Okay so here goes, maybe I will get ripped into for this maybe I won't but After recent experiences it's something that has been playing on my mind. Sit down with a brew this is a long post, I don't want to miss anything out or drip feed.
In 2015 at the age of 19 I found myself in a very physically abusive relationship. This man was utterly vile but I thought at the time it was normal love. The abuse got too much to the point where I eventually ran for my life naked on a main road to a police station for fear he was actually going to murder me. He was charged with 7 counts of aggravated domestic assault and I left him for good.
A month later....i found out I was actually 3 months pregnant (huge shock I have POS) i decider I would continue with the pregnancy despite the obvious complications. At 8 months pregnant I was forced to stand in court and give evidence against this man for the assaults. He sat with his girlfriend who listened to him talk about how he had strangled me to the point of passing out and kicked me down the stairs, he laughed in my face as the judge handed him a 2 year suspended sentance. My heart hurt. I worried dearly for his new girlfriend who also had a four week old baby.
My little boy was born beautiful and healthy. And even despite everything I told his father he could have supervised contact, because it was his right.... He came twice. Told me he now had a real family and didn't want to know. Fine I picked myself up dusted myself off and put my all into raising my boy. I met a loving and amazing man who took on my son despite the baggage I had. A year later I had a call from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. He had attacked her and gotten arrested....several times. My heart hurt for this girl knowing the pain she must have been feeling but at the same time I wanted to shake her because she sat and listened in court and she still put herself in that position.
Afew weeks later she had taken him back. At this point my son hasn't seen him since he was 10 days old and at this point was 15 months. Another phone call.... He not only attacked her this time....he threatened to murder her 18 month old baby. He trashed the house and held a pillow over the babies face, didn't kill her but sure came close. He was arrested and this time was charged with affray, threats to kill and assaulting an infant with intent. He was given 36 months in prison. He served 16 months. When he got out I received a letter from a solicitors claiming he now wants access to his son. I complied and let him take me to court. The case was dismissed on the grounds of him being a danger. My son has ASD and doesn't adapt well to change. Now here is where I am starting to have an issue with the system.
It was dismissed..... until he has completed 30 anger management sessions....because it is his right.
This man has not seen my now 3 years old son since he was 10 days old. He has almost killed an 18 month old baby and battered and heated me and another woman black and blue. And it is his RIGHT to see his son?!
He has never paid a penny towards his upbringing. Hasn't been around when he was given the chance. Went to anger management after I had taken him to court and that never made a difference?! But again it is his right?!
What about my right as a mother. My right to say no? I know what is best for my son and it sure as hell is not him. He is not capable of change and some people never are. Fathers rights? Utter bollocks. Mothers deserve a say too! I will fight it to the end. Not a chance.