I'm passing my snacking habit on to my toddler

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I have an 18 month old. We mostly eat healthily. Three meals a day, an extra snack if needed, eaten at the table. Most meals are cooked from scratch, loads of fruit and veg, no food groups excluded, no pressure to eat if he doesn't want to. We have snacks and desert often if we are out with friends/family and occasionally at home by ourselves.

I'm not on a diet, but I've been on one most of my life with yo-yoing weight. I can eat healthily, as above, and don't go hungry at meals, but I do snack on junk food excessively. Especially as a stay at home mum, after a bad night's sleep with a day of entertaining a little one stretching ahead of me, I don't know another way to keep going. An apple just doesn't help in the same way that cake does.

Toddler is staring to notice. Either I share a little of my snack which means biscuits and cake multiple times a day, or I don't which also sends a messed up message about food if some are off limits to him. I feel awful about this, but it's not stopping me from snacking. I'm so angry and ashamed that I can't get this under control for the sake of my baby

Can't you try to snack when he's asleep?

I know my brother and SIL always get their stash out when my nephew is asleep

I could. But when it's 8am, we've been up for hours, everyone has left for work and toddler groups haven't started yet .... it seems like naptime is an eternity away, let alone bedtime.

Secret kitchen snacks, where LO cant see?

It's not ideal, but I know how hard it is.

Is there anything you can do to help him sleep in later - you say you’ve been up hours at 8am?
Could you substitute the sugary stuff for tea or coffee to pep you up? Looking up some of the threads on giving up sugar might help...

I know it's really tough, but you can do it. Have a big breakfast, something filling like oatmeal, and drink a lot of water.

Nothing wrong with a healthy snack. Eat healthy snacks yourself, then share. An apple is the most filling 60 calories you can have, or so I've heard. You sound like you're addicted to sugar (I am too, so no judgement here). I don't buy the stuff in on the first place, then I only need self control when I do the shopping, as opposed to all the time.

You do seem to be contradicting yourself here...'We mostly eat healthily. Three meals a day, an extra snack if needed,' ... 'We have snacks and desert often if we are out with friends/family and occasionally at home by ourselves' ...' but I do snack on junk food excessively.'
Which is it? Basically the solution is to stop having unhealthy snacks in the house, if they are not in the cupboards they are not there to eat. When you get the urge try simple things like toast or a bowl of cereal or a banana

I used to not buy stuff in, but most days I seem to come back with something from the shop. Maybe that would help, getting stricter about not bringing snacks into the house.

kismetjayne we've a stupid open plan thing, so he knows the second I even look at the biscuits. Secret car snacks work sometimes, but not for much longer I reckon.

Just do what I do- secretly eat whilst sitting at the top of the stairs while they’re watching CBeebies.

crimsonlake I'm trying to say that the problem isn't that I'm hungry, that I haven't eaten nutritious healthy meals, or am restricting myself then breaking down and snacking. Snacking is just my method of getting through the tough days.

I guess I was also trying to point out that in general I have put a lot of thought into how to model healthy eating habits as I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I know what I should do to teach toddler healthy behaviour re snacks - but being honest with myself, I am failing in this respect.

Agree, don't have them in the house. No biscuits to look at or eat. When this lot is gone, don't buy any more. Keep carrot sticks and other snackables in the fridge. Crackers, rice cakes (not the kind covered in chocolate!) Never go to the shops hungry, it's much easier to resist temptation when you're already full. Once you've had none for a while you'll stop craving them as much. It's tough in the early stages though.

We save all chocolate for after 8pm when the toddler is in bed.
Occasionally we have a mid afternoon cup of tea and biscuit and offer to split the biscuit with him, but he knows once his piece is gone there are no more and he can have some fruit/raisins etc

Do you have dessert every day?
Might be worth cutting this out to instil good lifelong eating habits. Replace it with fruit and save dessert for the weekend.

Oh definitely not every day. Dessert is less than once a week, unless we have guests.