DH overly negative language towards ds

[Iggly]

This has been brewing for a while but I wanted some opinions before raising with dh.

Sometimes I think dh leaps to the worst possible conclusions about ds’s motivation for his behaviour and thinks the absolute worst of him. DS is 9.

I think that DS is 9, he’s a bit scatty and doesn’t always think.

For example, DS was feeding the pets with some hay and sprinkling it which meant it could have got into their eyes. Cue DH crossly telling DS he was bullying the pets and we will think about getting rid.

Another time ds handled one of the pets a little roughly cue DH telling ds he had hit the it (DS adores them so wouldn’t have ever done this!). DS got very upset and DH kept repeating it. I took DH to one side and suggested he might want to think about how he was phrasing things and to stop acting like he assumed the worst of ds.

Dh uses very dramatic over the top language and I’m finding it quite wearing. He’s generally quite a negative person and will always give a reason why something can’t be done or something is a bad idea. You kind of have to coax anything positive out of him! And he’s doing the same with ds.

Has anyone got any experience of this?

Dh sounds a little pessimistic. I think you do need to have a talk with him. He might be defensive or not see it all but atleast it will be in the back of his mind and he will begin to start to rethink his words. The way he speaks to ds will have an affect on whether they have a good relationship or a bad relationship. So possibly tell him that? Ds Is approaching pre adolescence which means in the next 2/3 years he will begin to become extremely sensitive as the brain at this age releases a excessive amount of neurones. Which happen at the age of 3 and around adolescence. Therefor he needs to be very very careful on how to speak to ds now as his words will begin to affect him and his relationship with dh. I'll link my source below. Basically what I'm trying to say is that as ds reaches pre adolescence he is going to begin to go through a huge change mentality so a little extra care in words might be helpful to keep a healthy relationship between each other as well as avoid any rebellion or elevated emotions. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.. hope I didn't drag it out or go out of context.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201312/why-is-the-teen-brain-so-vulnerable%3famp