How long did you breastfeed for?

[PerfectPeony]

I have a 7 month old and have been lucky to be able to EBF so far. I love it and ideally would like to continue.

The problem I have is that I think we have a sleep association where she keeps waking up at night and constantly wants to be latched on. Sometimes I don’t mind and it’s quite nice to co sleep occasionally. However the last few weeks she’s been up every 2 hours or so and it’s very draining.

Could night weaning help this? Or will I have to stop altogether? I will need to go back to work soon but was hoping to BF morning/ night.

Just interested to see how long others BF for and if it affected sleep? I don’t want to lose my supply and still have her unable to sleep but with no way to comfort her.

But she's seven months old and I've got a handle on how long it takes for her to be hungry again after a good feed. Good question though, points for originality.

Are you never hungry between meals?

Are you doubling in size and getting ready to crawl/walk/talk? Do you have separation anxiety?

@poutysprout

Believe me, I do not let my child cry for any reason that I have it within my power to fix. DH can get her back to sleep unless she's hungry. If that's the case, I deal with it.

WRT separation anxiety, you're preaching to the converted there, if you check out my posting history, you'll see that.

14 months. Once I stopped and only offered water at night he went from waking every hour to sleeping through within days

4.5 years. Night-weaned at... can't remember. 18 months? 2? Anyway - made bugger all difference to his sleep. Finally slept through just before he weaned at 4.5.

2 years with DS1, 16 months with DS2 (with 2 months tandem feeding in the overlap!) Night weaned both by 12 months with minor exceptions like when they were sick and dehydrated and they would only take breast for comfort and sleep.

Yes, I'd wait a little longer or try other gentle ways first - especially if you're not good at tough love, I always think the worst case is when you let them cry enough to distress them but not enough to teach them to self settle (my sister did this, and I was at the time childless and a bit superior but now totally understand why!).

We never went cold turkey. It helped to have done the gentle tips from the No Cry book first, but what really cracked it with Ds2 was not feeding to sleep at the start - I'd feed him in my arms then hand to DH to rock until asleep then put down, and over a week or 2 he was able to put him down dozy and then pat and cuddle to sleep. It stopped those first wakings you talk about, and also meant that my DH could do more soothing (until then he only wanted me and feeding again).

After that, I extended his 'no feed' period gradually - I set myself a goal of no feeding until midnight, so as a start, the first time I went in (probably about 8pm!) I'd try patting/rocking first, for up to 20 minutes or if he got really upset. Often he was actually fine, and I thought that even if he was crying, he was in my arms and knew he wasn't alone. Then gradually I could extend by an hour or so. Frankly though, you're not going to find a totally rear free method. If you go cold turkey you'll have way more tears but for fewer nights - my way was not too painful but was tiring.

If it's not appealing, or you try something and it doesn't work, don't beat yourself up. With ds1 and 3 I did everything 'wrong' from feeding to sleep to relying on the sling and buggy for most naps, and they were easy sleepers who could self settle well. If I'd been a Gina Ford mum, they would have absolutely fallen in line with the routine. Ds2 and 4 same treatment but very different results. Sometimes they have their own plans, and all we can do is tinker at the edges!

*tear free not rear free!

I bf'd for 3.5 years. From 6 months dd would sleep from 8pm - 5am when she'd have a night feed and then she'd be back down until about 7.30-ish. From 12 months she dropped the 5am feed and slept all the way through until 7.30-ish, but I was very fortunate that I didn't have to actively night wean.

I can't remember (teenagers!) when I dropped to morning and evening feeds only, but probably around 10 months or so; fed them till 14-15 months in the end - the eldest self-weaned (or possibly went on a feeding strike!) and that felt a good age to stop with the youngest too.

craftygin 13 years ??

Well done! You must be very patient! 👏

Two weeks. It broke my heart I was too ill to do longer. And ground my gears that mws and hvs were too busy chastising me for that instead of getting me cared for and ultimately diagnosed with MS.

