Really disliking breastfeeding 😔

[mummyp3e3]

Hi mum's I'm just looking to vent and get some advice. I've been breastfeeding LO for 20 weeks, and up until now have never had any issues other than a small latching on issue that our community midwife helped correct. LO is exclusively bf and refuses any kind of bottle when I've expressed. Just lately in the night time I've found myself really Hating bfing, LO wakes every two hours and is going through sleep regression so perhaps the sleep deprivation isnt helping. She's always fed to sleep and takes well over an hour an half to be put down. During the small hours I just hate how it feels, it's not painful but the way she pulls on my boob and rips her head back just make me hate feeding, then of course I feel exceptionally guilty as its her only source of food and tell myself to stop it😪. Has anyone else ever felt this way x

I'm feeding a very wriggly almost 2 year old and I have definitely had periods of feeling like this. You definitely shouldn't feel guilty. It will probably pass, but you should also know that it's fine to stop if you want to.

Does she refuse the bottle if you're out of the house? My son only liked the bottle to start with if I was nowhere to be seen.

How long has this been going on? I used to get this just before my period...once my period started it would pass. This might be useful--breastfeeding aversion and agitation kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/breastfeeding-nursing-aversion-agitation-baa/

I wondered if it might be to do with your period, or possibly being pregnant?

My son is 18 months old and sometimes I really, really hate breastfeeding!!!

However, it usually passes after a few days and I remind myself why I’m doing it and tell myself that it won’t be forever.

Second that it can be hormonal. I get this around ovulation time especially. My periods came back at 3 months pp despite ebf around the clock, so it’s possible.

it might clear after a few days as others mention... can you stick with it and see?

important question: Do you want to continue exclusively breast feeding? or have you definitely had enough?
if not sure there is a middle ground (puts on tin hat) : you could have some early nights... say 8ish, a bottle of formula given as the last feed from your partner later....baby might sleep longer... and see if getting more sleep. you then might feel better about it all.

realise this is not for everyone but I was advised to "dual fuel" as I adamantly wanted to b feed but wasn't very well/didn't produce enough milk.
I managed it for till 10 months this way.

it has to be ok for you as well as baby. you have done really well

I remember DD starting to become more aware at 20 weeks so it made breastfeeding less of a snuggly experience as she started to do the head pulling away thing etc. Teeth were coming through and I found adjusting the hold to rugby ball hold made it more comfy for her (and me). I also used to feed her to sleep and yes it took the same amount of time!! Then I would gently try to put her into bed and she would wake and I'd start all over again....BUT it didn't last that long in the grand scheme of things looking back.

One thing I didn't do but now wish I had, for those long sessions in the semi dark, listen to a podcast or some such?

Oh and you only have a few weeks to go until the joy of weaning! I loved BLW. Not saying you'll drop breast feeds for quite a while but its a fun distraction.

I used to get very touched out and hating it during the night when they were having bad sleep and I was exhausted. Just accepting and breathing into the feeling helped a lot for me. Agree that being about to get my period also influenced it.

I'd suggest riding it out for a few days, doing your best to catch up on sleep and seeing if it passes.

Sounds like nursing aversion:
kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/breastfeeding-nursing-aversion-agitation-baa/
It’s surprisingly common and always worse when you’re tired.
I have read other mums saying they find taking magnesium supplements helped, could try that?