My 2yo DD isn't on the whole a big tantrummer, but she seems to go through phases where she is particularly sensitive and has mini tantrums quite easily (I say mini because usually she does calm down pretty quickly). My understanding of tantrums is you shouldn't ever give in to them, which is fine if I have said no then I won't give into a tantrum.
My question is about when she tantrums about stuff that I am more than happy to do/have - for example she wants lunch or she wants a cuddle. So when she is having one of these phases rather than saying she is hungry can we have lunch, she might go straight for tantrumming for lunch.
My approach has been to say "I can't let you just shout at me like that when you want something. If you calm down and ask me nicely we can have lunch". She (usually) will calm down and ask nicely reasonably quickly so we have lunch.
Sometimes I worry that to her it might feel like the tantrum has worked and she got what she wanted, but I can't stop the poor little thing having lunch or having a cuddle! Sometimes it is about things that aren't a crucial part of our day like having lunch, but I am still happy to do like reading a particular book or playing a particular game.
Does my approach sound OK? What do other people do in this situation?