Bedwetting - Would you let your child go on a sleepover wearing a pull up?

[RedK2000]

My DD is 5.5yrs old and in year 1 at school. A school friend has invited her for a sleep over. She's a heavy sleeper with a wet pull up every night.
She's had sleep overs with family and friends she's known all her life regularly and really wants to go on the sleep over at her school friends. But I'm worried that her friend might make fun or tell others at school.

I think I am much more worried about this than DD and perhaps over thinking it. Would you let her go on the sleepover or say no to avoid her any embassment?

Yes give her a pull up to wear. When she's getting ready for bed she could put it on in the loo if she wants to be discrete. Much less problematic and less potential for embarrassment than the host family having to deal with wet bedding etc.

And for what it's worth I know of a number of 5 year olds (my nephew included) that still wear pull ups at night. I don't think it's very unusual.

My DS wet the bed and used pull-ups and we went through this, I feel your pain!
We managed sleepovers with big pj bottoms and he changed in the bathroom when he woke up and took the pull ups off, he popped them back in his bag.
If his friends noticed they didn't say anything.
We tried everything to stop the bed wetting and eventually he just stopped, there was no one thing that worked for us

Is your child able to put them on themselves and discretely and then take them off in the morning? I personally wouldn't send my child in pull ups. If the other children see then they could be very cruel to your child.

I would not have let my dc go at that age if he had to wear a pull up. But my ds would not have managed to put the pull up on and take it off discreetly.

5.5 is quite young for a non-family sleepover in my view, pull-ups or no pull-ups.
It's also not particularly old to still be in a pull-up at night.
Can your DD get the pull ups on and off herself, and dispose of them properly in a bag?
But perhaps the more pertinent question is do you know and trust the other mum well enough not to be embarrassed / worried about asking her to help DD with the pull up? Because if you don't, DD shouldn't be sleeping over there anyway, regardless of the bedwetting. She is still very young and needs to feel secure in the care of whichever adult she's left with.

My DS et the bed at that age. I would not have sent him on a sleepover except to family who I'm happy to help with intimate care.

Only if I knew the other Mum well and knew she would deal with it well.

It’s all v well putting them on in the toilet but there is disposal to think about.

I think year 1 is probably too young for a non-family sleepover, generally. My DC had a sleepover at that age but only because the other child's mum was in hospital. I think 7,8,9 is a more typical age.

No. In this same situation with my ds, I explained to the other mum and invited the other child to sleep here instead. That way the sleep over still happened, there was no embarrassment or expecting another parent to deal with disposal. Worked out great, they’re in juniors now and still great friends.

5 years is still very young. But irrespective of age, if my child wet the bed I would only send them on a sleep over if I knew the parents really well and trusted them.

I would have sent mine a sleepover at that age to a school friend.

Meant wouldn't!!

I think it would depend how well you knew the parents. For the 2 times DD has been to a friend's for a sleepover (and she was well over 5) I knew the parents very well indeed, and I would be confident that with a situation like this they would handle it very gently and caringly.

Though, actually, I wouldn't let DD go on a sleepover to any house where I didn't know the parents very well.

I think it's quite normal for 5 year olds to still wear pull ups (my just turned 6 year old does). Her friend might as well. But 5 seems really young still for a sleepover at a friend's. I'd maybe discuss them having a late night together, but picking her up before bedtime? Unless you know the parents well and are comfortable with that.

Thanks everyone. I have declined the sleep over and explained to the other mum. She understood. I'm planning to use the incentive of a sleep over to get DD to focus on trying without pull ups at half term.
Of course she may just not be ready, but I need to try without to know if she just uses them out of habit or if she's just not ready yet.

both of my kids were v late being dry at night and its not something that can be taught or trained. They went on sleepovers with children who had long established friendships and I knew the mums well. I think DD wore pull ups at one of hers and they both have taken bed mats which the host mums discretely put on the bed without their child seeing (took sleeping bags as well to minimise risk to hosts bedding! The only person who has ever made fun of either of them for wearing pull ups was a 19 y.o cousin who I would have hoped known better!

Jeez 5.5 seems so young for a sleepover!

Pull ups are common with groups like Beavers and Brownies. They put it on in the toilet and have a carrier bag to take it away for appropriate disposal.