It's all going wrong :(

[Blueberrycheesecake1]

My DS is nearly 13 months and has recently started nursery / me work.

He has always been a relatively decent sleeper and a very good eater. At nursery he only does 1 nap and it's usually a short one (1 to 1.5 hours). Before starting there, he would do 45 minutes in the morning then 1.5 hours in afternoon and does that when he is not there.

He is not eating much there but too tired to eat when he comes home. He has also been ill a lot since starting (chest infection, gastroenteritis, diarrhea) which also isn't helping - he sometimes only eats breadsticks. He used to eat such a variety of veg, meat, dairy etc.

We have had night wakings and some really early starts which is exhausting and I feel I've lost my happy smiley baby which is breaking my heart. I'm also back to feeding him in the night as I feel he must be hungry so it feels like we are going backwards.

Just looking for some advice or people's experiences that this is not unusual and will get better? :(

TIA

It's a transition and you will both get used to it. His little immune system will get stronger and he won't always be picking up every bug going. I remember when DS was tiny, there was one winter when he was so badly congested he would be coughing every night and would be vomiting every night in bed. He had to sleep with me as I was paranoid about him choking and we were always running out of clean sheets. He grew out of it. And so will your DS.

Yup. Starting nursery is rubbish. It changes the routine, they get loads of bugs and these both affect sleep and eating. It will get better.

Thank you. It's just sad to see him tired and not eating and I feel tired so don't have the energy to try perk him up. It's been a month already and no improvement..

It is very tough when they’re ill like that.

It’s not necessarily nursery - my youngest who didn’t go to nursery had a first winter of various horrible ailments, whereas his older siblings who did just got sniffles and snot.

I think it’s just one of those periods where you need to spend a little time working out what works for you all right now - what works for you on nursery days and on no-Nursery days.

Maybe you let him eat a snack-y supper on nursery days because the stress of a full meals not worth it, but you spend longer on food when he’s not at nursery and not so tired.

Maybe you just accept night feeding for now because he’s been ill and it works to get you some sleep and tackle that when it’s no longer workable. Or maybe you figure that’s driving you crazy and that’s the one thing you really want to work on for your sanity...

Maybe you consider a nanny share or different hours or something else that seems like it would solve a problem.

Maybe you figure it’s all temporary and you’re happy with his Nursery and your job and so you just let it all happen and wait until things shift naturally.

Whatever works for you and your baby and your family and your situation.

It does all change all the time, it is really hard working out how things work after those big changes. Whatever you do remember to take care of yourself too!

Thank you for such a lovely message Mimimimo.

I just want him to be happy and rested and well fed. I don't mind the night feedings (as a temporary thing!), it's actually the early mornings followed by a full day at work (and full day at nursery for him - he refuses a morning nap there) followed by a crying tired baby that is tough.

I feel so bad as he woke at 4am but I fed him and he went back to sleep, but then apparently he woke distressed and crying at 5am and I didn't even hear him. His dad thought I was ignoring it so didn't do anything, so DS probably cried himself to sleep and I didn't even wake up :( :( :(