't imagine how hard this is that you both have it.
It's really good that you are taking steps to manage your illness and are taking your toddler out to playgroups.
What is your routine like at home with your little one? Does your partner help much?

Sorry you did state you don't get a lot of help with your son.. can i ask what your partner's day entails?

My routine is I get up with son make his breakfast,get him and myself ready, get ready for a toddler group Mon,Tue, Thurs,Friday morning. Then back home for lunch make our lunch. Go to next toddlers group this is on Mon,Tue, Thursday on Friday we go to a friends for lunch. After afternoon toddlers most days I gontonpark or little one comes home for a nap or play in bedroom then I make tea, get son ready for bed then settle him for bed. Other half usaly watches him when am making meals. My other things in a morning are following the orgsasied mom method, so before I leave the house is put washing machines on. Sweep floors, wipe kitchen benches.

My other half routine is basically get up and sit on sofa playing games. I have to ask him to do things I forgot to ask him to hover today but I was out at 9 and the living room was all cleaned and toys tidyed away before I left for toddler group so I got irrated as he woke me up later at 7pm I fell asleep and asked me to go to shop for snacks when is been to town earlier in the day and he knew it and could of called so this annoyed me.

You sound like a fantastic mum and are doing so much for your baby to keep him in a good socialised routine and to also keep on top of your house and other jobs.

Your partner sounds very lazy (without sounding awful) I really needs to pull gis weight and help you. You are not been unreasonable at all.. if i was you id be cutting the bloody plug off the tv and his games consoles or throwing him out of the house.
Does he do anything at all off his own back for you or your baby boy?

Thank you :) it's a busy life with a toddler. Hey thanks for your reply. Not much really. He blames mental health alot but I honestly think if he moved off the chair more it would help alot. Think the last thing he's done was look for a bookcase for me and a stand mixer but I want more house help I can keep on top of a lot just not the hovering as little one is terrified of it :(. He will run me a bath ocassionly when I say o want one and give the son a bath but that's it. I can't kick him out his house

I think you need to sit and have a discussion with him hun and just explain that you are doing a lot and need help without having to ask for it.

You struggle with mental health but that is not stopped you putting your boy first.

We all have those bad crippling days when dealing with mental health but when you have a child you have to get up and get on and try the best you can.

He needs to take the steps to controlling his mental health.

Does he offer to take your little one to the park or go to a toddler group with you? This would help him. He needs to be setting an example for your child.

I think you are right there I do struggle to talk to him he has an unapproachable persona even though he says am fine to anytime. However when I feel like it he is on a game :/.

We do indeed. I didn't do as much over the weekend put I was looking after.y little lad on sofa whilst been sick all day and he didn't even take him for an hour as he been up till 4.30am

He said tonight he needs to go to more toddler groups. We are all doing an activity with my son next week a payed for day our with him doing arts and crafts so he's coming to thar it's just one say and he ocassionly comes on a Tuesday afternoon. We'd afternoon he has little lad so I don't know what he does then. He says the weather puts him off going to park. I still manage I do prefer warmer but there is also a few softplay around here

I would definately arrange a soft play day out where all of you can enjoy it.

Also id suggest a no games policy until your boy is in bed, ask your partner to do the bedtime routine, brush teeth, read him books.. just generally have more of a routine

Would that help?

Your partner definately needs more structure in his day, your little boy needs to see this from his daddy I think

You sound like a good mum but the situation does not sound healthy.

He should be helping out with the baby. You should both be seeking medical help for your MH issues and provide a sensible, structured daily & weekly routine for little one.

Right one thing straight yes we have mental health but guess what there is not always help we both have had it. Thanks i think am a good mom a bit worned thin thought. little one does have a structured rountie I know the parenter really needs the better one. Oh bedtime my son screams unless it is me. Oh plays games as I guess am out all day normally so he don't do anything else his mental health is choricn he's had the help before and lists for help again he's on are a year +. I should know just done the most useless counseling session which made me worse. I feel terribly today little one decided 2.15 was get up and has been up since only went to sleep 6.45 to wake up an hour later and I have stuff to do today

Werewolf going to have a chat tonight so hopefully it helps we discussed doing alternative days for washing up. I guess it's not much but it's a start I think.

Well today we talked and I had lots of help :). He took the bin out, looked after the little one one the afternoon so I could have a nap. Made tea and hoveer the living room. Made the little one snacks and a drink an hour before tea has my pjs set out for when I got back from playgroup. Little one had been up since 2.25am with me so I got a relax after our normal rountie. Then he said he's taking me out in Sunday for a meal. We are going out Monday and Tuesday for family day time :0

Sounds absolutely lovely and like the chat really helped. Hope you have some lovely days out with your little family Xxx

Thank I think so he's even got me a valentine's present which was gave today as it's busy toddler group tommrow z he said he's going to make tea tommrow and we watching a movie as long as little one goes down :)