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Parenting

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Original poster

My 18 year old daughter

22 replies

Lilpurdy · 08/02/2019 22:42

My 18 year old daughter has been dating for 1 year. A nice young boy. She has more or less admitted that they are sexually active.

Are we irresponsible not ensuring she uses appropriate contraception by bringing her to the doctor for advice. Or if I take her to the doctor are we “giving her the green light” (quote from my husband) to have sex at her age and continue if perhaps their relationship fails.

We really in a dilemma and don’t feel we can discuss with anyone.

OP posts:

Fevertree · 08/02/2019 22:44

She's 18 it's not up to you to 'give the green light'. Ask her if she is using contraception and if not would she like you to accompany her to the dr. That's all you can do at this age!

avenueq · 08/02/2019 22:45

I can only say that I encouraged my dd at 17 when she got into a relationship to see a doctor. I might have given her the green light, but I don't mind if I have - I don't see what's wrong with having sex at that age.

Boobiliboobiliboo · 08/02/2019 22:45

Christ almighty.

She can vote. She can move out. She can join the army and die for her country.

She’s allowed to decide if she wants to sleep with someone. Anyone. And it’s got bugger all to do with you.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 08/02/2019 22:48

She doesn’t need a green light from anyone to have sex, least of all with her long term boyfriend.

I’m sure she’s sorted contraception. She’s an adult woman. Trust her to look after herself.

Ribbonsonabox · 08/02/2019 22:48

Your husband is being ridiculous. You should at the very least ask her if she is being responsible with protection. She is an adult. As her parent your role is to make sure she is being responsible.

Singlenotsingle · 08/02/2019 22:50

She's not your little girl any more

JuniperBeer · 08/02/2019 22:50

She’s 18. Being sexually active at 18 is not dirty or something to be ashamed of.
By all means check if she needs anything or pass comment about making sure she’s being careful, but if it is only NOW at 18 you are discussing contraception with your daughter you’re 4 years too late.
Hopefully you’ve raised a clever girl, who already knows about contraception because you’ve spoken about it during her teens, she’s had sex education at school?

SemperIdem · 08/02/2019 22:52

are you religious?

PortiaCastis · 08/02/2019 22:53

This has to be a spoof

YouCantTourniquetTheTaint · 08/02/2019 22:56

You're on a windup surely?

Original poster

Lilpurdy · 09/02/2019 08:06

Thanks for all the messages. It looks like we are being over protective possibly!!!?

OP posts:

Fairylea · 09/02/2019 08:08

Wow. She’s 18! An adult. You’re way, way over involved!

NerrSnerr · 09/02/2019 08:16

She's 18! It's likely they are having sex. Did you speak to her when she was growing up about contraception?

user1487194234 · 09/02/2019 09:36

Her business totally .Can you remember when you were 18 ,and how this would have made you feel.

Jackshouse · 09/02/2019 11:34

Admit it? You admit something bad. An adult in a long term relationship having sex is not a bad thing.

I would assume before the age of 18 and at some point before she has been going out with someone for a year you would have discussed safe sex (contraception, STI and consent) with her. If not, then drop it into conversation.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2019 11:35

Huh ?

ChrisPrattsFace · 09/02/2019 11:38

At 18, if my mother told me to go to doctors but I had to understand it wasn’t a green light for sexual activity.... I’d be mortified.
She’s an adult, you have no say in her activities.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 09/02/2019 11:41

"Possibly being over protective"

She's 18. She's been legally old enough to consent for two years (assuming you're in the UK). You don't have to like it, but it's none of your business.

TheSmallAssassin · 09/02/2019 13:22

If she's 18, I'm sure she can go to the doctor or family planning clinic or her own!

She doesn't need a, green light from you or your husband. It's perfectly fine for her to have sex in this relationship or casually, if that's what she wants to do.

Your job was to bring her up to know how to look after herself, now it's time to just let her get on with it.

MiniMum97 · 09/02/2019 13:57

OMG she's an adult! I can sort of understand your concern and I would definitely be talking to my 17/18 year old about contraception if I hadn't done that already but you can't march her down the doctor! She's an adult ffs!

But your DHs comments! WTF! Does he believe in no sex before marriage. I hope so as it's the only way I can vaguely justify them. There's no shame in having sex while in a relationship (or otherwise if that's her choice) at 18. Would you husband be making those same comments if she was a boy? If not I would be having a stern talk with him about his sexist views.

Owwlie · 09/02/2019 19:42

Possibly??? You're being so overprotective it's hard to believe. She's 18. Her sex life is none of your business. The most you should do is suggest thay she goes on the pill, definitely don't go with her to the appointment, she's an adult. For all you know she could already be on the pill.

As for your husband suggesting it would be 'giving her the green light', it's her body! She's not his possession, it's not up to him to give permission when he feels she's old enough.

punishmepunisher · 09/02/2019 19:46

Lol at an 18 year old having to have Daddy's permission to get laid.

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