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Original poster

Father in law wants to be on own with baby

38 replies

LauraaJ1987 · 08/02/2019 10:20

Hi!

So since we've had our little boy my partners dad always wants to be on his own with him. If we are out he will say things like "I'll push the pram so you can shop" I reluctantly let him, then before I know it he's gone and I can't find him at all. One time he was in another shop! Am I right to be uncomfortable with this?
He and mother in law have been separated for years and she lives over 200 miles away and my parents over 300.
He got angry with me the other day because when we visit my family we will leave baby with my mum but not with him overnight. I'm just not comfortable with it. I had to tell him to stop kissing baby on the lips too which I can't stand.

Am I being over the top?

Help!

OP posts:

Lookingforadvice123 · 08/02/2019 13:14

Ye it's weird. If he just wanted to push the pram along while you were all together I would think he's just a proud grandad and to let it go. But to keep taking it away? And the kiss on the lips thing. My MIL is a bit like this although not in a creepy way AT ALL, she just loves her one on one time with DS age 3 and would much rather we weren't there, and has been since he was a baby!

I've recently noticed she will kiss him on the lips though when saying bye bye, I didn't notice it when he was younger and DH has said he will say something if he sees her doing it as I feel like only DH and I should kiss him on the lips.

Snowflakes1122 · 08/02/2019 13:17

I wouldn’t like this either.

I’d be putting my yhe baby in a sling when I was out with him around

Original poster

LauraaJ1987 · 08/02/2019 13:22

My partner is the type of person that wouldn't take any s$#t from anyone but for some reason he will with his dad, and is worried about upsetting him.
I've told him if he won't say something I will. Which is why he said about kissing to his dad because my partner doeant like it either but when he takes him off if we are out my partner can't see the problem with it and thinks it's just him wanting to spend time with his grandson. I just don't like it, I've spoken to my dad about it, he thinks its really really weird and he told me a mother's instinct is always right and to never leave baby on his own with him. He cant understand why he wants to be alone with him.

I will speak to him about the issues. Just hope it will stop it, if not it's going to cause a huge bust up but at the end of the day my child comes first.

OP posts:

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Freeeeeburd · 08/02/2019 13:22

I wouldn’t like this, especially the kissing on the lips thing. Agree with getting a sling

Original poster

LauraaJ1987 · 08/02/2019 13:23

I would put him in a sling but baby doesn't like it :/

OP posts:

Mummylife2018 · 08/02/2019 13:29

Next time you need to run into a shop or something, TAKE YOUR BABY!!!!! Do NOT leave this man anywhere near your child. I personally would stop contact. At the very least, you need to sit him down and explain how uncomfortable it makes you feel

Mummylife2018 · 08/02/2019 13:31

Tell your boyfriend that if it happens again then contact will be stopped

SadnessAndDespair · 08/02/2019 13:31

OP....when I was a small child, my Grandfather used to kiss me on the lips. I hated it and always tried to move away, only to be told (by my parents), not to be silly, give Granddad a kiss. Granddad would say I was hurting his feelings because he had always kissed me on my lips since I was a baby. He went on to sexually abuse me. Please OP - protect your child. Listen to your inner self, and if your child ever says anything you feel is not right, then listen to him too. My whole life has been skewed by the abuse my Grandfather subjected me to.

Mmmhmmm · 08/02/2019 13:33

It's not necessarily sinister, see this all the time on threads with problematic MIL's. It's usually because they're jealous and wish the baby was theirs. So if they have them alone I guess they can pretend it's their baby. Men aren't exempt from having those weird feelings.

I've dealt with a bit of that from my MIL. She found motherhood really difficult and had difficult babies. Our daughter is very easy going and calm and I've found motherhood to be a joy. My husband was the first to notice his Mum was a bit bitter that she didn't have a child as easy as ours and wishing she was hers. It's weird. 🤷🏻‍♀️

GoodStuffAnnie · 08/02/2019 13:33

Why is this odd? Man loves his grandchild?

Original poster

LauraaJ1987 · 08/02/2019 13:47

SadnessandDespair I am so sorry to hear that :(

Its a difficult one because I don't think it's anything sinister, at least I hope not. It just make me feel really uncomfortable and sets my anxiety off really bad and doesn't feel right.
I don't understand the need to be on his own with him.

Apologies if I'm not replying to you all correctly, I'm new to this but have taken every comment on board, so thank you

OP posts:

Chimmychunga · 08/02/2019 13:50

Really Annie ??? You can't see how a grown man, unable to follow simple instructions from a mother isn't a cause of concern? To the point he takes her child so she can't find them. Gets angry because he doesn't get to keep the baby overnight but the other set of GP do. That isn't a cause for concern to you!?? The mind boggles.

Mummylife2018 · 08/02/2019 15:04

What are you going to do @LauraaJ1987 ? X

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