Work or stay home

[sparkles87]

Looking for people perspectives on working or staying home to look after your babies.

I have a baby who I conceived via IVF after years of trying. When I finished work for maternity leave my husband and I agreed that I wouldn't return and Id stay at home until our child went to school or possibly get a part time job 2 days a week if I wanted to work.

I told my employer that I wasn't intending on returning, their response was to offer me a huge promotion to encourage me back. The catch is id need to return for the new academic year in September (originally due to return in January) and I'd need to be full time, at least for a start. This offer comes with a 15k a year pay rise, doubling my salary.

I'm so torn on what to do. A big part of me wants to stay home with my baby but doing so would mean money would be tight, no holidays or many luxuries. Returning to this opportunity would mean we'd have plenty of money for holidays/days out. There's no way I would of returned to my old position, the financial benefit wouldn't outweigh leaving my baby. I work in a school so I'd have all the holidays off with him. I don't think I'd get an opportunity for a promotion like this again if I turn it down now.

What do you all do, work or stay home and what are your reasons.

Would you be returning to work full time?

In these circumstances I would definitely go back to work. Especially if you get to work term time only!

I'd take the job. That's a fab opportunity and term time only means long holidays with your baby. Congratulations!

I was going to say stay home (I say as a working mum who loves her job but would give it up in a heart beat to be with my baby) - however you get school holidays off...go back to work if the money is there, enough holidays to make it bearable
IMO.

Yes I'd have to return full time.. there wouldn't be scope for reduced hours unless I went back in my old position, but I wouldn't do that.. the extra money wouldn't be enough to make it worth it.

There's so many pros to going back, but they're only babies for such a short time, he's already growing up so quick! But I guess he'd have so much more if I worked, holidays, days out.. all would be a struggle if it was only my husband earning

Your ds must be very young now so it's hard to imagine being apart from him so much. You would need to be very happy with the childcare - that makes all the difference.

How old is your baby? If you’re talking about going back when your baby is 6 months old, no, no promotion would be worth it for me. But after a year or so at home, you may find you’re happier having a bit more balance in life.

I’m on my 2nd mat leave and no way in hell could I be a SAHP. It’s such hard work. The balance of both working and being at home makes for such an easier, happier life. I’ve gone back part time when mine were about a year both times. Going straight back in to full time work is hard, but being at home full time was also pretty soul destroying. I found a balance between the two has worked best. I’m going back from mat leave to a 10k promotion. It will be full time eventually but they are happy for me to stay part time as long as I want.

I would focus on your baby for now and not rush back to work but also be open to the fact that being at home long term isn’t the only option. If you have a good offer now, more will likely come along in time.

Depends what would make you happy.
For me, I was so desperately grateful to finally have my miracle baby that no job would have persuaded me to go back and miss those first few years but it's different for everyone.

It sounds like you are in an industry where it would be term time work anyway and you could always get something when you were ready but would you regret passing up this amazing opportunity?

I thought PT work was the best of all worlds. After a few yrs even PT became too much for me. But then after 8 yrs as SAHM I eagerly went back to work so that I could see less of my children (mix of PT & FT contracts).

Isn't it great that we have choices?! DH has also done a mix of SAHD, FT & currently is PT.

I'd definitely take it if it's term time only- best of both worlds.