Thanks stuck that’s all really helpful advice. I am going to wait a month or so- she seems to have a permanent runny nose (germs at baby groups!) so I want to make 100% sure that’s not the reason. I think I’d feel better comforting her by rocking etc. even if she cries rather than just leaving her alone to self settle- she gets way too stressed anyway so that’s not really an option.

I’ve probably ‘made a rod for my own back’ as they say by feeding her too much/ cuddling too much/ letting her sleep on me... I don’t regret but just need to find a gradual solution and I think she’ll be more content once she sleeps better.

You haven't made a rod for your own back. You're nurturing your child

I BF my son for 3y 2m. Night weaned a little before 3...it was a long process. He was a terrible sleeper and still doesn't 'sleep through' at nearly 4, but now he's bigger he just trundles along to our room when he wakes up and tucks in with us. It's lovely. The really broken nights when he screamed hysterically every hour were absolute hell though...I tried every gentle approach I could find in books/online to get him to sleep on his own for more than an hour or so, but in the end the only thing that worked was waiting for him to grow out of it.

First DD 2 years, 2nd DD 4 years
I was extremely lucky and feel super blessed I could do it. If I was to have another baby I'd do it all over again.

I’m still feeding mine at 18 months but I often give him a savoury pouch of baby food before bed ( he goes to bed at 9pm so we don’t get up for the day at 2am) and then feed him and it fills him up more. He has CMPA so when people normally advise giving porridge or formula he gets a pouch of chicken Sunday dinner or similar . He just sucks it straight from the pouch cold, yours might be a little young to do that.
He has been a bad sleeper and if he returns to the every hour or two hour wakings I give him baby food before bed and sometimes in the middle of the night. And it’s weird because it’s only needed for a few days and it seems to reset his sleep to a six hour stretch.

16 months both times. Dd1 stopped when she/I couldn't get comfy with the bump that was dd2 in the way. Dd2 just gradually stopped of her own accord

Sleep gets really disrupted around that time. I suspect she’s on the verge of crawling/starting to pull up, probably mixed with teething and separation anxiety. It’s normal and nothing to do with feeding. If you didn’t have the bf to comfort her, you’d have to come up with something else to help you get through it.

Both of mine woke about every hour then. First was ff (bf for 10 weeks), 2nd was bf (still bf and he’ll be 1 this month). Either way you’ll still need to offer milk at night as it’s too soon for night weaning but bf is definitely less of a faff!

Hang in there and have your partner give you a break on the weekends so you can get a nap or just a break. It will get easier. Mine still wakes a couple times in the evening, but is now back to only one wake up during the night and I’m feeling much more rested.

Thanks Mind that sounds familiar. She has started crawling on her tummy and is trying to get up on her arms so I think that might have a lot to do with it then.

I’ve recently been able to put her down for naps (after she’s fallen asleep) and she’s stayed asleep but these last few days she’s been waking up and not liked being put down.

She’s fine during the day, but at night she only wants Mummy so it’s mostly me atm. Although I did get a lie in when DH got up with her this morning.

It’s such hard work isn’t it. Once you think you’ve got to grips with one thing they change again and it’s back to square one.

we night weaned at 7 months because I couldn't cope with the constant waking overnight and need for boob. it was relentless and I reached breaking point.
he increased feeding during the day slightly but not significantly so.
went back to work at 10 months at which point he would feed morning and then several times in the evening and more during the day at weekends.
now 16 months and still going. has morning feed and one evening feed but sometimes not that bothered. weekends he tends to want a bit more. supply has gradually lessened as we have cut down so I do have much less milk now then when I stopped night feeding but it means I can comfortably go all day at work and overnight too if he doesn't want much of evening feed.

for us night weaning was just part of sleep training. we used a gradual withdrawal approach (vanishing chair) it's not for everyone I only did it because I couldn't cope anymore but it worked and sleep is no longer an issue

good luck

Weaned at just turned five years. Night weaned at two and a half, I put him in his own bed in my bedroom. He understood and was ready and slept through from the first night.

Baby number 1 bf for 7 months.
Baby number 2 bf for exactly 3 years. Stopped on 3rd birthday.
I miss everything about it, loved it.