Tell me how hard it is to have 2 kids with a biggish age gap

[justtellme]

I'm ttc no 2 and failing. Dc1 is 7. I'm feeling crap about it all. I know dc1 will be ok as an only .she knows no different and has plenty of friends

Help me feel better about this please. I know another with a big age gap would be challenging when I have gone past the baby days
This is lighthearted .. I know you never regret a child but I just need a kick up the bum to remind me how lucky I am to even have one and be grateful for her

So tell me all the bad bits and then I can not feel so shit!

Theres a 9 year age gap between my 2 boys and honestly I dont have any bad points!!

Yes its hard going back to nappies and night feeds after being out of baby habits for so long but its really worth it watching them together.

My 10 month old idolises his big brother and gets so excited when he sees him first thing on a morning and after school.

And my 9 year old loves the bones of his little brother because he can make him giggle by just smiling at him!!

No jealousy from my older boy as he is more independent and doesn't need his mum as much as say a toddler would and because he can help me with his brother so feels very involved.

Maybe i will eat my words in a few years when the annoying toddlers trying to get in his teenage brothers room but for right now its just perfect 💙

I know people prefer children to be closer in age and i can understand why, i wanted this also but because of relationship breakdown with my ex that wasn't possible, hence the age gap.

But honestly dont worry, I wouldn't change it at all xx

Thanks @MummyOf1Boy .

I'm glad it's worked out well for you.

I was just feeling a bit down

I will keep trying

DD1 was 5.5 when DD2 was born, a bigger gap than we wanted but that’s just how it worked out. They’re 8.5 and 3 now and on the whole it’s been fine. I had lots of one on one time with DD2 while her sister was at school, and now that she’s a bit older they often play really nicely together. They also fight and wind each other up, but that’s siblings for you!

It can be hard at times when DD2 wants to join in and do stuff that DD1 is doing but she’s too young for (we get a lot of “that’s not fair”, from both of them... ). But if you want another child then go for it, a big age gap is definitely not a reason not to!

I have two DDs aged 11 & 3.
There are a lot of positives I think, but obviously not what your looking for.
I think the negatives for us where that DD1 was used to being an only child and the centre of attention, it was a big change for her and only really now it's noticeable that she gets quite jealous, which I know is natural with any age gap but I think it can be worse because she is of an age where she's expected to be more independent and obviously her sister is not.
They don't play much together, DD1 would rather be doing her nails than building blocks with DD2.
DD1 will be going to high school this year, so I've just finished all that and DD2 has just started nursery, so it's like going back to square 1!
There aren't a lot of activities outside the house that are suitable for both and that they would both enjoy, so one is usually bored and unhappy.
One is a hormonal, moody, pre-teen and the other is a moody, tantruming toddler, here they share a lot of similarities.
I hope if you get pg now you won't curse me for telling you :P

Thanks all useful

I'm telling myself that we have moved on from the baby days and it would be very hard and that one parent will always have to be with one child and the other with the other so we will be rarely together as a family

It also means two different sets of friends for play dates as they would be such different ages.

Feeling better

I'm in s similarish boat as I kind of want a 3rd but DH doesn't. DC are 4 and 7, so there'd be at least 5 years between middle and youngest. I think what purs he off most us how limiting a baby/toddler is in terms if what you can do outside the house. Mine are at great ages to do things with now (at home and out) and I'd miss out on quality time with them if I was tied to feeding a baby or chasing a toddler.

What puts me off most*

Squiddy yes that puts me off too

On paper there are lots of cons but the emotional pull is hard!

I’ve got 7.5 years between my boys with a girl in between. Currently with eldest about to do GCSE’s and younger in year 4 it’s quite hard as eldest has no patience for youngest and youngest thinks he’s 16 and can’t quite comprehend that he’s 8 and therefore can’t do the same as his brother. Having said that I’ve no regrets at all. As they get older the age gap will close and they have far more in common than either of them will admit

Thanks believability

I'm sure it will all be worth it if it happens

Just being able to leave the house and do fun things .. I am relishing that....